Has you ever thought...so this is life...this is it. I wish I actually had a thirst for life instead of this indifferent numbness. I hate it. I hate not wanting to wake up in the morning. Or taking the energy to pick up the phone and call someone. I hate that I know I am a loser and all my friends are losers. I hate highschool. I hate that Alex is straight. I hate that Joi is not. I hate how the only person I can say no to is my sister.

Higher education disappoints me.
I pay you. You teach me.
I don't pay you to brainwash me.

Now, I've had my problems with classes before. Calculus theories. Art
critics. Ecetera. But this is like the last straw.

So, tonight in General Psychology, the professor says babies say "dada" sooner then "mama", because it's easier to say. Whoop-de-freaking-do, you might say. Well this is the exact opposite of what I'm told in Human Growth and Development. But it doesn't stop there. I got back the 2nd test today. A good number of the questions would have been correct had we been in the Human Growth and Development class. This is the drawing point. Two classes, same material. I shouldn't have to remember two sets of answers and to which class they belong. Nnn.

has anyone else heard of the boyscout amendment?

A. My friends are assholes.I have noone to talk to,so I'm ranting about life here.They are lazy.They're there when everything's normal and I can help them.The second I need someone everyone seems to have runaway...Screw 'em....
B.My best friend won't talk to me.Something major went on and she won't even talk to me at all...whatever...
C.My family is stupid.My mom yells at me and says I always side with my dad,which I don't.I think they're both to blame for the divorce.But she always says I blame her.That is some of the stupidest bullshit I've ever heard.And my mom and little brother are still constantly arguing like 3 year olds.Its embarassing to go out with them,its crazy.You'd think my own mother would grow up and shut up.

Hey I know this is for like non-straight people
but I am here and I totally support you guys
because there's nothing wrong with it I think
its realli awesome especially the ones who like
have the guts the tell people I give them
props !!!!!!

I have a problem. I am 17 years old and my girl is almost 20.
I have two more mopths until I turn 18 and
our families dont like us together. We have snuck around for 2 years
but things are crazy.
I love her more than life itself. What can I do? I freaked out b/c I heard
she was cheating on me so I dumped her. The stress of things are just
getting to me. nothing seems to be going right.

Gah!! Sometimes I feel so stupid!! I have an essay due tomorrow for literature: 2000 words, maybe 6-8 pages, so it's really not too huge of a deal. But I was a dumb-ass and decided to procrastinate and put it off as much as possible. Even now, as I sit here watching the clock tick away I'm having trouble motivating myself to do it. I just don't want to. :-P Don't get me wrong, it's gonna get done, but why couldn't I have been smart and started on it awhile ago...done a little bit at a time, that kinda thing. Arrgh!!

So I slept the evening away, from 6 PM, the moment I got home from work, til about an hour ago, and now I'm wide awake, I've got hours to burn before work and nothing to really do with 'em except this. So how the fuck are ya?

While I slept, the Twins (onomotopia alert) thwacked the Bitch Sox 10-2, with another dominating performance by this year's soon-to-be Cy Young award winner, Johan Santana. People of Chicago, TeeAhr regrets to inform you that the pennant race is over. Again. Send professionals next year. Fall is such a beautiful time in Minnesota, innit?

I know a girl who's 13 and pregnant. said girl is afraid to tell her parents, because she thinks they find some way to blame it all on her unborn child's father. I know another girl who was stocked by a gang member and who 's next-door-neighbor is a huge drug user. I live in midwestern suburbia how does this work? and there's me. an over opianated bi girl who hates everyone. as above lovely, no?

(1) allowing homosexual relationships or even marriage is not going to be the downfall of this country. unless i am much mistaken, ancient greece and rome are regarded as the foundation of western society, and have been greatly admired long past their downfall--even inspiring the government we have today that the u.s. considers so dear--democracy! :cough: homosexuality was exceedingly common in greece and rome. even socially accepted.

warning: foul language ahead... hopefully it won't distract from the point too much...



i had forgotted for a while just how much this whole gay marriage issue pisses me off. i don't understand, can't understand, i'm trying to understand, what makes people so goddamned convinced that marriage has to be between one man and one woman. fuck the bible, we're talking about poltical rights--like life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. like, seperate is not equal. we're talking about human beings, committed relationships, and the right of everyone to a private life not interfered with by someone else's religion.

I swear i think i might explode today ......she comes to me and starts yelling blah blah apparently im lazy and im a horrible daughter....ok youve told me that mom an then she continues to complain about my "supposed confusion" i.e. me being gay....i dont think she likes it...phhhhh Help me.....I cant take her anymore , I need to move out or something the woman is ridiculous...she said " i know what youre thinking......" and gave me a hurt angry stare what am i supposed to do be straight get a bf??? i dont want a fucking bf......boys suck ass.....i need to fuck up so shell leave me alone.......

There's no GLBT group at my school. If my friends and I made one, I can pretty much guarantee that no one would come except for the very very very few of us (myfriends and I) because my town is so god damn 'traditional'. Not only would no one come, but we'd get harassed even more during school. But I'm dying to have a group here. Grrr. I'm so mad!! I really can't stand people sometimes. I j

i didn't want to title another entry "..." so i gave it that title. haha. funny. or at least it would be if it weren't 1:23 am and if i didn't have the things one my mind that i do have on my mind.

basically, it's my sister. i used to understand her. now i don't. it scares me, cuz i think that if anyone should be able to understand her, it's me. i've known her longer than anyone except maybe mom and dad. and i have no clue what goes on inside her head. i'm sure what she tells me is just the tip of the iceberg. and i'm scared. both for her and of her. if that makes sense. and if it doesn't, fuck it cuz i'm tired of trying to explain my thoughts. all it does is get me confused and make others even more confused.

Hi, I'm Holly. Im really new to this site and I was wondering if anyone would be willing to help me out. please? Well, I'm not quite sure what else to say.....so, Have a good day!
<3HOLLY

Today was a pretty crappy day. I had to take a three hour practice SAT test for this SAT prep class I'm in. God I hate this whole preparing for college shit. I don't really care anymore. I know I can get accepted to most of the cal states. Yet I know if I do better on the SAT i could possibly get into UC santa cruz, which is where I really want to go. Anyways I then had to go to my dad's house to feed his cats (he's out of town) and I spent forever in traffic. I really hate L.A. sometimes. When I finally got home my sister was over being a pissy little shit...hormonal. She started ranting about how she never wants me to talk about any gay stuff and how I am revolting, etc... The wierd thing is I never talk about it with her. All I did was mention queer as folk (I bought the first season lon ebay and I am addicted!!). Well I never know what is going to set her off. Everything pisses Jen off. And you don't want to see the wrath of Jen! I hate it when someone's bad mood can be so contageous. Yeah I know I am being a bit hypocritical considering I am ranting about my shitty day. Oh and I am still truamatized from last night when I walked in on my mother...oh nevermind.

“ once I saw somebody who looked just like you
and walked like you do,
I thought it was you…

Just sitting around and wondering how the day got away from me
All the noise of my family is driving me nuts
Having eight of my siblings here and the other 4 in different places is nuts
These kids can drive me crazy so know I left to just get away
So much at home needs to be gone since I am moving out
Going to college is just a big jump that I am worried if I am prepared for
Can I handle the stress then I think about my family life

I guess this is my first entry, so here goes. I live in a little hick town outside of Seattle: 45 minutes away, 60 years behind. It really does seem that way. Everytime Seattle or Washington moves forward in time, Monroe moves back. Today, for example, I saw on the news that, if the supreme court approves the judge's ruling, gay marriage will become legal in King County (greater Seattle area). Filled with joy over said proclimation, I headed after work to the library to get some good reading in.

I just got off the fone w/ my bf of 6 months and i still wonder what i did to deserve such a loving wonderful guy... i sometimes ask why he's with me or why he loves me because it just seems that theres always someone better... and prettier.. not to mention my mdium to low self esteem... i think im pretty and all but not wow 'em sexy and my bf's just flat out HOTT...lol...

Anyways.. the past few months with him have been the best months of my short life and i know that this romance will last forever.. ive never been with anyone like him before... i admit that ive been in love twice before.. once with my gf of a year and once i accidently fell for a fuck buddy.. (lmao)... my gf and my relationship lasted a while before i couldnt take it anymore with how bad she treated me (most of the time she ignored me or had something or sometimes someONE better to do)but with him i feel soo good.. he just fuckin makes it worth living cuz honestly if it werent for him, i probably wouldnt be alive today...