I had a dream that I was friends with Mitch and Lass once again. We were sitting around Mitch's computer making jokes. Could it be an omen?

I feel so skint.
It's like, I feel like I'm standing at the precipice of a great mountain screaming to the top of my lungs...and all around me are people who are in my life, not even paying attention or listening to my screams.

I wrote this when i was trying to figure out if i was insane or just trying to justify my actions by that thought.

I scare myself
I trick myself every day
I go through all the motions
of a normal human being
But in my head
Youll find im not the same
Anxiety is to classify me
But Im not sure
If this thought is pure
Is it all a dillusion
Just a boring ammusion

Have you ever felt... the breath of expiring slumber? When the sun forays into consciousness so raw, that you remain caroused in blissful illusion? The ceiling becomes pure skin, porcelain white and distorted with perfection. Vision smattered with fog and rain blur as if looking through a stormy window, and lights commence a frenzied dance with the tremor of your gaze. Clutched in your hands, sheets dripping with pits and falls of morning light becomes your willing ward. And you wish you can remain there forever, drifting in and out of oblivion. There, you're just a beating heart, a receptical of feeling. Just simply... living.

Ah... the irony. Today I went to new market with my sister (Oh Yay! Family Bonding!) because she needs to fix her laptop. We were waiting at bus stop and I started talking to her what people are like.

In a labyrinth
Walking tightropes
Between two different worlds
Of humanity and savagery
It destroys me
And Defects my happy delusions
I've come to come conclusion
That collision is soon to come
Give me your strongest scream
Not your feeble dreams
Feed me your darkest truths
Not your unbidden lies
Shadows that ooze and drip
Upon the walls
Shroud my solid epiphany

As I sit here in the bleak, darkness of my room I can hear them. They are the Invaders. They speak in loud tones, of other things, yet I know inside they are cursing my existence, because I'm gay. I feel so alone. I've met others like me, with habitual similarities and compulsive differences. I feel eventually torn from them, when I say my father is a pastor.

This is my first journal entry on this site, and I wanted to write about my doubts and fears. I feel that I was supposed to be born a girl, but I have so many thoughts and questions that cloud my mind, I don't know what to do. I've already told my parents about this, but they seem to be distant. To start my first thought, what if I were to live the rest of my life as a female?

First time ever playing Kingdom Hearts and I must say its fun. Although A long time ago my mum spilled soda on my controller so the buttons keep sticking so I'm getting angry at it. I kept trying to hit the little shadow thingys and nothing would happen. Since I tend to throw things when I get mad I am now watching Rent, with my cats.

I absolutely love cats, and dogs, and horses come to think of it but the cats are the only ones allowed in the house. I have five total in the house and two outside. My three children are all orange tabbies I bottle fed so their very affectionate and love to cuddle. There are two boys and a girl, Noah, Rex, and Baby cat. Then the two others are Angel(a tortoise shell) and Stormy(grey and white patches with dark gray stripes in the light gray). Stormy is my brothers cat but she makes too much noise when hes sleeping or something so I've adopted her.