moody little sulker

the ghost — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 03:36:51 +0300

I over analyze everything, I am moody and I am a sulker. I can run away from those three facts all I want, but they are true, and if I don't learn to control all three I am going to end up a very miserable lonely person. I have been over analyzing some things my friends have been doing, which has made me moody and in turn sulky the last few days.

Find yourself a partner someone to relate to

the ghost — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 01:50:12 +0300

I should be preparing a presentation for college, it's due tomorrow, but I've been trying to write it up for hours to no avail. It's one of those wishy washy things that I am sure they just throw into the course to fill a module because they couldn't think of anything else to put in its place.

...

the ghost — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 00:28:11 +0300

I think I'm starting to feel relief from the fog that has been hanging over me for the last few months. There was a blip yesterday, but overall I am starting to feel better. I think things are going to be difficult for me for a while, but I will cope.

Stupid stupid feelings

the ghost — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 04:09:03 +0300

I'm almost as tired writing these journals about Michelle as anyone who may notice my entries is of seeing them. But I can't seem to help it, going on and on and on..

Defeated

the ghost — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 04:16:32 +0300

I feel so sad, I feel so alone, and I feel so defeated. I fail at life, I fail miserably. If I had of wrote this journal yesterday I would probably have been blabbering on about the nice day I'd had with Michelle on Friday. But I think I'm only happy when I'm actually deluded.

I'll stop going on about it eventually...i promise

the ghost — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:19:20 +0300

I would imagine all these journals about Michelle must be getting tedious. But I feel like I need to get it all out somewhere.

A*hole

the ghost — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 04:03:51 +0300

It's strange that a conversation with my sister about my relationship with Michelle, actually made me feel better about things. Usually my sister, while well meaning, can sometimes make me feel worse about things generally. She started to point out all the things that were wrong with the relationship from where she saw things, in that she didn't think we were compatable people at all.

Alone again, naturally

the ghost — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 19:46:35 +0300

The whole time myself and Michelle were together, I always worried that I was going to be the one to hurt her, to cause her pain. I stumbled into our relationship, unsure if it was what I wanted at all. She did all the persuing at the start and it won me over. I don't understand why she put all that effort in, to tell me five months later that she hadn't been ready to start our relationship in the first place.

I didn't replace the ring

the ghost — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 01:32:11 +0300

I think I was having a knee-jerk reaction last week when I was contimplating replacing the ex's birthday present. I had just been out at a club and seen her for the first time in weeks, with the added complication of another girl following her around all interested. I was jealous and was having a lapse in my good sense.

opinions please?

the ghost — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 03:12:50 +0300

Ok so I have been chatting to my ex the last few days a lot, and I know she still has feelings for me. Now I know she still needs her space and stuff, but also wants to hang out with me.

But here is the thing, I got her a ring for xmas and she has been wearing it since, even though we broke up. However she lost it the other night on the night out we all went on. She always takes her ring off and puts it in her pocket to wash her hands.

Love sick

the ghost — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 01:22:44 +0300

So I seen my ex last night for the first time in about two weeks. I had been doing ok with the flat out not speaking. It's not so easy to do when you see the person though.

Absolute rage

the ghost — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 23:31:56 +0300

How do you deal with being so fruious and angry with people. I think the rage about the situation my ex and her ex , who I shall call fc for the purpose of this journal, has well and truly kicked in for me.

more on the breakup

the ghost — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 01:34:42 +0300

I always think I will be fine until I come home in the evening and go online...and then end up listening to music which depresses me. Why when you are trying to get over someone does every song you hear make you think of them or relate to them in some way.

I'd probably give up forever

the ghost — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 01:57:49 +0300

I seem to save up all my misery for Oasis. It's not intentional. But when things are going well, I tend to be on here, or online a lot less. For a while I thought I had outgrown this place and its part in my life. Well by outgrown, I mean my journalising here. But I always come back here to write and feel like I'm talking to somebody even if nobody reads it. I usually feel better for it to some extent.

Day Bazillion

the ghost — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 03:30:18 +0300

So my ex girlfriend wants to meet up tomorrow. Two weeks ago when we were breaking up, it seemed like a good idea to me. I was happy with that little guarantee that we would still be seeing each other at a set time and day, even if it was two whole weeks. It was something to cling to, something to hold on to to keep me going.