so I need to rant
don't want to whining/bitching/ "emoness" then stop reading NOW
you were warned. I also am a little tired of here "oh I'm so sorry" so if you pity me I'd really appreciate it if you didn't leave that on my blog. Hugs and comforting is different then pity.

so my mother confuses me beyond belief
I'm allowed to be gay
just not allowed to announce it or TELL anyone
BUT I'm allowed to bring female dates to family events
and dress how ever I want
But if I DO any of this
I'm embarrassing her and being "selfish"

Not that it matters I can have any guy in the city I want, but finding a G/F is next to impossible for me

bleh whatever

In other happier news, working my ASS off on a portfolio for a tattoo shop in town thats looking for an apprentice <3 wish me luck

So I've been gone a while
Dealing with life
which could be better but oh well
but between cleaning to tatu
and watching The L Word
it could be a hell of a lot worse lol

so tomorrow night I go to the gay bar
that should be fun
shaved my hair
feels much cooler

I really just want to come out of the closet all the way
but I can't
I'm scared
ugh
*head desk*

I'm going to go watch more L Word