they were throwing flower petals like confetti
I swear, mom
they made the wind blow
through my hair; made it look like I walked
into a hurricane
the music was loud, that’s why I’m
not listening
it’s the buzzing in my ears
not anything else

not thoughts of her in her pretty dress
her hand in my hair
our bodies moving in time to some
heavy downbeats
repetitive mumblings
the words
always
have something to do
with sex

I swear
I don’t remember
um maybe
well….

mind blank like white paper.
word processor.
stalled writing,
talking,
thinking
over ages.