Ok...so I've been lucky in my life. I've only ever met hostility about my sexuality MAYBE twice in my life. One of those times was when the parents of my BEST friend...best friends for almost 4 years...told met that I was forbidden to spend time with her in her room alone because I fell under the category of "boy". That was a slap in the face. I couldn't understand how these people who had known me for years, let me sleep over their house, eaten countless dinners with me, watched me and their daughter grow up together....treat me like that.

So, i'm "home", arrived a week ago. The house is a mess, just coming here to sleep.
I fell like the kid in the movies that goes to his dad's place on the weekends and his flat is shity. Only thing's that my parents are not splitting up, just live in different cities, which makes it more complicated, i guess.

Typical.
It's like, I rarely have had a better time with friends, and being myself without being part of a couple. I love the fact I have a name now - my own - Instead of being someones girlfriend. Or the other way around naturally.

So today I finally came out to my friend Chelsea. She moved away about a year and a half ago,but we've kept in touch. Even though we're really good friends there was always this tension because she liked me and I knew, but was too much of a coward to ever address the issue.

Drain my horrible pain it hurts me so, let full moons wrath let go. I am one with its wrath and together we shall cause my enemies pain and suffering, while half moons blight shall do almost the same. Nothing can escape my sight.

i wrote this when i was 12, so its a little raw and basic, but most people say its really good. that was back when i was still confused as to why i liked guys.

Okay, I wrote something earlier today, well, yesterday, but I felt the need to write again, so here I am.. It's, like, 2:40 in the morning now and I'm not supposed to be on the computer now, but who cares?

-Laughing gas, makes you giddy. I'm giddy. Ugh.

I am angry with myself for being such a bitch with regard to walking; that is pretty much the only battle between mom and I, and well the fact that I am just generally lazy about things.

My very best friend called me today in tears and rushed over to my house. her fiance had been cheating on her and had told her it was over. So I spent the better part of the last 4 hours comforting her and helping burn his love letters. On a completely different note, I just got a job at borders making coffee!

Should I call him on Monday after he's out of classes?

He's made the last two phone calls, albeit just to say hey. I feel like I need to make a move and call him because I feel like I'm losing him.

Right now i am pretty young, still a high school student. Just this school year I had told some of my friends that I was gay. The first was a friend who I considered a sister. We were pretty close since we lived next to each other for three years and knew almost everything about each other.

This time my entry's about Lass.

For the past few weeks I've been plagued by spontaneous dreams about Lass ever since our friendship entered its silent desert. This is the third time its had her and the second time its been ONLY her. And it seems like each dream connects to something I was going to confront her about in real-time.

Where has my life gone?

I had a dream that I was friends with Mitch and Lass once again. We were sitting around Mitch's computer making jokes. Could it be an omen?

I don't want my Oasis journal to be some emo podium. Haha. But, really, things happened with Mitch and Lass today that really set my skin afire. So Lass told me she was going to make my life miserable if I didn't take down that fucking LJ that I wrote.

so my friends are sitting in my bathtub.
they are makeing out and grunting and omg.
erin is wearing cheetah boxers ((shes hot!))
and amber is rubbing her all over,
i swear im about to have an orgasm!
i walked in a minute ago and i swear there were some dancing fingers.
oh my ghaa!!!!
they are so hot!
i will post pictures of the two and of them kissing later!
byeeee!
-hayden.

It’s late so I’ll try to make it simple, despite my thinking tendencies.

I’m obviously attracted to one of my guy friends but I know for a fact that he’s not attracted to me. I’ve found this out through several obvious methods that involve communication not only with him, but others.

Well I finally did it, I finally came out to Josh. After all the attempts to talk to him alone I finally got my chance yesterday. Out of the three people I've told, he was by far the most understanding and accepting.

Yesterday was the day Josh and I were going to hang out, which is cool because we haven't seen each other in awhile. It was also the day I planned to come ou to Josh and cross another name off my list. I also had another motive in coming out to josh though.