I have had one of the worst days of period pain that I have ever had in my life.I'm not even exaggerating about that.I ended up just going to bed to try and sleep so I could stop throwing up.It was nasty and inconvienient.I had so much stuff to do today.I should have been studying for my exams which start next week,and then going out to celebrate a friends birthday tonight.But all plans had to com

I wish I was only 18 or 19 again.I wish I could go back and change where I was and the decisions I made.I wish I could go back with what I know now and change things.That is what I do I look back and think why didn't I do things differently.I wish I had known so much more than I did.

Tired would be a word I could use to describe myself right now.As I near the end of this semester of college before the Summer break.I am swamped in assignments and exam stress....but who isn't at this time of year I guess!

I finally attended a lgbt meeting today.I'm glad I went,but I'm not sure if it was my cup of tea.I might go back next week...I'm not sure yet.I could probably go into more detail but I got to go now.Just thought I would make a note of it.Around this time two years ago I found/joined Oasis.I'm slowly progressing lol.

So this week I have pushed the limits on how comfortable I am with people knowing I am gay.At the start of this college year I vowed that I would go sign up to my college's lgbt group.I am now entering into the last four weeks of this college year,and have finally plucked the courage to sign-up,with a lot of help from a very good friend.

A study break from working on the computer,while still sitting at the computer is probably a poor idea.But that is what I am going to do anyway.Take a break from programming to write a journal.I really need a break.I am absolutly swamped in college work,and will be up until the end of May when I finish for the Summer.

I'll probably keep this journal brief as it is almost 1:30am and I have college tomorrow.I just really need to blog a bit because I think I am going crazy.I know I have been around and around in circles with my feelings on being gay,wanting to be out,not wanting to be out,not being sure of anything etc...I also know I have recieved some very good advice on the subject and what to do about it on th

Arrgh I am back to college tomorrow,after having two weeks off.I should probably be in bed by now.I am quite tired.I had about three hours sleep last night before I had to get up for work this morning,as I went out with my friends and didn't make it home until the small hours.

Sweet surrender,
I feel I'll dream forever,
To sail away,
Just to feel ok,
Sweet surrender
Will I feel it never?

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First off,thanks to the oasians who commented on my last journal.

I had a strange and sexy dream about a boy,yes people I said boy, from my college course, last night.I basically ended up giving him a blowjob and playing with his cock.I'm not really sure exactly what put this into my head,but it has left me a little distracted today.

My mam has been on holidays over the weekend and now she is back she is in a terrible mood.I don't know why.She is always very moody and tempramental.Like one week she will be so nice to me and the next she is screaming at me for the smallest thing,such as leaving a door open or a light on in a room that is empty.I find myself walking on eggshells around her,and it is just so unpleasant.She has be

Je suis tres bored.I don't know why I typed part of that sentence in French.I am anyway,bored that is,not French.Apparently only boring people find themselves bored.So I guess that makes me boring,which sadly I think is true lately.

I want to have some fun!!!!! I was meant to go out with my friend tonight.But she called earlier to say she is kind of sick and not sure if she can make it.Which is usually her code for I'm not sure what my boyfriend is doing yet,if he is free I'm not coming.Which is really annoying for me!I've been looking foward to tonight all week and now bam its probably going to be a night home alone :/.

I cannot stop listening to Tegan and Sara.The have become my obsession.I can't stop talking about them either.They are so cute and funny as well as being brilliant musicians.I've been listening to a lot of lesbian musicians lately.I'm not sure what is exclusively drawing me into their music,I guess it's fun to go to gigs where there are lots of lesbians =]