Apologies if this turns into my life story….

so latley i feel like im not part of the family well actually my whole life. i feel as if im the odd one out. i cant talk to my mom or dad they just mock me if i try to talk to them about anything serious. the only person i can turn to is my aunt, i cant tell her everything thing since she will probably go and tell my mom. i just wish i was able to start a new life away from them all. i mean I'll miss them i guess since i've been with them my whole life but i dont want to be some where im not loved and somewhere where everyone is ashamed of me.

I just joined this site, so I'm not really sure how things work around here, but I suppose a nice little situation synopsis would be a decent way to start. I'm heading off to boarding school in a couple months. It's a very nice school, relatively liberal, and the people are insanely friendly. My main worry is how to approach my sexuality. I'm lesbian,

So here is a quick question Oasis, since coming out is a big issue on this lovely site I was wondering if it mattered whether or not you had stuck a specific label on yourself before telling people your secrets. Like for me, I am pretty sure I'm not going to start liking guys anymore than I do right now, which isn't very much, but I am afraid if I come out as a lesbian no one would understand if I ended up liking a guy in the future.

Oh god, I'm really fuckin' confused with this.

I am ghey. FO DIZZLE! And that's the way that I like it!

but recently, I've found myself really falling for a boy that I know, and i definitely know that he really likes me back. But all i can think is.. What the fuck's going on???

Now I'm back to square one of doubting my sexuality. -_-"

Is this normal? Like, has anyone else found one person that they'd turn straight for?

Okay, it's not a ballad. I just liked the title. I don't usually do this here, but my family reads my blog at times, and I'm trying to fool them into thinking I'm getting over Jon. If you're feeling prone to depression right now, I'd skip this post. It's pretty bleak throughout. I needed a place to put it all though, so here it is.

I'm confused tonight. I've sorta always known that I wasn't quite normal sexuality-wise, and I've been fine with that. I'm pretty sure that my family is accepting and as far as I know, none of them have any issues about sexuality. So, I always thought that coming out would be easy for me. I chose tonight, just cuz I think that'd be a good idea, and my best friend just came out to her parents.

So guess what, guys? I think I might have lost my mind.
This is my first time posting here, so sorry that it has to be ranting, but... Whatcha gonna do?

So I know I like women. Some women. Haven't met one right one yet, or anything. I don't even like stereotypical beauty, but I have liked women for a long, long time.

You know. Every second of my life it seems like I can't develop more. Back in 4th grade - I thought that puberty was a bunch of bullshit - that all that happens is that you get bigger and grow hair.

Boy was I wrong! I turned out to be attracted to males. I wasn't consciously aware that I was a fag - but that came a year later.

These days I feel I fit the literary/social stereotype of the teenage gay boy. The kind of kid who's the subject of some 'young adult' novel, titled 'Not Like Other Boys' or some such nonsense. I'm intelligent, over-dramatic, struggling with inner demons and fond of Judy Garland. Oy. And, to boot, drooling over a gorgeous hunk of man in my drama class.

My life is going crazy... My sister is having a baby in as little as 2 weeks or as much as 6 weeks. I'm so freaking excited about that! My stepdad is a homophobic racist alcoholic and I hate him with a fiery passion from hell. My nephew (from my OTHER sister) is 4 and a half years old and my mom might be adopting him... He's crazy.

So.. Friday I slept over at Soras place. Which I haven't done for a while. Was fun... I came out to her brother who apparently hasn't heard yet. He was looking at this wrestling stuff and he's asking me if I think those guys are hot at all and I'm all "eww" (Well, they were all overly-buffed and in speedos.

I hate you every time you walk into my room
Because I think your going to yell at me as you did before
I hate you every time you stare
Because I think you're glaring as you did before
I hate you every time you cuss
Because I think you'll blow up as you did before
I hate you everytime you call my name
Because I think you'll blame me as you did before
I hate you when you get mad

I have a job interview on Monday after school...My first ever. God, I am soooo scared...so nervous. I hope I don't fuck up on something. *Shudders* On the other hand, I really hope I get the job (I need to make money somehow, I'm sick of having to ask my parents for money all the time.) I hope it goes good. XD There's always a first for everything, right.

I am watching Wedding Wars Monday night, as well. :)