... we're back up and running.

For now.

I've snagged the best cast ever! My crush, as it turns out, loves Buffy & will be playing one of the lesbians. Hope against hope she comes out using the role...Also, I've filled the other roles with older kids who are starring in the current musical and stuff. The boy playing my romantic interest can even play guitar.
I'm so excited! I actually get to play Buffy! Outside of my shower! In front of people! My voice is perfect for the role and all the cool kids will be in it, which makes me one of them!
We have a FaceBook group and everything.

http://boards.4chan.org/mu/res/35150163#p35150270
Incase the thread's 404'd, here's the archive:
http://chanarchive.org/4chan/mu/68917/itt-what-dadrock-bands-you-actuall...

Well, I'm no longer a /mu/tant. People are going to be calling me a /mu/slim now.

Anyway, I went to the record store again last Saturday and got Yanqui U.X.O. by Godspeed You! Black Emperor, The Glow Pt. 2 by The Microphones, the Andrew Jackson Jihad/O Pioneers!!! split, and the collector's edition of Until the Quiet Comes by Flying Lotus.

My social life seemed to peak during the last week, only to plateau again. Last Tuesday was my eighteenth birthday so I endured the obligatory family gathering to celebrate. My cousin's boyfriend decided to invite himself without bothering to inform anybody and showed up in the middle of our dinner just to eat our food. He didn't speak to anybody but my cousins and he was very curt when anyone else tried to start conversation. He left without saying a word of thanks, because I guess a nice "Thank you for letting me eat six slices of YOUR pizza" is too much. What a douche.

It's hailing so hard right now that my mom actually has a legit excuse not to take me out for milkshakes (the fact that we can't drive, not the temp. I can eat ice cream anywhere, any time).
I hope that means I don't have to go to school tomorrow. I hate school. I hate Mr. Richards, who can't give directions when we need them and talks to hear his own voice.
I also hate how my mom keeps walking in because my window has a view of the hail. I've decided to ignore her.

I heard about David Bowie's new album being released about a month or two ago. I finally heard two songs from the CD/Album and I'm very impressed. So much so, i want to get the CD. I listened to 'Dancing out in space' & 'you will set the world on fire' while I was getting my coffee this morning, and both were pretty good. Can't wait to hear the rest of the tracks. He's probably the only musician I've known who can re-invent himself every decade. He's truly amazing.

i suppose that when i take
pills but i'm not sick
it really means i'm
sicker than i
thought i
was.

The first bit is quite trivial but the other stuff not so much.

I started watching this show that's been off the air for a number of years. I'm really enjoying it. So I post a question to a forum a week or so ago explicitly stating that I'm watching the show for the first time, don't want spoilers, ect. What do I get? Some douche private messaging me humongous spoilers. Ugh. People. No respect. No consideration. No nothing.

There were no goodbyes scrawled
on the bed frame,
no apologies painted on the floor
with tea and chalk.
Those words didn't
exist in your vocabulary, lover,
because you weren't
supposed to feel anything.

But then I came along with
my searching blue eyes and
demanding lips and you couldn't
just get rid of me like all the rest, no..

The seductive rain hit the windows
with an angry hand and made
the sky shrivel up like vanilla skin
and we stripped off our clothes
under a cluster of police lights;
strawberry red and turquoise fear.
You kissed my mouth like a Sadie

I'm not sure how I feel about everything that's happend this week. But from what I can tell is that this must be the smoothest week I've had in a few months. Nothing big or insane happened but nothing bland or dull either. Should it be left up to me, yes I'm quite content. However one will always be slightly non.

from black to blue to bluer still
you wanted higher, but
i'd rather stay
i'd rather
drown

I don't think I've written about this, but I got two records at this awesome store in Cambridge, Massachusetts: Coexist: Deluxe Version by the xx and F#A#∞ by Godspeed You! Black Emperor, which is by far the coolest record I have ever seen. It was less than $20 and it came with more stuff than any other record I know of, at least for the price. They are the best band to get on vinyl (followed closely by Neutral Milk Hotel).

Also, I'm going with a friend to see Animal Collective in concert in June, so fuck yeah.

Onto the most recent event:

Legend of Dawn by: Kazukiyo Nishikiori

I knew there must be something wrong with my sexuality when I was young.. It even became stronger during the prepubescent years until I became a teenager.. As a Christian I knew definitely that something like this is not tolerable and though contemporary views that sprouted obviously defend that it's alright to be gay.. I decided to come out when I was a young adult but all I had afterwards were regrets... I've never been in a serious relationship in either gender but I have done some not so serious things with the same gender.. I knew it's wrong but my urges eventually get me..

Things will probably be the same on the outside yet on the inside there is doubt and concern. Unfounded? perhaps, but it is also not out of the realm of possibility that there be founded doubt and concern. One's thoughts can keep one awake at night. Anxiety, stress, concern, lonelyness, struggle, wants, needs... All can keep one from sleep.