I have received a recent
comment (I won't mention
names unless you ask) that
has helped me feel better.
Just such words (refer to
title) affect me in a good
way and I appreciate it.
But I would also
like for everyone to know
that I am here if you all
need someone to talk to.
I don't care if I have
600 private messages, I
will get to yours.

So I should go shoot myself.
What good am I if nobody wants me?

I know this just like some whining
journal entry that is completely
pointless. But I have become
desperate here. All I really
want is for someone to call me
or hold me or show me they care...
if you're going to say something mean
to me, plz don't comment.
Not that anyone really comments
on my journals anymore anyw

It's odd cause any other chatroom I have
ever been on has been with stupid ppl
who don't know how to word things. Not that
I hate them for it or anything, but it's just
that I prefer to be among all of you
smarter people.
Anyways, my best friend has been confusing
me. You see, she exaggerates EVERYTHING. literally.
I mean it. If she is talking about
her grandfather letting the dog in the house,

hello again.
good things happening, but
pm me if you wanna know, cause
i need more ppl to pm me.
I have become desperate for
a bf and am thinking of calling
my ex. not good, right?

What would you do if you realized that the
reason why you're depressed so much is
that you have no support in anything you do?
(please don't comment me saying that "you've
never had that problem-because I'm only asking
what if you did?)
What would you do if you also had no idea
why nobody wants you? (friends, family, neighbors)

Anyone care to pm me?

There's this guy I've known for a while
now. I really liked him and he "loved" me.
So he started on his way down to see me
and it started taking longer and longer.
Then he stopped 40 min. from me to get
a job. Next thing, he doesn't call anymore
and today I found out that he hung himself.
Over me. How horrible is that?!!
But all anyone has told me is"oh I'm sorry".
So I'm having a TERRIBLE day.

So I'm feeling really sad right now.
I guess I really don't know what I want/need.
I'm so confused and mixed up and tired of
"finding my inner self and relaxing".
So I don't know what to do. I need a life.
I need friends. Beyond that, I just don't
know why people are leaving me alone like
I did something to the world and it all hates
me. Anyways, I'll stop whining long enough
to let you read this poem. PLEASE COMMENT