Just got back from a foam party. Crazy shit man. I've never had so many weird things happen in one night.

First thing. So my ex was there. He wants to make me jealous because I dumped him after I knew he cheated. I know this because for a whole year he kept 'trying' to crash the parties I'm at just to do that. I know, how petty.

I went on a 'date' with Dan, the guy from my english class. I also went on a date with Tony the day after. But I never really wanted anything serious. I just wanted to have fun.

It's the holidays, and I haven't been able to for a while. I go through such extremes in my life. Before the break I was studying my ass off. I didn't party. I didn't drink. I didn't want attachment, relationship, boys, whatever.

Had a lil reunion tonight with some friends and my favourite english teacher.

JK came back from melbourne to visit, so that was awesome too.

And have a date on Tuesday. It'll Probably make me less bored (I actually have so much to do this holiday though).

The debate was win!

I just got invited by my university's debating society to do an impromptu and comedic debate in front of possibly 600 of its members. They wanted a first year to be part of it, and they said I was the 'ideal' person lol

I SAID YES. GOD I'M SO WORRIED LOL.

I feel satisfied right now. I feel purposeful, or at least a bit relaxed knowing I've done a good proportion of my reading and my assignment. My mentor/tutor at university was impressed with my draft, so I'm hoping it's going to get a good mark. Of course, there's still a lot to read - I did five hours of reading before (law and engish) - I just got home.

Just finished writing my philosophy assignment.... trying to squeeze it under the word limit! DAMNIT!

It's epic though. I hope I get a good grade

Debating was okay. There were three rounds. I got through to the second. Not surprisingly, the qualified teams were all the executives. And I lied, it was three minutes prep (extreme impromptu) and six minute speeches (not five minutes prep). The first topic was about lifting the ban on international whaling - my team was affirming. The second was about reinstating the youth minimum wage - again affirming. It was pretty intense. And yes everyone was hard core high level law students besides like six of us.

The guy-I-like hugged me from behind today. Like snuck up behind me and put-his-arms-around-my-neck-leaning-on-me kind of hug. It was nice. But I'm trying to set him up with this girl friend of mine. Yes he's straight.

I realise Macintosh computers have nicer webcams. Somehow they make my face look photoshopped.

I really need to get my drivers licence.

Just had our first university debate.

We lost. We were affirming.

It was impromptu twenty minutes preparation, which was awesome. Eight minute speeches each. Except we had this new guy who thought he knew everything - simply because he's a fourth year law student - but all he did was ramble and didn't structure his argument at all. He screwed us over pretty much. We won the principle side of the debate, but not the practical side because he couldn't even outline a model.

Lol I love debating. I totally ripped this guy in my philosophy class to pieces (metaphorically...). He was an acquaintance though (now friend-on-facebook), but I just found his views very 'flawed' (we were having a discussion about our ethics assignment - so no I wasn't ripping into him for no reason) . He's writing his assignment supporting Bentham's Utlitarianism - and he's willing to sacrifice an individual for the 'greater' good of the majority. Of course we can already think of problems with that. I basically obliterated his argument... now he doesn't know what to write lol.

So I came second in the running for first year rep for the debating society at the top university in New Zealand. It does suck, but I'm going to have to accept it. I don't like it when people come up to me and say "nah I heard they had *insert winning's girls name* in a bag - you should've won" - because frankly I don't know if a) that is true and b) I didn't win so it just annoys me more. I do know most of the executives though and most came up and congratulated me anyway. Some voted for me, and another exec said I was "very close".

It's different because it was my last year.

I'm still annoyed I didn't volunteer for student rep for my philosophy lecture. One of the girls totally sucks at pubicly speaking and doesn't deserve it. It ruins a lot of my chances of meeting new people. But I mean, student rep isn't that important anyway. It just looks good on a CV, I'm going to keep telling me that. I"m still very annoyed.

Talking to BW, the boy who 'reminded me of myself' a while back. He's a year younger than me and still at the high school I graduated from.

He tells me how he was thinking about me the other day and how he's taken my spot as the 'gay year 13 who drinks a lot' lol. But of course he admitted he couldn't really live up to me. Probably in the drinking respect.

Reading textbooks is like taking a knife to your imagination.

The words crawl on the page like insects, until they chew your brain out. Reading about the history of New Zealand isn't boring, but it also isn't very engaging. I feel more knowledgeable, but I do not feel better empowered to synthesise with my mind. Utilitarianism in philosophy class is interesting, it's applicable, but they are still bound by rules, they are normative theories to be applied - in a almost fixed and logical way.

So, Saturday night, and I'm doing nothing. Except listening to Leona Lewis and feeling annoyed.

I'm supposed to be at this party tonight. But because I was out having dinner so my friend couldn't pick me up. The dinner tasted like shit. But only because my mind was somewhere else. It was too spicy anyway. It was a fucking buffet. It costed bloody twenty dollars. A stupid moth flew into the soup too. Fucking dinner.

And fucking J. He can never answer a question properly. I hate his passive aggression. It was the reason tonight was all messed up.

So, after the first official day at university I've come to the conclusion university guys are not very good looking. There are some really gorgeous ones, but a lot don't even seem to take pride in their appearance. I guess I'm being too harsh... I am a guy at the university too. It just disappointed me a little. I didn't sign up for the gay club today because the guy sitting there was... urgh.

So tomorrow is when university officially begins. I'm going to Auckland Univeristy. I didn't end up applying for American universities, my parents just doesn't have that kind of money and there was no guarantee I'd get in anyway. I still think about it a little bit though.

I'm doing a conjoint degree. My first degree is a law degree, and my second one is an arts degree. I'm majoring in politcs and ethics for my arts degree, but that might change. My first lecture tomorow is law and society, then I have introduction to ethics. All these courses make me sound too old before I am wise.

Degree: Law and arts.

Bye-bye maths and science.

I feel very sad right now. It's like saying goodbye to a big part of me. I hope this is the right choice. I don't think anyone understands though.