I am a GIRL, I feel ATTRACTED to other GIRLS. Some say it is OKAY and some say it is NOT. I like GUYS too, most say it is NORMAL, but few say MAKE UP YOUR MIND. I want to be HAPPY. I am a piece of shitty lard, who is letting her sexual orientation come in her way of her everyday life. What about college? A career? IAMGAYIAMGAYIMAGAYIAMGAY...SO WHAT????? ARE YOU CRAZY?!?! WHAT IF SOMEONE FINDS

this has been a long week for me. i need a break from my life. even being sick didn't give me any real rest. i had a bit of a moment with my online ex, but she is still too busy for me, even though she says shes still in love with me. so thats not happening. then theres the girl in maryland who also likes me and i can't be with.

i sound all cool with all my girl problems, but its not fun. i'd rather not have any, especially because i'm in in a relationship with any of them.

I am sooooo bored and very frustrated at the moment. I wish I knew how to go out and meet people, have fun, etc. I'm not old enough to go to the gay bars/clubs in town, and I don't know of any gay "parties" here on campus, lol. I don't even really have any friends throwing parties or anything. There's NOTHING to do!!! :P I could go to one of the numerous mardi gras parties being thrown in the numerous guys' dorms on campus, but I just don't get much pleasure out of being squished in a room with 30 people I don't know, plus everyone there would assume I was straight. *sigh*

Long over due, I finally came out to my religious aunt from Canada. Mother and I were in a group chat on MSN with her. We got along with many gossips and some how she blantly told me to find a girlfriend and get it over with. I sorta told her that I dont ever plan on dating girls at all. She didnt get it for a moment *pauses*. Told me whatever happened to the girl from Midland. Im like we are like best of friends. I sorta like boys, you know. *pause* So? What does it make any differance, she says. *mom imz me on another chat* IM PROUD OF YOU! im like im used to it but it was you that didnt want to tell them, mom. she then told me * I THINK SHE ALREADY SUSPECTED* Well like duh, they should since ive been wearing gay shirts, painting my nails and stuff like that. Isnt that obvious?!

I read two different 'that's so gay's in a magazine today and here's my reply. I'm not gonna send it til it's just right, tho so gimme sum luv please and tell me wot u think.

...than uncertainty.

Listen to me rant on about the three love interests in my life. My boyfriend, my ex, and my best friend. And I can't decide what to do. So read it, and make your choice. Then tell me!

I wanna be 8!

Today I visted my Dad. I usually refer to him as Captain Asshole. I had supper at his house, spent some time, talked ans stuff.

As he was getting ready to drive me home, putting his shoes on in the porth, we were talking about "appropriation" of office supplies. and he said jokeingly about stealing
"My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof"

I knew the line right off that bat. but I was haveing a mind blank, and couldn't name the song. Its a line from one of my favorite songs. one of his too he said.

Today's Dr Phil was about a kid who went to school in my town, Coweta, Oklahoma. They actually showed the high school. What I find really odd is that I don't remember much in the way of typical bullying...alot of name calling and stuff, but very little typical bullying.

I did not do well on my math test! Well, the first part anyway. I just didn't have time, which is weird, because I always finish her tests, but this time, not so much! Oh well, I have massive part two tomorrow, and I'll study my ass off for it! I'm getting a bit psyched for the two plays I'm going to be writing/acting in! Gah! Good ideas and fun people are good! And perhaps it'll look good on my college apps...
Speaking of that, do any of you have any sort of relation to Loyola of Chicago? I'm seriously looking there (it's the only sort of school I really like in my restrictions set by parents), and have heard really mixed reactions about it.

Yes, my dear friends

Our favorite blonde who likes to stake things with bumpy foreheads will be leaving us. After this season is the demise of the hit show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. One more tv show with homosexuality in it gone....

Are YOU Republican?

My short story: And this actually kinda happened. I had drifted off and then realize the water was over my face.