poems.....

Trevor broke up with me, but I haven't cried or cut myself or anything. I think I realized I mixed up love and lust. I'm starting to think I will never find love.

Rachael still likes me and I really like her. But she hasn't asked me out again, and I'm kinda afraid to ask her out. She's one of my best friends and I don't want to lose that.

Joey hasn't said anything about going out, and he's acting like a jackass, so I say: fuck him and not literally.

*smirk...grimace* Does anyone know where the bathroom in this place is? Thanks.

Ah yes, I knew you would be frustrated. And I know I've been gone a HELLUVA long time. But don't worry, I haven't changed much, aside from a recent personality disorder I've developed. Yes. Anyhow, It's 4:30, I've been doing Public Policy problem sets for the last three hours, and I will certainly give you a much more adequate update sometime tomorrow. *MUAH* I love you all. And Lauren...*waves frantically* I'm right here!

Normal ramblings of a confused child with so much hope yet so little future................................................................don't click here..............blah blah blah........read on

Tonight I hurt someone really badly. I risked loosing them and their love, along with their trust. I did something really horrible, which I regret, and what's worse is that I did it to protect myself. I made that person cry, I messed with their mind, and I feel like killing myself. I never in my wildest dreams, thought someone could cry over me, let alone someone who has known me for less than a month.

hmmmm....Well i am really fucked up. I have scars on my writs from when i couldn't handle the pian inside. I wanted to hurt myself even more i stopped eating and lost 12 pounds in 2 months. I have a really fucked up realationship with my parents. And i fucked up my realationship with the only person in the world who i thought truly cared about, and the wrost part is i know i am the one who fucked it up. I really just want it all to go back to when i wasn't fucked up, when i loved my parents, when they loved me.

me gods. 12 days and counting. that means that there will be at least 12 more rants...LOL.

Maggie complaining. It happens sometimes.

Perhaps I spoke too soon. Today, Tuesday I've run into difficulty. I sat at the black table at dinner and had nice conversation with a friend.

Chapter 1: Passing Notes

Darrel,
Maybe it was the phone call last night

I ask myself why can't catch up with people I see around me and I ask myself why I'm doing this.

As I emerge from the dining hall
tired, full
the world is as bright as the day is long
bright with snow
bright as winter
through the long white expanse, I walk
on paked down snow, cold and barren
as the frigid air that smaks my cheek
cold
barren
alone

I wish I had a portal, like Homer Simpson, so I could magically appear wherever I wanted to, at the push of a button.

Ahh, the possibilities.

In my job, I speak to americans. everyday, all day. all regions of the country, all differnt clases aswell. and one thing I have noticed is. For the most part they are dumb. I often wonder how most of these people make it thro day to day life,, they are that stupid.

Most have no concept of deductive reasoning, and the rest are so Naive in thier life, they would surely be the first to die in a cataclysmic global event.

I miss Riley. Where is she?!