Right now i am pretty young, still a high school student. Just this school year I had told some of my friends that I was gay. The first was a friend who I considered a sister. We were pretty close since we lived next to each other for three years and knew almost everything about each other.

Blood comes flowing
Through the blade
It cant be coming
From me

Breath comes quickly
From my chest
All the more
Easily

Why do I feel this way
A mixture of releif and dismay
Another Scar Another day
Make it go away

Things have went from bad to worse, within the space of a few days....:(

blah...here i am again...an entry hog lol...sorrie...i'm just in the mood to write. well i've wrote these awhile ago but yeah...wanted to share, so this is ANOTHER lol...one of my poems...enjoy!

[Title]; Be Thankful
[Written]; October 13, 2005

as the pain in my heart
begins to throb
i wonder how god
could rob me of this peace
why is it so hard to deal with the pain

another one of my many poems in my lost but now found composition books...this is called Deep Within;

as the tears are flowing
and the cuts are growing
ad opening to the heightened pain.

but as each and every word is said
and soaked within
the anger and hostility begins.

there are more sad than happy days in a week
and as many cuts that cover the body
enough that it hurts to live.

i was looking through me old composition books...the ones i used when i used to write a lot of poetry and such...and so it thought i should share some with you guys...i don't care you you don't like it or not, it doesn't really matter to me...lol its all old feelings...the past is the past and it should be kept there. here's one that i called "The Destroyer";

the pain is unbearable

So, I decided to use that Nair hair removal cream yesterday. I mean, every girl has facial hair, mind you it's usually blond, and unnoticable. But I didn't want it. Body hair bugs me. Everyone who knows me knows I shave every inch of my body except my head and my eyebrows, and well, a small area 'down there'. Anyway... I decided I was going to start making my face 100% hairless.

Bad idea.

I'm allergic to the cream.

Please allow her to concentrate
Just for five minutes please
Allow her to clear her mind of negative thoughts
Block out all things that remind her of me
Please allow her to concentrate
Focus on school and work
I'm sick and tired of seeing her hurt
Allow her to smile her beautiful smile
Let her graduate
She's had a rough year
And I don't want to be the reason
Why she comes back next year

Her eyes told me it may never be
As her lips closed my sentence
Saying he wasn't going to be there for her
My heart trips and falls as my ears think about this
'I would be there for you'
The voice dies in my throat -
now is not the time
Her tears are in my eyes
I cry for her
She doesn't understand, thinks she's done wrong
I feel my world evaporate