Yeah... hope may yet exist!
Harry Styles, Ed Sheeran sing gay classic
I've had an emotional roller coaster of a week. On Thursday night, I had one of the best moments of my entire life, but tonight was... painful. I feel a bunch of different things right now.
For most of my life, a lot of the people I've known, with the exception of my parents, my grandpa, and a select few friends, have always told me I couldn't. I couldn't leave here, I couldn't be successful, I couldn't do this, I couldn't do that. But on Thursday night, the good people in an admissions office in Boston decided that I could. I had to read their decision three times before I was able to comprehend that it was real. Even then, I still checked it again later to make sure. I've never been so happy in all my life. It's more than a college acceptance letter, you know? It's a door leading out of here, which is all I've really wanted for years. It's the one thing I've always needed. (And I should have some more coming over the next few months!)
And tonight, I was reminded of just how much I've always needed that letter.
I've been testing out my new power amp with the sickest songs playing through the whole house. A great day to end a shitty week.
I just bought a rainbow bracelet, one of those big rubber ones. Maybe not the best way of coming out, but I figure if I wear it my gayety will just kind of seep into the general conciousness.
meaning of the rainbow flag
hot pink: sexuality
i feel as though my parents want me to stay in the closet for the rest of my life
it sucks because i feel as though it should be my own choice who i tell...
my parents say that lgbt literature is banned from my house, they say that i am not allowed to date anyone, they refuse to even discuss my interests in being a gay rights activist, and they seem to think that being gay is a sin and that i am going to hell unless i become straight.
what the fudge am i supposed to do.
Hey everyone. It's 12/13/12. I am now 15 as of November 30th. I'm going to start there :)
I just got on my old account I used to write on when I was about fifteen. I'm utterly disgusted and disappointed in myself right now. I mean what the hell was I doing? It's all just so... dark. Every word and every punctuation is just bursting at the seams with desperation. Some quotes that really struck me:
"...either way we all die eventually might as well make it come quicker. Bad philosophy? Yes. Should I get clean? Maybe. I'm having too much fun right now."
What fun? Fun coming home fried outta my mind and depressed as shit?
gotta go school just started
I used to live by the illusion that time itself wasn't real...it was just a number, a random thing that was given to put people into a box by society....now I feel trapped inside that box. How the hell did I get here? I mean, shit, I have been 24 for all of 52 minutes now, and I feel like an eternity has passed before my eyes.
an eternity, a lifetime, as if I have seen and witnessed the world from a previous life. I have always felt I was wise beyond my years, when it came to relationships, life, dealing with adult situations.
I filled out my auto biography however its not exactly what you would expect. Please feel free to ask me questions about me through the inbox. So if anything thank you and Wibbly wobbly timey wimey. Alonsy!
A man once told me that in order to really see life for what is truly is; you would have to be dead. At first I didn’t believe him given the fact I was ten and had just gotten finished building a sand castle in the backyard of my step fathers’ house. Now that I’m actually dead I am now beginning to see his point. You got me. I’m dead, and believe me this is no joke. I have been dead for twelve years now. Now to tell you this wonderful tale on who I was.
My story so far, for anyone who want to read:
I haven't thought of how to tie it into the rising action yet, so when I do that I'll update this.
*A story I wrote inspired by the song "Superman" by Five For Fighting.*
The football field is completely deserted at 6:30 on Sunday evening. The washboard sky is stained a buttery amber and I'm sprawled on the hood of my station wagon, waiting for my best friend, Ryder.
-No more Miche. She stopped liking me. Broken heart, yadda yadda.
-sorted things out with the long distance relationship boy. He's got mental health issues, which we're working on finding compromises to. Got to a bit of an understanding with that now, so things are....well. Things are very nice, very comfortable, very happy. Very, very, very, amazing.
-got a haircut. I am a sexy beast, yo. my self confidence levels have gone up, been eating right, even excersizing. i feel very good about myself. the boyfriend may be helping a lot though, being nonabusive or douchey and all.... ;)