I’m Gay

starting out on the road
helpless: but not alone,
two loving strangers
looking upon creation

hopes and dreams of
careless parents.
A lovely wife,
the terror of children

The teenage years...
A terror.

then the cute boy in german class.
My own terror...
"A boy?"

"A boy?"
"A boy?"
"A boy?"
"A boy!"

"Mom, I'm gay"

Starting out on the road
alone but not so helpless

Jonathan D. Oswald
January 2009
--------------------------------------------------------------

Kissing Is A Habit
Fucking Is A Game
Guys Get All The Pleasure
Girls Get All The Pain
The Guy Says He loves You
And You Believe Its True
But When Your Tummy Starts To Swell
He Says To Hell With You
10 Minutes Of Pleasure
9 Months Of Pain
3 Days In The Hospital
A Baby Without A Name The Baby Is A Bastard
The Mother Is A Whore
This Woulda Never Happend If The Rubber Hadn't Tore!!

Sex is like math
You subtract the clothes
Add the bed
Divide the legs
And Pray to god
You dont multiply

Roses are red
Grass is green
Open your legs
And I'll fill you with cream

Free will

No Thrill

Since when did I care?

Beat me

I'm free

The pain feels so good.

I want

your lash

make me scream and cry.

make me

your slave

c'mon and make me die.

Hurt me,

crush me,

burn me with your cigarette,

fuck me,

bite me,

make me be your little pet.

I am

waiting,

for your lovely knives.

Cut me,

slash me,

I give you my tithes.

lemons,

leather,

tie me to the chair.

beat me,

mercy,

Damn, it's only fair.

Until,

at least,

tonight ends again.

And I

Get up,

and whip you, my friend.

M friends, I am rejoiced; You are glad
I am a believer in that small portion-
Oh my honourable friend! Should
You
Either persecute to some purpose or
He would rather be sent to the King

The fact damages the rule, but not issues of law
The fourth exhortation shall be-
Oh ye immortal Gods, where-
Then the fifth, the fifth
Shall we dwell no longer
We shall not rest on the seventh

Protest oh protest less!
Powder penal ingnite might this time be right!
He a different man; Young merchant, no, housebuilder no
Different than woman that refuse
To sew buttons and cook dinners

Us smokers you despise,
ridicule and cry,
we foul the air,
smell up your hair,
and bring a tear to the eye!

There's one who's worse by far
they do it in the car!
They do it here,
they do it there,
they do it most anywhere!

Its deadly and by far,
the worse to do in the car,
It chokes and brings,
a tear and stings,
It cause most alarm!

So take these words in parting
and to the heart most heartening.
Of who do I speak?
Its you...you freak!
I'm speaking of your farting!!!

I Stop I drop I roll

And still I want to know

Why can't I see your face

Why can't I feel your grace

I want to believe in you

and yet I cannot do

the things you ask of me

I do not think I see

I feel so lonely now

I cannot see the sun

This ever-lasting

bleakness that overrides the moon

It seeps into my skin

It reflects to me my sin

I want to see your face

I want to see your grace

I'm lost and cannot see

these chains are binding me

I wait to be set free

and yet I will not be

I wish to know you're there

but I can't be unfair

A Happy Grave

The grace of a pulsing migraine on the Sabbath
Bible-clutching, moral-searching
Heads down, hands pointed to the sky
With bloody hands and a fishy smell

Prayers muttered under alcoholic breath
Grin or a grimace
Sparkling white teeth crooked and gold-filled
Never enough coins to put in the offering bag

Children blessed with sterile truths
Distilled and too perfect like a well done sum
Brain a rotten heap baking in the sun
Redeemed by their tribe, glowing on their little pedestal

Spit in the wine and water, swords crossed at the heart

soothe thy inner flame
it burns thy soul and body
not known is it though

in the name of both
the god and three-fold goddess
may this be true love

in apothicare
our eyes meet over monkshood
and our hands both touch

as we both reach for
the same parcel of vervain
we become entranced

his eyes bewitch me
rings of purest, clearest blue
his soul on display

skin of cream-soaked silk
pale as moonlight on the sea
smooth as quicksilver

as i ask his name
i scrounge for a parchment sheet
found i scrawl contacts

the next day i see
a number and 'unknown call'

the gods cast forth a boy named josh, with hair and skin of gold/ to know him is paridise, his love?

God came to me in a dream and said,
“Hey Greg, have you ever realized
that only crazy people are blessed with visions of me?”

I said, “Why, yes God, that is true, if only for the fact
That the people you choose to contact fail to realize that
Your presence is but a dream.” I said as several pink
flamingos flew by my head.

God expressed a great, booming laugh, “That is why I have come
to you, my child. I wish for you to partake in everyday deeds and relish in
the triviality of it.”

I pondered aloud, “God told me to buy some groceries.”

I felt good for most of the day, which was strange, because I'm usually very depressed on my birthday. The depression has kicked in in the last few hours, though, so I wrote this poem. God knows why I write such nostalgic, regretful, worn out words, like I'm dying or something, when I have such a bright future ahead of me.

Broken

i broke the pot yesterday;
it was an accident.

i left it lying so precariously
on a skinny shoulder of shelf,
much too close to where my hands
weave over the kitchen sink.

i scrubbed the children’s dishes
so hard i bled.
they always cake up

Maybe the
W
O R
L D
Would be
b
e
t
t
e
r
Without
M
E,
But I'd much
R A T H E R
Be here to
Mess it up.

That one was kinda random.

Jason saw Jesse at the first day of school
Jesse was cool and Jason a fool
I don't care how, I want to be with you now
Jason thought

Jason can't drive and alone he bused
Speeding alongside Jesse's car passed
I don't care how, I want to be with you now
Jason thought

Jason likes music and drama
Jesse played rugby from afar
I don't care how, I want to be with you now
Jason thought

Many times Jason said hi
Jesse rushed by with no reply
I don't care how, I want to be with you now
Jason thought

For an hour Jason did his hair
Jesse simply didn't care

The city sleeps
With the eerie moonlit night
In the lurking shadow something creeps

When our dreams take flight in the eerie night
Crazily serene, unnaturally at peace
Our grace has fallen to such great heights

Hark! Cease
What is that?
Tell me please

Gentlemen awake to put on their hats
Awoken from their dandelion dreams
Of barren but beautiful babes; they chat

About ages past it seems
Not of the present but what has yet to come
Has an obscene exposure held in unglorious esteem

Coats in one hand, the other clutching the rum
Ages past it seems to last

Once upon a time
There was a young boy
He lived in a humble village
Her mother named him Roy

While other boys punted and grunted
Roy loved to cook
Mother found it peculiar
And gave him a disapproving look

Food was love and escape
Channeled his mind, heart and soul
No one understood
That it was the effort that could make someone whole

But no one likes Roy
Cool kids thought him a fool
He fancied himself enough
To not care about being a tool

Whatever Mother said
Roy did as he was told
He even went to church on Sundays
Where people gave pieces of gold

Caffeine is
Free coffee and gossip at a friend's cafe

Caffeine is
Heart thumping, head aching because of heart aching, head thumping

Caffeine is
Late nights and sleepless hours with a table light

Caffeine is
Early mornings less boring

Caffeine is
Cheap and easy and addictive and wrong

Caffeine is
Calm and crazy, soothing and surprising

Caffeine is
Chocolate because you deserved it

Caffeine is
Energy drinks and empty stomachs

Caffeine is
Five tablespoonfuls of regret in a cup

Caffeine is

Are you with me, are you not?

Will you leave me here to rot?

When the bright sun goes away

all the vampies come to play.

The everygod fills up my room

which I think is now my tomb.

Can your brother come to play,

Will your father learn to pay?

Through the fields of Reisling Wine,

Life's a ring, so take your time.

lick the pole your tongue is stuck

tell the president she sucks

show the world you are a schmuck

if u aren't feeling the burn

cry as you watch the world turn

listen to the burning fern

if u say that it's ur turn

get ready for the gurney.

see the picture black and blue

see how i am also bruised

watch the bastard take a cruise

and get ready for the gurney.

with your fingers in my ass

no thank u i think ill pass

poetic justice- take the class

as you get ready for the gurney.

This is the only way of truly expressing...the story of meeting That Person...and then losing them because they were already someone else's.....
__________________________________________________________
I hear your crying,
your tears crash with mighty howls.
My heart is seizing and tearing at itself.
It screams its lament
of love so easily given and taken.
My memories well within my eyes,
replicas of the tears you shed,
the ones I hear from behind this locked door.
Your fingers,
so sure of their intent,
searching for my stable hand.
Your head resting upon my chest,

This is about Bre
__________________________________________________________
The sun is so bright,
my eyes are straining.
Your eyes are so wonderful.
Stare at me longer.
The breeze is so soft,
It's teasing the whisps of hair
around your solid face.
You're so kind,
how could I not have seen it?
Smiles exchange.
My life is changing
and I've lost my sweet control.
Your face holds a curious gaze.
I look behind you.
She's holding your hand,
holding your heart.
The sun is too bright,
my eyes are closing.
The wind is whipping,
pulling my security with it.
She's not yours!