Ok, so I feel kinda bad.

Where has my life gone?

I don't know about anyone else but I love writing longhand. In my room I have stacks of notebooks, napkins, loose paper, etc. full of snippets, observations, paragraphs, titles, plot-planning, everything.
And I love writing by hand because its a much wider window into emotion and then I transfer over.

I was watching this special about Whitney Houston on T.V. and she had gone to Israel with her husband, Bobby Brown, to partake in a ceremony honouring black Hebrews. Garbed in Israeli attire, she was getting ready to board the plane back to America and yelled, "I LOVE ISRAEL--IT'S MY LAND!"

Me: O_O *laughs fucking ass off*

I had a dream that I was friends with Mitch and Lass once again. We were sitting around Mitch's computer making jokes. Could it be an omen?

I feel so skint.
It's like, I feel like I'm standing at the precipice of a great mountain screaming to the top of my lungs...and all around me are people who are in my life, not even paying attention or listening to my screams.

I don't want my Oasis journal to be some emo podium. Haha. But, really, things happened with Mitch and Lass today that really set my skin afire. So Lass told me she was going to make my life miserable if I didn't take down that fucking LJ that I wrote.

love...what is love...an emotion evoked by the release of hormones in the brain and the rest of the nervous system? is it a feeling of ecstacy when one is deeply connected to another? is it both?

This weekend was the first practice of the school ultimate frisbee team/club. It was completely awesome. I forgot how much I like ultimate frisbee. It's one of the few sports I'm halfway decent at, and the people on the team are ridiculously wonderful, sweet, fun people. The only downside was that my shoulders, face and neck are sunburnt. Which hurts. But oh well.

*this entry has been deleted*

I've been listening to a millieu of music from various musicals of late. Mostly Gypsy and Les Miz. It entertains me, and Ethel Merman seems to counteract depression.

I'm not sure where this came from, but it's how I'm feeling tonight. It's not about anyone specific, just written to an impulse, a thought, I suppose.

The Masochist's Love Song

Use me, take what you want from me, then cast me away
Hurt me, tear me into pieces so I can finally let myself cry

I'll be whatever you want me to be
Any depraved creature of your twisted fancy

i dont know why life has to suck so much sometimes...
i hate having so much discrimination in the world..

a lot of times i wonder why am i this way? (why am i gay) an a lot of times i come with the conclusion that i was meant to be this way, and that i should be happy being like this..
but for some reason, i am happy at times but at others i feel so sad for being someone my family (well some of them) didn't want me to end up being..