Okay, Hair, listen. I know that it's humid. I don't need your constant reminder. For fucks' sake, calm down already.

Beard: If you are going to grow in, you've got to grow in everywhere. None of this "Dave will have a goatee" bullshit. I don't want a goatee.

To be honest, Complexion, I didn't really expect more out of you. You've always been a little zitty, but at least you've calmed down a little.

Skin: During the summer you are golden brown, and it's great. During the winter, you are a jaundiced yellow color. It is less great.