It's been so long since I posted here that I forgot for a moment how to post a journal entry. I have also just had the shock realization that I have been an Oasis member for over six years!
It was weird to go back and read over my old journals, but also kind of exciting to see where I have come from. It is strange, I know that it was me that wrote those things, but it also feels like someone else at the same time. I suppose my life is so much different now than it was then.
It's a long time since I posted here. O_o Hello
It's been ages since I've posted on here! Too much has been going on the past while to give an entire account! But I am pretty happy right now. I have a very beautiful girlfriend, I sorted a lot of issues with my friends out, and I'm now finished college and need to figure out what I'm doing with my life. That's pretty much a synapsis of my life right now!
When life is going well, I never take time to document. My bad! Hope you are all good you little gayers =]
What do you do with someone who you thought was a friend, but did something that hurt you absolutly and completly? Do you try salvage the friendship, when they can't even see the harm that have done, or the hurt they have caused you? Or do you just move on?
I had a really lovely day yesterday. Myself and a couple of friends went to a maritime festival. It involved us spending our afternoon getting on and off boats drinking wine. We were all quite tipsy by about 6 in the evening, when I had to leave to run to another friends birthday. The journey home, and to get ready was quite the challenege, considering the amount of wine and lack of food consumed.
I know it's a recession, and people are struggling to find jobs, and being offered an interview less than a week after I sat my final college exam ever, is an amzing oportunity, but I can't help but feel a little tired and wishing that it wasn't happening so soon. I would have liked at least one week of being carefree, happy and maybe a little bit lazy. Butt eek I have an interview in 2 days, for a real grown-up persons job(I know that sounds silly). Despite my complaints mentioned above, I'm actually also excited and really really want this.
Wish me luck!!
Well I ended up going to that party last night, that I made my last journal about. I had made my mind up not to go, and text the girl I am currently seeing to tell her I wouldn't be out. I was honest and told her why, and she text me back to say come, and that if I was uncomfortable or upset we could go somewhere else. This kind of gave me the push to go, because I really wanted to see her.
I have to go out tomorrow night, but I have absolutly no desire to be there. It is a friends birthday, though, when I say friend he is far more of an aquaintance. I would make my apologies and not go, but another friend has arranged the celebration as a suprise and needs a certain number of people in every location in order to pull the night off the way he has arranged. So I think I would be letting him down, more than anything. It is going to be a night involving my ex girlfriend, which I really wouldn't mind that much, but her ex and her inner circle goons will also be there.
I have complteted two of my four final year exams this week. The pressure has really been on, and the last week is honestly a blur of trying to stuff as much knowledge as I could into my mind. I now have a nine day gap until I need to complete the second two. Then that is it. I am finished, and hopefully a Bsc of Computing.
So I had a date last night. It was all very on off right up until the last moment. It was with a girl I kissed a few months back, I think I may have wrote a journal about it, though I am not too sure. She was the first girl that I kissed since Michelle. Afterwards I acted like a bit of an asshole though. She sent me some texts and calls, but I barely responded. I acted all cool and stupid about it to my friends, and said that she was clingy and freaking me out a little bit.
I think if anyone were to read back through my journals, they would think that I was the most depressed person to ever live. I don't think that I am, I think I just seem to learn most things the hard way. I also feel that at 24 years of age, I am only learning the lessons of love and life, and general affairs of the heart. I may be wrong, but my guess is that most people learn these things a little sooner. I suppose the fact that I was closeted for so long meant that I missed out on being part of a group of friends who go out, who kiss people, who go on dates etc.
It's amazing how you can go from being on top of the world one minute to just gutted again the next. It sort of sucks. I had a good day, I presented my final year project, and it went well. I had a fantastic time at a gig then this evening. Then I started chatting to my friend and it all went downhill.
I don't understand how people who say they don't like someone who has done nasty things to them and their friends, me being one of those friends, can just go and chat to that person, organise to go out and socialise with them and treat them the same way as everyone else.
Worst day ever. Spent about 15 hours working on final year project, my friends are mad at me, nobody understands wtf I am doing, it's 3.45am and I am still awake. Why?
I keep thinking I would like to write a journal on here. But then I think that I don't have anything to say. The last few weeks, maybe even months, I have been entirely consumed with my final year project for college. It has been an absolute nightmare. The supervisor I was assigned, is, quite frankly a bitch. She has been making my life a living hell since September. It's due next Monday and is still not finished. I am stressed but clinging to the fact that it will soon be over.
I have been thinking about how much I would really like a girlfriend again these last few weeks. I think about it as I get into bed at night, that it would be nice to be crawling in beside someone again, or just having someone to send a text to, to say nighty night. The thing is, I am not even sure who I want that someone to be at the moment.