HAD ENOUGH!!!!! Its amazing I haven't run away already! I am sure thats one of my next ventures....yah running away seems like the next step. I dont understand my family. I dont understand them at all and they are driving me into the furthest reaches of insanity!
Having an off day, just like every other.
I am kinda less depressed because I got to watch this awesome art movie in English. It was on realism, impressionism, and post impressionism. Watching Degas, Manet, Monet, Van Gogh, and Renoir paintings on video for an hour is soooo awesome. All the different colors, techniques, subjects, and paintings themselves ::shivers:: Amazing, utterly amazing!!!!!

One of the few happy things in my life... muah ha haa, the new CD comes out tomorrow. You should all go buy it!

Just thought I'd let you know.

I just got back from riding my bike. Not sure how many miles I went; I go for quality, not quantity. :) Man, I love spring. The warm weather, warm winds, lack of insects in the air that could be swallowed while biking, et al. Ooh, can't forget the rain and storms. Mmm....

I'm enamored with Incubus yet again (and not just for Brandon Boyd's beauty).

some random woman called me at like 7:30 A.M. but i ended up not going to school so it is all ok. this woman asked me if we were gonna go to yoge together this morning and i was so out if it i was like "sure, see ya at 8" i sorta had a crazy night, i am really too young to have crazy nights, but hey it was fun. i love skipping school, going out to breakfast in the middle of the week, it just plain rocks.

Sorry guys.. i am having a moonerism spoment. Friday was a public holiday .. it was fantastic. I slept 18 hours out of every 24 this weekend. When i wasnt asleep i was jacked up on smurf juice (dont ask.. heh) reading Neil Gaiman.

Anyway , I saw my mom this weekend for the first time in about 6 months.. she introduced me to her new boyfriend. Me and her have this understanding that she has shit taste in men. It progressed from an unspoken truth to something i will throw in her face everytime it comes up since she chose her then boyfriend soon to be ex husband over me and my brother when I was 15. I didnt see her for about 2 years, although we kept in touch telephonically.

Hi
Today has been one of those beautiful days when i don't feel like a victim for being gay! i even was able to smile at a couple of the church bitches this morning in between sneers to my folks. why should we gay people always have to feel different, like we're the ones who are wrong and weird. i know i'm hotter than the straight guys at church, i know their girlfriends all stand up for me, and today i was able to live it.

"...Speeds so fast it felt like I was drunk..."

MY life from 1998-2001. It started with me reading my journal and recounting the tales. Then within the space of the last 72 hours 8 of the key players in that time frame have come back into my life, all coming from differnt directions. The memories are fun, some bring a tear to my eye. we have all grown up. moved differnt ways in life. I don't know if I should be sad or happy. so many mixed feelings mixed emotions.

It would explain so much.

Yes, Im gay.
You don't like it,
to bad.
You can walk right back out
that door you came in.
See it over there,
that one labelled 'ignorance'?

I am broken
Anguish flows from my depths

she's drop-dead-gorgeous. short red bob haircut, dark brown eyes, delicate lips, a cute little nose, and... god, she's beautiful. she's funny, and interesting, and has good taste in music. and she's bisexual, and interested in me.

she's everything i've ever dreamed about.

however.

I wish I could turn back time, I wish when I said sorry she would believe it. I wish I hadn't fucked things up to begin with. It hurts so much. It hurts so damn much.

I had to break your heart. I broke my own heart too.

So our show, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, sends chills through everyone who sees it. All the other schools are terrifried that we're gonna beat their asses, but we swallow our cockiness and keep our focus on the effect of the show on the audience. The awards begin.

The way you make me feel.

Mark, My love for you that went away and then came back in the form of a sexual conquest is hurting me. you will never read these words I know. You know I loved you. YOU are trying to hook me up with other people now. I don't know wether I should be insulted or humbled that you want to find me a consolation prize.

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I hate Having an Anxiety disorder. It fucks with my friendships to much. Maybe I should go back on the pill.