Last week Saturday I went on a GSA retreat. It was a social retreat - meant to be light and fluffy. I was still having the violent thoughts from earlier. Really really violent. According to my friends, "scary". I was also having really bad impulses, like wanting to buy a knife, or a gun. While I was stuffing journals and a sketch book into my bag, I saw my broken bat on the floor. Something came up inside me and I just had the impulse to take the bat. I don't know why. I didn't want to hurt anyone in the GSA, and I wasn't planning on attacking anyone on the street.