Victory is mine.

Why can't people say please.

And what's happening with parties.

Find out in this ranting edition of eTgen's bLog-

READ MORE:)

Sam is actually off looking for stuff. Ash and I find...the granny panties. Chonies. You know, the kind you can parachute with. I comment I'm going to sew in the leg holes and make a purse. We were just laughing so hard...and I realized how much I need that.

I deleted my previous two entries, because I've worked to resolve the situation in a more constructive way. I think that venting is healthy, but I couldn't go back and edit those entries into anything valuable. I love the new delete and better edit features in this version of Oasis.

-----

I thought my last semester was supposed to be a joyous time. Time when I could -- finally! -- have fun.

Today was a day that will go down in History! Well not techinically, but YES in my book it will. I went to CASTRO, the hub of the gay community in the Bay Area. I'd been dying to go there, since God knows when and today I finally gathered up the courage to walk through the entire town. It was captivating, no it was surreal. My hand were sweaty and I was jittery, because I'm a complete and utter closet person, although I have to admit that I was on the lookout, for LESBIANS/BI's.

Saturday morning the group sets out to go camping in the Alaskan wilds.

But---do I want to go? The stress of being around Dan has increased tenfold since this morning, when he sat next to me instead of Lauren and Kale on the opposite side of the room. Sophomoric as it may sound I felt the battle lines being drawn, and the strength of his true loyalty was a lifeline, (though, perversely, I tried to hide how grateful I felt to the extent that I may

My mothers like a fudal lady. Shes driving me crazy!

Sometimes good advice is so hard to follow... trying....

Karen

Why is it you dislike me? Because I am honest? because the truth hurts? or I called your bluff to support a statement with facts?

They say its good to be yourself? when I am myself, honest, and upfront, people get upset? a true double entendre as jules would put it.

So long and Thanks for all the fish!

Ever since i came out to my parents my life has changed a lot. They doubt me soo much that i find myself know doubting myself too. I know if i begin to doubt myself my life is gonna get a lot worse. For a while the only thing keeping me semi strong was my very firm understanding of myself. But now as i start to lose that i can almost see myself traveling back in time. I didn't eat for a couple of days and i cut again.

Today is the first day in all i can remeber, where if a knife were in my hand i would not cut. It is a new feeling for me, i feel very alive for once, for the first time in ages i am living, not just alive and breathing, but real living. i love it. I mean i am not super happy i still have problems, but for some reason this night is different and calm in some sense. i like it, i like looking forward to the future instead of dreding it, i like living.

Finished running. Tonight

Earlier this evening I started moaning to myself about missing Rick. I was reminded of all the great stuff in our relationship that I miss, and I would have given anything at that moment to simply hear his voice again.