I feel like crying. There's this little one-room lgbt support center on the college campus in my town, that's basically the only youth-oriented lgbt support thing in my town that's secular and not at a private residence. And it turns out that yesterday night it got vandalized, and spraypainted "Fags" and "Fags go 2 Hell" and shit like that all over, and I know you were expecting something really awful like a murder, but I just felt so sad.

Okay. We've all (or most of us have) seen "101 Dalamtians." I'm talking about the animated Disney version, not the live-action Glenn Close one. You know that part where Cruella de Vil is sitting in bed, and she answers her phone, and it's this really cool spindly old timey phone? What type of phone is that, being more specific than saying a landline telephone? I can't find a photo, but does anyone know the actual type I'm talking about?

SO yeah. My mom had kind of asked me a few weeks ago, and my really brave answer was "That's a personal question," and apparently she and my little sister drew from that I was thinking I might be bisexual, so, unbeknownst to me, she told my dad and older sister (but not my bro). But while we were walking the family dog on Friday, she said "Have you thought any more about whether or not you're bisexual?," and then I was like, "No, I think I'm a lesbian," and that there was a really high probability, and we had this really nice talk.

So yeah, it was my bday a little while ago ( like a couple weeks ago). It was nice. six friends and I saw "A Fish Called Wanda" at my house, then ate a very lovely and classy dinner my mom made us. It was really nice. My guy friend gave me a cool button and a drawing he did from Brokeback Mountain, where Jack Twist and Ennis del Mar are standing face-to-face by each other, but not looking at each other's eyes. That was really sweet.

So today at my (other) friend's b-day party (he is, btw, bi, and the friend who said faggot knows it), we were playing acting games, and it became this really funny, intense skit about how Edward was actually gay, as was Jacob and Mike Newton, and my friend (who's straight), who was playing Bella, yelled that she was going to leave Edward for that "faggot Mike Newton." Now, my other bi guy friend, who was sitting right next to me, burst out laughing, but I just felt really uncomfortable.

*Doodle-do*
*do-Doodle*
[realizes inability to dance, stops]
WHO'S EXCITED ABOUT CHRISTMAS?!?!?!??!
Or Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Islamic New Year!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?
Y'know, whatever?!?!?
[accepts inabiltiy to dance, begins anew]
*Dooodle-da*
*da-Dooooooodle-dee-do*

Woohoo! I have been on Oasis for one full year! Hoorah! Accomplishment made.

Okay, I have asked four people, three of whom were wearing it on their heads. But none of them what it was. It's a knit hat, like a doily, so you can see the hair underneath (though the hair isn't piled in like a hairnet, it's worn loose, with the cap hanging on like a skull cap). Beret has been a common word to describe it by the people wearing it, though I don't think that's what it is called. Best description I can do is that it's a mix of the hats Rastafarians wear to catch all their dreads in, a hairnet, and a doily. It's usually packaged in with boho chic/indie styles.

Okay, maybe I should clarify. This is extreme English nerd territory. And I am one, and I got it from my mom, so I don't know, maybe only we find it funny. ANd I know I probably should have put this under journal entry, but I wanted it to stay up for as long as people keep checking in on it and it's wanted, so I picked forum entry. But here goes: http://thenonist.com/index.php/thenonist/permalink/hot_library_smut/

So I'm in ninth grade, and at my school, if you're in Honors English, you can choose between Humanities and Classics. Well, I'm taking Classics, and I was reading the author bios in the front of the plays in our "Theatre and Drama" textbook, and I was reading Oscar Wilde's, when I noticed something was horrible wrong. They said his career was cut short by his being jailed for "immorality," but they didn't even mention what the "immorality" was. And nothing about Tennessee William's gayness either!

So. yeah. I think I've got my first official crush(es). I say crush(es) because there is more than one girl I think is cute/smart, but then there's one girl who's just cute... I don't know. I just thought I'd make you all aware.

Yeah, I'm back. Missed you guys! Went on vacation to Hawai'i, that was really fun. Mass quantities of really hot girls in bikinis? Yeah. I win. But yeah. Missed you all, and just kind of announcing the reappearance of my presence.

Okay, I saw "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," and it fucking blew my mind, it was so fucking awesome.
But, just to let you guys at Oasis know, I also found two videos on youtube, just search "Harry Potter and the Brokeback Goblet." The first one at the top sucks; watch the second one down, or the first one, down the search results list a bit, that is four minutes long, confusing, yeah I know, but I'll post their links in a second.

OK, it's the 4th of July, and I was hanging out with my friends at their blanket. And there's this one girl there, R, who I have this weird attraction to (weird in that I think she returns it, but... it's weird). So yeah. It ends up she asks our guy friend if he's bi, and he's says yeah. And then, I say, "What about me?" And she asks me, and to shorten the story, I come out to her and the one other person there who didn't know (there are two more who already knew). But then, I ask R if she's queer, and she says she doesn't know, but she probably is, and gender doesn't matter.

So yeah. I had asked my mom if we could go to Starbucks. So we do, and while we're there, she talks to me about when I should have sex, and about pregnancy, and the whole straight sex talk. She doesn't know I'm queer, so I was like "Omigod" through the whole thing. And then she makes sex references, and I'm thinking, "TMI. I'm a lesbian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It was surreal.

So yeah. At library, and I'm waiting in the line for checkout. And there's this female librarian. And I can't help but think, she's a lesbian. She's not really that butch, but hey, there was something about her, and that watch.... Of course, I reprimand myself, and I thnk "don't assume." One of the things I'm checking out, though, is "Rubyfruit Jungle" a famous lesbian coming-of-age novel. And when I hand it over to her, she smiles and says "Oh, I love this book." I don't know, it was kind of nice to a queer person in a random job, not something really stereotypical :)

Just realized there are a ton of us late-nighters on right npw, how many is it? Okay, list:
perple
terrabean
Strawberry-chan
lacking_direction
ferrets
there were a couple more a minute ago... oh well, that's random, I just appreciated the fact right now.

So yeah. I went to the Gay Pride Parade at the capitol. the whole parade was really fun. I walked in the religious contingent, with other memebers of my church (including my mom), and I got invited to a methodist youth reconciling (protestant code for gay) camp-conference thingy (not really sure) in Colorado. Epic! And there were more spectators this year, which was good, but still not nearly enough. I think the highlight has to be with the anti-gay protesters. Sounds weird, yes I know, but stay with me.

Okay, so it's the Gay Pride Parade tomorrow, and I'm going with my church and my mom to march in the parade. But my friend (he's bi) backed out at the last minute, so yeah, pissed. Now I'll probably have to be escorted by my mom to the youth booths. Oh well. Plus, I wanted to go to the library to get "But I'm a Cheerleader" and "The Celluloid Closet." But, damn, the library is closed when I get there. Oh well. I'll be gayer tomorrow :)

Okay, add two more to the list of people I've come out to. Thank you yearbooks! But yeah. Last day of school!Went Downtown afterwards with a friend, and we hung out at Starbuck's, the record store, the book store, and this Italian deli. It was awesome. This guy friend that I really like, but not that way, essentially has asked me out, but yeah. Complicated. Like, I was confused, and sort of flirting with him, but now I'm more sure I'm a lesbian, and shit - now he thinks I want to date him. Anyways, we were going to see a movie, but he backed out (politely), so yeah. Crisis avoided.