Has you ever thought...so this is life...this is it. I wish I actually had a thirst for life instead of this indifferent numbness. I hate it. I hate not wanting to wake up in the morning. Or taking the energy to pick up the phone and call someone. I hate that I know I am a loser and all my friends are losers. I hate highschool. I hate that Alex is straight. I hate that Joi is not. I hate how the only person I can say no to is my sister.