Hello everyone *waves enthusiastically*
(^_^ I just spelled enthusiastically correctly!!)
Anyway I haven't been to this site in a long time, I used to go by Meldiseus but this is a new account, and a lot of things have changed since then.
I'm in college, studying to be an actor, and have a wonderful bunch of friends. I'm out to my mom, 6 people, and I know that if I want to I could come out to my friends cause they're mostly people who know about the LGBT to some extent and get pissed at people who aren't understanding.
This gay teen's very moving story of initial family rejection and ultimate salvation appears in today's Reno News & Review. His is just one of many other personal stories contributed by teens for the full article; but his is the only one telling of his family's rejection... but followed with love and acceptance expressed by an understanding grandparent!:
I have taken the liberty of extracting his story below...
Today is March 20th and today is also the day that my boyfriend has left for rehab for the next four and something months. I am not sure how to feel right now, because I miss him dearly already, I miss his hands and his mouth and his voice that says 'I love you' and 'You are the world to me'. I am sad that he is missing from me. But he is safe, and love is winning, and for this, I am blessed. The last words he said to me as he left were 'you saved my life'.
I had my thirteenth birthday last week, but now that I'm "officially" a teenager I don't feel any different. Except that I'm no longer able to call myself a 'tween, and I'm thankful that's over! In some cultures I'd be considered a man now but I don't belong to one of those cultures : (
My Dads threw a really cool birthday party for me, but it was a bittersweet occasion for me. It will be the last time that my best friend Austin and I will get to be together for what may be a long time, and it was hard for me to hold my emotions back so I didn't.
I've discovered my new favorite visual artist! He's called David Burdeny, and these are some great examples of his work:
I've been getting a lot of extra hours at work lately, which is good. Twenty-three hours this past week, nineteen of which were during the weekend. I like to gripe about it but really it's good for me. When I'm working my mind is only focused on the tasks at hand. It's a distraction. A greasy way to kill time, if you will. Plus the money is nice to have, although I don't particularly yearn for tons of cash. Good news is I can buy books and put more in my pathetically small savings account.
So I'm going to eat lunch w/ Lina. We've been talking a bunch on FB but I'm not really sure if she *likes* me or thinks I seem like a good friend...It would be helpful if I knew she was gay.
I'm dressing up anyway :)
I just got back from shopping in Portland.I got 3 new dresses: A floor-lengh Grecian-style dress w/ blue flowers on it; A shorter green dress w/ white embroidery at the hem; and a short black tunic w/ little white hearts on it. My new green blouse and vintage blue shoes arrived too.
Can you tell I like clothes? :) I think I'll wear the green dress to lunch tomorrow.
As the title suggests. I am so very happy. I'm in love you see. The rest of this post will probably give the impression that I am immensely depressed. But these are all tiny insignificant problems really when compared to the insane head-over-heels happiness that I am feeling. Just little niggles I need to get out of my head really. Because by the end of the upcoming school week pretending that there is nothing going on between me and Jane they will be bothering me more, but I think it's best to write about it now while I'm feeling optimistic. I'm waffling...
Hello Im back, but it'll be in distances of time when I write again
I went to the library and started reading Ulysses. It's really great although I didn't check it out but will. To my surprise I actually understood what was going on.
For a scholarship about gay rights I could write about my experiences so I begun that although I have no idea what the point of what I've learned has to do with my life now.
On a side note I've been reading william blake's work and I might apply an organized innocence philosophy to my life
We wanted to make history.
We wanted to make this an
epic thing filled with riots
and dangerous kissing
behind liquor stores,
feeling the thrill of
being chased to death,
having our hearts
beating on the edge.
Or perhaps, that was what I wanted.
Darling, you only wanted waffles,
sugary and tasty at 8 A.M;
holding hands while listening
to Harvey Milk on the radio.
"You gotta give them hope," he'd said.
You always liked a good
watching from the window
as it ripped open the sea
and spilled its foamy secrets
all over the harbor.
Yesterday was horrible.
I remember few names...if there's one thing i'm bad at, it's remembering names. But i will never forget David.
I am so much better. It's been weeks since I've been here. I'm not sure where to start. I took the CAHSEE this week. I know I passed both parts. Whoot whoot! I'm happy and crazy hyper. I love my life right now. I still miss my grandpa but I know he's happy and not suffering anymore.
I'm totally aware of the fact that my recent journals have grown repetitive. I just need to write whatever comes to me whenever it comes to me even if it covers the same subject over and over again because it makes my thoughts more logical and organized. For awhile, at least.