i have been gone... so my life in a nut shell

unsure pixie — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 09:31:38 +0400

okay for those who dont know me im pixie... im 18... im female and i dont believe in lables... basically that just means that i dont know what i am... but okay... since i last was here... i have started collage... moved into my own place... my girlfriend dumped me... because she thought i was sleeping with this guy we know... and i wasnt... but yeah... im still not out... and im dating a guy as a cover...

fffing a

unsure pixie — Sun, 02 Jul 2006 06:33:26 +0400

i had a bad day today... well it really wasnt that bad... just kinda pissed me off... i went to work today... no big deal... almost got fired... made 108$ in tips... had to work late... didnt get off till like 5 was late to my second job... because of fudgies taking over my little town... went to my second job to walk into a huge mess... screaming babies... kids fighting... phone ringing... it was crazy...

the truth about me

unsure pixie — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 07:36:51 +0400

im the girl who sits next to you...
the one you pass in the hall...
the one who is always in a hoodie...
hood up face down...
the one who rather read then talk...
the one you dont know anything about...
but knows all about you...
im the girl who you work with...
the one who sits behind the desk...
the one you tell to do things...
answer the phone get you lunch...
the one who folds the towls...

i met her best friend

unsure pixie — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 07:41:18 +0400

alright i was going into the city to go to a show... and my girlfriend calls me... shes like you should meet me and my friend he really wants to meet you since well i cant stop talking about you... so i went and i took one of my friends so i wasnt alone... we get there and she introduses me as her girlfriend... and i smiled said hi... i was really nervus... we got talking about school and life... the convo got really deep and intense... and i got scared... everyone thinks that im stupid because im kinda airy and always hyper... well we got talking about act scores and everything and her friend asked me my score and i told him... and its something i kinda keep to myself... and i told him that i got a 28 and i thought my girlfriend was going to die... because i scored higher then both her and her friend... then i got really unconfortable... when my friend said that i graduated a year early... but then my cell phone rang and me and my friend had to get outta there... i dont know what to think...

at what age did you start to question your sexuality

unsure pixie — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 21:40:01 +0400

* before 6\n* 6-9\n* 10-13\n* 14-17\n* 18 and up\n

my day

unsure pixie — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 07:15:38 +0400

okay i went into the city to see my girlfriend... and because i had a dr appt for an hiv test... and i went to my friends hosue... big fight stayed there for like 4 hours cleaning up the mess... it was gross... then i didnt even think about seeing my girlfriend i was gross... then so i called her and told her that i had to shower before we hung out... i was laying in the grass waiting for one of my friends to come and bring me my appt keys...

i called her

unsure pixie — Sat, 24 Jun 2006 07:16:38 +0400

i called her... we she didnt answer... then she called me back! i answered and we talked for like an hour... we talked about life, religion, pda, homophobia, our personal goals... everything... then she told me how much she missed me... and i told her how she made me go into a small heart attack... she laughed and she said that she was having a hard time too... then i asked her if she wanted to go hang out sometime... and she asked me if i was ready for a relationship... and i told her i am... and she goes good... then she said pixie will you be my girlfriend... i cant stop thinking about you... i truly think i am in love with you... i couldnt speek... i sat there for like 5 mins 100% speechless... and if you know me at all thats not like me... she smiled and said that she was sorry for getting all serious and everything... and i told her not to apologize and then i told her that i would love to go out with her... so tomorrow night... we are going out at her boat to watch the fireworks... i cant wait... i dont know what to wear... im so girly... but she likes me she really likes me... yay go me... im sorry im just soo happy right now...

omg i think im in love

unsure pixie — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 23:36:56 +0400

i met this girl thru a volenteer program i am in... and i really like her... i havnt seen her in awhile... and today my dad and i were out in the city... and we stoped to get a bite to eat... and she was our waitress... i found myself shaking and my heart beating fast... my dad tapped me and was like pixal do you know what you want yet... and i looked up at her and we both kinda laughed... my dad was clueless as to what was going on...

what do you identify as

unsure pixie — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 02:52:07 +0400

* homosexal\n* bisexual\n* trasgendered\n* asexual\n* heterosexual\n* other (explain)\n* lables are for soup cans\n* \n* \n* \n

update on camp

unsure pixie — Sat, 17 Jun 2006 21:42:57 +0400

my parents arent sending me to camp... my grandma told them that if they send me she will never talk to them again... blah blah she just thretened them basically... things are still pretty tence around my house right now... but im still here... my parents are letting me go into the city tonight to go clubing... big surprise beings just like 4 days ago i wasnt aloud to talk on the phone... everyone keeps telling me that things will get better... the kids in my youth group now know... and i am stil being very welcomed by them... and since they found out i have had 3 kids come out to me... and we have been talking about sexuality more open and honest... the kids really like it... (i work with ages 13-17)...

bad week

unsure pixie — Tue, 13 Jun 2006 05:10:04 +0400

i have had a really bad week... i tried to come out to some of my friends they just hated me for it... but i dont blame them they dont understand... i have friends who do understand and who love me... i wasnt going to tell my parents anything at al but ehy decided it would be a good idea to search my room and found my journals... read them werent happy with what they found... the past like 2 hours i have been talked too and prayed over...

im off to camp...(horrid truth)

unsure pixie — Tue, 13 Jun 2006 05:04:34 +0400

i came this morning to find my room trashed... my bed was on its side... every thing i owned was on the floor my dresser was empty as was my closet... my parents were looking for something... well they found something thats forsure... they found my box of my poem books and my journals... they decided to look thru it... inside of it was the letter i wrote to my mom about me being gay... poems about this girl who i have been crushin...

update on my problem

unsure pixie — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 07:59:52 +0400

my city friends wouldnt answer my phone calls so i went up to there house... and they let me in and we sat down and talked for like 4 hours... and i explained everything... and now were cool... my country friends now know that i am questioning my sexuality and they arent cool with it... they freaked out... but its okay... im fine with it...

problem please help

unsure pixie — Sun, 11 Jun 2006 02:01:04 +0400

city life: 3 days a week im in the city collage classes and play... i have a group of friends there... they are all in the gay community... some are gothic some are preppy but yeah... they are my city friends when im up in the city... we hang out and everything... they know im not out and that i am very unsure about my sexuality... to them i am open and honest... they also no i have a life back in the country... they know all about it... know everything there is to know...

am i a freak?

unsure pixie — Fri, 09 Jun 2006 07:25:19 +0400

okay i have known since like 3rd grade that i was different... i just thought then i was a tomboy... but then as i grew up... i thought i was gay... because i found females to be more atractive then males... but now... females kinda kreep me out too... i have learned im not atracted to them either... so what does that make me beside a freak...

Sometimes I wonder,
Who am I.
I don't know what I like or want,