[Long time no write, eh? Don't worry, I'm still alive. And still writing love poetry. Yeesh. It's kind of funny, I've never experienced anything remotely similar to what I wrote about in this poem, but here it is. I pretty much just wanted to use the word "translation" in a poem. No lie.]

Foreign beauty, your smiles need no translation.
Though your words dissolve to letters without

There is nothing but McLachlan’s Adia in my head right now. I am trying not to think about her - that girl I've gotten to know so ridiculously well. The truth is—funny how I invariably tell the truth to myself in writing, if nowhere else—that I saw a video on YouTube tonight, randomly, with two girls standing in a bluish dim room, looking at each other.

Man walks (glides—steps singing
softly beauty’s verse) and
in a second makes my all.
I see beyond the air,
a crown of stars around
his head and dawn
blooming in the heart,
while cosmos dapple
naked knuckles.
I don’t know this prince,
but I want to
be his kingdom.
His skin must feel
like
spring after winter.

I hate you every time you walk into my room
Because I think your going to yell at me as you did before
I hate you every time you stare
Because I think you're glaring as you did before
I hate you every time you cuss
Because I think you'll blow up as you did before
I hate you everytime you call my name
Because I think you'll blame me as you did before
I hate you when you get mad

I have a boyfriend :o

I think I've mentioned him before in my journal but that was probably back when we met in this nightclub like last year or whenever. Well anyway we like saw each other for awhile recently and then he told me he wanted to tell people I was his boyfriend, and I was like, well I don't see a problem with that lol. And there you have it.

My dreams find slumber in your vining arms,
And awaken through your eyes, that dawn gently.
Your musics, musing slowing through the air,
Fly in a clef beyond imagination—
In a heaven which God is yet to build.
You’re an impossible, made possible (made grace).
I’ve found that this belief (a truth) has grown
To live in my thoughts, too. I shine for you.

I did something really fucking crazy yesterday...I cut "LOVE" on my right leg....OxO

Then, a few hours later, I cut "NO" above it, although I'm not sure why I did that. And on Thursday, I reopened my scar from over a year ago.

I tried drawing something short of a star on my knee, but it didn't really work out...O.o;;

I was reading a post someone made a while ago and that reminded me / inspired me to tell my story of "recognition"(I guess you could call it that...).
This is going to be rather long-winded or I may leave out parts so it won't make sense... So if you read this and have any questions, just ask...

My History:

i wrote this a couple of months ago about some one who means everything to me although we aren't as close as we used to be and i don't see or speak to her much and just wanted to share it with people.

These Dark Waters
As I tread these dark waters once again, my mind in termoil, my heart breaks with the clouds over head and once again you appear.

What hand is it, encroaching fast
That steals my adoration locked
With keys constructed by the past
And circumstances seen and stocked?

That grips with fingers, warm with love
Around blood’s throbbing temple in
My chest constricting from a shove
Of heaven dancing on my skin

What eyes are they, that catch my stare
And blossom like the sky reborn?

it's amazing how now anyone can look back and say that "that's what started it all" lol. or something like that...for myself idk ask anyone that knew before i came out. they would've said that they'd imagine me marrying a guy and have the whole "2 or 3 kids and a house with a white picket fence" haha well maybe not that...but you know what i mean.

Dear...YOU,

blah...here i am again...an entry hog lol...sorrie...i'm just in the mood to write. well i've wrote these awhile ago but yeah...wanted to share, so this is ANOTHER lol...one of my poems...enjoy!

[Title]; Be Thankful
[Written]; October 13, 2005

as the pain in my heart
begins to throb
i wonder how god
could rob me of this peace
why is it so hard to deal with the pain

Sigh...today is the day we would've made 4 months....but instead it's the day that we make a month from our break up...blah...when i woke up this morning, it didn't hit me until i was washing dishes before leaving to go to the bus stop...it was like a...idk...but it was like BAM "it's been a month since she went out of my life"...

for once in my life, well im only 16, but i just want to be in a decent relationship. i say things like that all the time but when i find someone i turn them away. i dont know what my problem is and i just need someone to talk to and someone who will listen

[I've posted this before, but now I've spiffied it up quite a bit and wanted to share it in all of its revised glory. Plus, nata comments last time I posted! Jigga-what?]

This kiss will split the sky
The heavens retreating
From a holier domain
And dawn’s fierce chariot
Once invincible in flame
Will loiter in fright
From a magic
Brighter than the glare
That ensorcells its
Solar skin

So I did it again this weekend. I chickened out. I spent the weekend at her house again. I even took off work again yesterday to be with her longer. I can't believe this. I'm risking my job over a damn crush. No. Love. I can't get her out of my head. The way she lets me hold her when we're alone. Anyway. I was going to talk to her. Either that or I was just going to kiss her. I even started to ask her what she felt last weekend when I did kiss her. "Hey can I ask you somehting?" I said, speaking at a thousand km a second. "Last weekend at Teri's........Nevermind."

Her eyes told me it may never be
As her lips closed my sentence
Saying he wasn't going to be there for her
My heart trips and falls as my ears think about this
'I would be there for you'
The voice dies in my throat -
now is not the time
Her tears are in my eyes
I cry for her
She doesn't understand, thinks she's done wrong
I feel my world evaporate