Ok,so I only made a journal entry yesterday,and I was moaning and being fairly miserable,as I wallowed in
my own self loathing,but I'm actually feeling better today,so I figured that I would make a journal entry
while I actually feel kind off good.As I think nearly every entry I make is me rambling on about how I'm
miserable.
Yesterday I was moaning about not wanting to go to a party because I wanted to stay home alone and just be

I have a question: where/how would/should one go about finding a first boyfriend? That is all...

Well, today I’m not in the mood for writing a poem or a journal entry, so I’ll just express myself using some lyrics.

“Now I know what I’m not, I still don’t know what I am…

A man walks in to a bar and says, "Bartender, Give me 10 Tequilas!"
The bartender says, "Whoa, buddy! You have a bad day or something?
"I just went home," replies the man "and found out my son is gay.
"That's tough," replied the bartender. "Here's your Tequilas."

The Next Day, same man, same bar.
"Bartender! 20 Tequilas!"
"Jesus, what now?"
"I just went home and found out my brother is gay!"

If you read the book Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser (and if you haven't, I really suggest it), then you should definitely read The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals by Michael Pollan. It deals with where our food comes from, and the problems with factory farms and non-sustainable agriculture. Even if the topic doesn't particularly interest you, the writing is superb. Pollan gives his own personal experiences and opinions in a non-preachy manner, and the book ends up being hopeful, and gives me the incentive to start being more conscious of what I eat (this book doesn't say that we shouldn't eat meat, although it does respect the vegetarian option, instead, it suggests that we take a better look at where all our food came from and how it was produced).

This really weird thing has happened last nite i had this like,you sleep but ur woke kinda dream,well before i went to sleep i was a little....ok lets cut the bullshit.. i was really hurt and sad last nite cuz i was thinkin bout my crush well then something entered my mind rite before i went to sleep: im not goin to get her cuz the boy is sapose to get the girl not the..girl. then i go to sleep and i have this dream...

i love this song is a nother song of melissa ferrick is call "drive".

If you want this
if you want this
if you want this, you âre gonna have to ask
nicely please
yeah if you want this
you are gonna have to ask me
you are gonna have to ask me

Whatever you want
ill give it to you
ill give it to you slowly
till you âre just begging me to hold you
ya whatever you want
whatever you want

is actualy a song , and the song is by melissa ferrick the name is "taste".

If I could have just a moment of you
Would I be wanting more?
If I could have just a taste of you
Would I be addicted?
If I could have just a touch of you
Could I tear myself away?

I would pray to be the rain that runs over and in your skin
With no consequence
To be the liquid in your glass that falls around your lips and mouth

hey...omg...Pride Parade is on Sat. and i'm so happy that my friend decided to come with me 'cause i didnt want to go alone...this is gonna be my first march and i hope its going to be fun plus i hope i can meet some cool new people...
Well...anyone from Hawaii that didnt know about it, its on Sat. June 24, 8:30 am @ Magic Island...
...I guess i'll tell you guys how it goes, unless you attend :)

the way i have my hair up today leaves strands loose, reminding me of something i havent thought of before, becoming tendrils of thought that extend from my brain, so much like the delicate legs of a spider or insect, only barely brushing the side of my face, touching my cheek, resting so gently, softly.
almost equivalent to the dream i had last night in the gentle way it positions itself.
where her kiss was so unintentional, but intentional, like she knew and didnt know exactly what it would mean to me. where it was so slight and so almost purposeful that her lips only brushed mine, and only for so short a time that i couldnt tell if she meant something by it.

I cried a tear
You wiped it dry
I was confused
You cleared my mind
I sold my soul
You bought it back for me
You held me up
You gave me dignity
Somehow you needed me
You gave me strength
To stand alone again
To face the world
Out on my own again
You put me high
Upon a pedestal
So high that I could almost see eternity
You needed me

i turned 18 the other month. i remember thinking when i was 14 that my life would be perfect if i was only 18. i would be able to conquer anything. here i am. i'm 18. and i couldn't feel more powerless if i tried. i still haven't gotten my permit cuz i haven't been able to get a ride to the dmv. i dont have a job because i cant drive myself to and from. i'm bound in this house every night unless one of my fantastic friends is willing to haul me out of here.

I watch as her black hair flutters in the breeze, flapping in the wind like a silken flag. She’s determined, passionate- her gait even and determined. Stop. Turn around. Eyes like coal that’s just been lit.

“What are you? A stalker?

idk, i just feel like writing something. It really may not be interesting at all, idk, i haven't even decided what this is about yet. I just need somewhere to write down everything. I don't know what i have to say, but i am kind of upset, about what, i have no idea. I just can't shake it, maybe i will go relax in a nice hot tub, or something, don't ask me, i have no idea, i am just kind of depressed, not as bad as i have been the past 2 weeks, just kind of.

i dont know what to do
me and my ex boyfriend broke
up a while ago and we both
still like each other but he wants
to give it some time...should
i just move on or wait???
please help me...

Hmmmm.... this is quite interesting. I have to share!
During math class when I didn't have my homework my teacher told me to call my dad. When I did he didn't answer. So I sat down. Then my teacher, Ms. H yells at me for no reason I know. And tells me to call him again.
She pulls me out into the hall and tells me that I can't afford to not do my homework with the grade I have in her class. And tells me that I'm going to fail and never amount to anything.

I've given up on changing people, changing them and stopping them from usung degrading terms when they speak about GLBT people. It frustrates me, yes it does that they don't stop but I can't really do anything so I'll be good and not use degrading terms.
My math teacher pulled me out of class while she was teaching to ask me if I was depressed, the answer is honestly I don't know. I don't like who I am or where I'm going and I'm not so sure how I'm going to change my future. It isn't like I'm doing bad things like setting fires but I don't do such positive things either.

I love beach volleyball, watching it that is. It is almost that time :) I love watching it because, one i love volleyball, and two hott guys in swim suits, and hottt, toned girls in bikinnis, you can always hope that there will be a wardrobe malfunction, with the top that is.

he is sooooooooooooooo cute but i didnt think he was gay but im not to sure
now he is like gettin closer to me as if he is he hangs aroud me all the and
it seems like he is flriting with me every day.but sometimes he is like
really norm (staight) its really crazzy because im afriad he'staight and we
wont be freinds any more help me feedback would be helpful

it's official, no one likes me. :(