So I've been thinking about my chosen name (the name that eventually and hopefully will be my legal name) and I'm wondering when to use it.

I don't know when to start asking people to use it. I know for damn sure I'm not transitioning until after I get out of the dorms.

Even if I wanna wait, the name I chose still feels weird to me. I want to feel more comfortable with it.

Is there anybody on here that could help me out? Advice? Anything?

This whole experience is kinda lonely and difficult and I need someone or some people to listen.

and an odd new year. Things at work are not going so well right now due to other co-worker making my life difficult as hell and trying to put things on me that are totally HER fault, and not mine. Also, fighting/power struggle inside the company has come to a point where it's honestly like' really guys? really?'

Right after Christmas I went with my other Dad to visit his brother Steve and his twin sons Connor and Colin in Hartford, Connecticut. Joining us was my companion dog, showing of her new "Please Pet Me" vest inspired by the folks who took their healing dogs to Newtown.

Uncle Steve and my other Dad are really close, and they're always e-mailing and texting each other but this was their first time being together in almost 10 years. It was cool seeing them just hugging and being happy to be in the same room again.

I've updated my profile picture on this web site. (Disregard how weird and serious I look; the full-size version looked much better.) And in case you haven't noticed, I am growing my hair out. And yes, it is mostly so I can headbang. But it also looks cooler. Unfortunately I don't have time to straighten it, so it's really messy at school (until I comb it when I get home), but I don't care.

My father thinks I'm going to let him take me to get it cut. Ha! What a naïve idea.

Hello everybody! My name's Matt but all of my friends and my father call me Matty or Le Matt.

I consider myself gay but I also have some small feelings for girls too, and I've had a few experiences with them. I might talk about that, might not? I've been following Oasis for about a year and am impressed with the writing talent and diversity on here, especially Anarchist and Sam2000. Adding a French perspective could be interesting?

i'm back... my room mate was hacking my account on here and was making himself a right little nusance... by the by..(or by-the-bi, as the case may be) i've recently had a TBI (tramatic brain injury) so if my posts sound like i'm an oatmeal-brain, i am. i'll be fine after a while but i have a semi-permanent concussion and all of my responces and that may seem a little out of wack for a while...

I don't know what inspired me to search on the band Oasis, well yeah obviously because I love that band, actually I meant I don't know what or who inspired me to search on the band Oasis at this exact moment. I was feeling really really low today and I finally found an outlet for my emotions. Thanks to whichever deity that is looking upon me.

Hello.

I'm back and I said I would try to be, which is awesome! :) I hope to keep returning for sure! :D

Anywho, just an update on life.

So here I am. My eyes are blotched a raw pink and my head is pounding, as it tends to do after a good, long, self-pitying sob session.

This is so fucking stupid. The specific reason I've been bawling for the past twenty minutes is so fucking stupid, but its underlying cause runs a lot deeper. This moment of pathetic, woe-is-me whining has also been a moment of sheer epiphany.

My epiphany is this:

It's been so long since I posted here that I forgot for a moment how to post a journal entry. I have also just had the shock realization that I have been an Oasis member for over six years!

It was weird to go back and read over my old journals, but also kind of exciting to see where I have come from. It is strange, I know that it was me that wrote those things, but it also feels like someone else at the same time. I suppose my life is so much different now than it was then.

I say it all the time; I hate people, I hate humans. I can't help but love them though, despite all their stupidity the modern media has fallen into. At the same time, I hate myself also. I'm such a hypocrite. I tell people all the time that life is worth living, that it could be so much worse, but right now I'm having a hard time convincing myself that. I get angry when people can't make up their minds but I'm terribly indecisive and semi co-dependent. I hate so many things that I turn around and do myself then forget about it like I wasn't just yelling at someone for the exact same thing.

I am writing a daily essay in 2013 and posting it to my website at jeffwalsh.com.

It's some personal stuff that I haven't tended to share before. So, if that interests you, here is the intro post describing the project and, from there, you can read three more essays that have been posted so far...

http://www.jeffwalsh.com/2013/01/01/happy-new-year-3/

Little carrot for you 'fore I realized...
I'll tell you all about it dude I'm sorry
will you forgive me?
yes
number nine
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everyone in there knew that as time went by they'd get a little bit older and a little bit slower...
they couldn't escape...
intended to pay for...
number nine
number nine...
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It's been a long time since I was last here. New Year's Day kind of made me realize that I'm probably will NEVER meet anyone and will die alone. I'm serious. Everytime I meet a guy, he's either straight, taken, or both and those that are single talk to me for about two weeks and the suddenly stop corresponding with me without even telling me why! I just can't meet anyone that I am get so desperate that I'll take just about ANY guy willing to talk to me. I just feel so pathetic. I haven't even gone on a date in my entire LIFE! Maybe I'm just unwantable....

so the most awkward thing happened during christmas.
my grandma asked about my sex life (by the way non-existant) which was kind of weird*sarcasm*(it was really weird)
she didnt directly ask, she was more like" are you in a relationship".
~~me: no
her: oh i really want grandchildren
Me(in my head ) : well that sucks