this is what happens when you give me too much caffeine and a head full of thoughts about a pretty girl. this is honestly not about anyone in particular, i'm just bored and need to go to bed.
i'm sitting here in my room.
it feels like the tears are still flowing.
that my face is still sticky with my eyes' precipitation.
“One more minute of this and I’m gonna explode!” I thought as I sat in the counselor office at my prestigious, community college. They weren’t accepting any appointments, and I needed to see a counselor, therefore my only option was to wait endlessly. It had been three hours of worthless waiting.
I think I'll call this one: The Dog that Brought Monogamy
By: The Armadillo at Oasismag.com
Note: I wrote this one just a few minutes ago and I didn't really evaluate it yet. Just bare with me here and enjoy if you want. I'll keep writing if I get positive feedback, or if I get bored. Whichever comes first.
Okay, so after having writers block for a week or so here is chapter two (chapter 1 is here: http://www.oasismag.com/2006/12/expectations-chapter-1-new-story ) I completely changed the plot so now my plot is based on what I want the characters to do at the moment I write it, which is bad, but I like it. Thanks to the people who gave me advice before, hopefully I used it in this chapter.
With the Overseer
hey...well i stumbled onto a site called fictionpress.com and it's really neat, they have poems and stories....really cool. i just finished reading a story called "Why I Don't Like Math" and it was good...well i thought it was good haha. so yeah just wanted ta let ya guys in on the site and go check it out...pretty neat.
it's amazing how now anyone can look back and say that "that's what started it all" lol. or something like that...for myself idk ask anyone that knew before i came out. they would've said that they'd imagine me marrying a guy and have the whole "2 or 3 kids and a house with a white picket fence" haha well maybe not that...but you know what i mean.
[ Note --- This is my unfinished "coming out" story. I am still working on it, but I need some suggestions and critiques. Tell me what you think of it so far ]
Names are changed for privacy of those mentioned.
Constructive criticizm would be awesome. Thanks. I dont know how to do the italic thing on a website so when it sounds like its in first person its the main character talking in her head and when it sounds like its in third person its the narrarator. Sorry that its confusing.
CHAPTER 1: First there was cold EXPECTATIONS
Most nights, Mark and I slept on the beach. It was too hot indoors, but the wind that came off the water made the beaches cool and comfortable. No one else was ever around to bother us. Our families never came looking. Mark’s mother was always drunk, or in bed with some guy, or both, and my parents thought my disappearances were Heaven-sent.
Most of the forum topics seem to be so serious lately so I thought I would post something to try and lift the mood. It is the holiday season after all guys! =]
The Schitt Story
For sometime many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an in intellectual way.
This week has been shit....Absolute shit (exclude the job interview I went for on Wednesday). I really like my P.E. (she doesn't teach me the class this year, but it's easier saying that, so I'll just pretend that she is, cuz she taught me last year) teacher....so then I finally told my counsellor yesterday, and then she said, "You and I both know that you'll get hurt, if you try to act on it."....after that, she told me that it could only be a fantasy, and that's all it'd ever be. She's right....Ms. Slackson (my nick for her) wouldn't jepoardize her job. She wouldn't jepoardize being hauled off to jail. And, I know that deep down, but it still hurts to hear my counsellor say that. It hurts, knowing that it will never be. I won't ever be able to go up to her in the hall (or wherever) and just hug her...I won't be able to get close to her (in a non-sexual way). I almost started crying...I don't know why I didn't. And that's not even the worst of it. Just last night, a friend of mine signed on, and she asked me why I had a crush (her word, not mine) on Ms. Slackson. *She actually used the real name, but, for personal safety's sake, I'm not going to say it.* She also said it was gross....I was like, "Huh? What? What are you on about??" Wondering if I had really been that obvious. Then, she told me about the story I wrote....similar to my fantasy/dream. She said, "I know you wrote it." Then she told me she knew it was the teacher, because of the description I'd put in the story. My friend told me, "Look, I don't mind that you're gay, but we [her other friend as well] get a little weirded out." Then she proceeded to explain why, that I embarrass them, by...By being fucking prideful. For FUCK'S sake....It's not like I pushed you up a wall, and tried to make out with you! Why is it such an annoyance that I'm different/that I think girls are hotter than guys? Why!?
I played HORRIBLE today at my basketball game. Not like a couple of mistakes but every play I pretty much fucked it up. Total playing time: 4 minutes, I was that bad. I feel bad for my family they were trying to cheer me up and I treated them badly. I'll have to say sorry to them tomorrow.Oh well hopefully I'll NEVER play that bad again. I'll just call it an off day.
Good news in my life right now: Im going to NYC in 2 days and am going to see rent and do some christmas shopping.
I have a job interview on Monday after school...My first ever. God, I am soooo scared...so nervous. I hope I don't fuck up on something. *Shudders* On the other hand, I really hope I get the job (I need to make money somehow, I'm sick of having to ask my parents for money all the time.) I hope it goes good. XD There's always a first for everything, right.
I am watching Wedding Wars Monday night, as well. :)
if you could tell me what you think that would be amazing
“When did life get so fucked up? Why do people treat me like shit? Why do people treat her like shit? We are human beings. Why can’t our parents just leave us alone? Why can’t they just leave us alone?” That was the beginning of my journal entry on November 28, 2006. I was sick of life. I was a junior in high school and I was going insane. My best friend and I were going through the hardest time in our lives. We were in love. But her parents wouldn’t let us do anything. My parents wouldn’t let us do anything. We were stuck in a homophobic world and we couldn’t escape. Lesley was all I had. Every time I saw her I felt like there was a reason to live. So if our parents stopped us…was there a reason to live?
It was a night like any other, as most people say it, but yet it still felt so different to have a person with you, after years if feeling alone. After years of searching, and thinking what wrong with me. I stood in the doorway observing those eyes, looking at that smile, and taking in the feeling of being loved. Even though, it was not to the extent that I wanted it to be; I still felt loved. I sat down on the edge of the bed, taking in the room of the person I like, and seeing their personality in the room. They sat down next to me and asked if I wanted anything; I said no. We start to talk about random stuff like; what we plan on doing tomorrow, or how we couldn’t believe my parents let me spend the night, when they reach across; caressed my face and said yeah I don’t think I could stand them saying no again. I tensed as they moved in to kiss me. When they moved back, all I could do was look into those pale blue eyes, in fear, because their mom was standing at the door.
I can't stand the way people look at me like i'm diffrent i mean i
use to be friends with this girl and i told her i was gay and now
she won't evenpass me in the same hallway which makes me feel really
bad like i did something wrong.Is it just me, like i always wondered
and hated myself sometimes why people have to be so mean and cruel.
The other day i went to the football game down here in marine city
this is a story im writing about a girl who discovers that she's a pyro. im not quite finished with chapter three, but i'll put it in here anyway. here ya go:
First thing's first: I can do things that no one else can. Everyone clear on that? Good! Moving on......What? Yeah, yeah, I know, I should elaborate and blah blah blah. Can't we just skip all these explanations? No? Ugh. Okay, fine. It all started like this......
It all started when...
I stared at those four words. It was all I'd written on the mainly blank page after about fifteen minutes. Those four innocent words; how much weight they could hold. How many times had those words been said? How many emotions had been present when those words were uttered?
Excitement: "It all started when I found the letter in the mail!"
Fear: "It all started when I decided to walk home alone from the movies."
In the movies, there's always some sort of heroic background music when the protagonist saves the day, harrowing violins, doom-filled pianos, something to keep the audience's interest as they're watching someone getting the crap beaten out of them. Who would want to hear the thuds, the smacks, the crunches, the grunts and groans of a real fight?
All I could hear was our breathing; his, hers, and mine. It melded together in the tiny locker room, a cacophany of panting and huffing. My lungs were on fire, I could barely breathe after he gave me that sucker punch to the chest. His eyes were wild and feral as he glared at me, dukes up like in the old days. I halfway expected him to spew some sort of noir phrase at me as we circled each other. But we both remained silent. Every couple seconds I glanced out the corner of my eye to make sure she was all right; she was still backed up in the corner, her skin nearly white against the midnight blue of the lockers.