Revised Poem

alya — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 21:50:35 +0400

So I just revised this, tell me what you think:)
p.s. Happy Easter!
Cold prestine eving
Sliver moon gave the only light
Walking camly
Heart beating softly
Swishing legs
Through long black dress
Heels kicked off
Foot to foot
Slowly, ever so slowly
Perfectly obsevive
Hand brushes up against neck
Dress sashes down lean frame
Collapsed bun
Lush black and sleek
Hand Grasps Bath

it's a poem...I'm horrible at titles

alya — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 06:24:10 +0300

Suggestions much aprriciated:)

you stare and her in such painstaking envy'
she has the strenghth
such prestine wrists
pale skin colliding with perfect blue veins
and adorned with slim red lines
there is no fear
she proudly wears them for the world to see
and no one cares
You want her pride
her strength
you have friends
your naked
but a different kind of nakedeness

list

alya — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 01:13:51 +0300

.Days when I like my life
when my emotions actually make sense
finding poems I can releate to
writing good poems
my girlfriend
My bff
concerts
making out
dances with good djs
good radio stations
good movies
the beatles
moments when I'm not overcome with self-hate

Omg I cant believe you said that

alya — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 08:54:29 +0300

SO this asshole who I thought was my friend. He knows Im a lesbian
C:I want to be Hitler except with Gays
Me:Dude dont even joke about that shit
C.:Oh Im not, right A.
A:remains silent
C:its all I talk about, I really do
Me:C shut the fuck up right now
A:Yeah C. SHut the fuck up
C:You know there is this wedding thats coming up with a bunch of gay people I really wish I could bomb it..

life=why?

alya — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 06:24:43 +0300

How do I even begin....I'm slipping so very low. I feel like a flower in in fall, slowly dying. I have been a self mutilator for two years on and off and Suicidel for about 1. Im no longer feel alive, I feel stripped, and raw. I Know I need help but I can't... I guess Ill tell you some backround info.

Blood bath(poem)

alya — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 16:13:53 +0300

comments would be much aprecciated :)

cold prestine eving
sliver moon gave the only light
walking slowly
swishing black velvet dress
kicking heels off
foot to foot slowly ever so slowly
perfectly obsevive
hand reached against neck
dress too now falls gracfully to the ground
long black hair collapsing bun
long black and sleek
hand brused up against the tub
whit stainless smooth

momentary happiness

alya — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 17:38:20 +0300

The blade
pushing
down
penetrating
skin

asking
fast
questioning life
why

deeper
its thrusted

no longer
questioning
blood
now flowing
life
dispering
emotions
almoust
dying

why
no longer
pain
no longer

and then...
blood
no
longer

thoughts flowing
question
asking

life
now
showing

for
after all
it
was
just
momentary happiness

i miss my brother

alya — Thu, 28 Dec 2006 02:33:28 +0300

Im so insanly sad right now . Last night my brother nearly jumped out a window , he had to be persuaded not to by cops , they than put him in a cop car , i didnt know what was going on. I went downstairs not knowing this i ask my grandfather why there are cop cars right in front of my house , he just ignores me .

were/are you looking forward to the holidays

alya — Sun, 24 Dec 2006 04:23:41 +0300

* YES\n* no\n* i dont celebrate any \n* \n* \n

quest for numbness

alya — Sun, 24 Dec 2006 03:24:39 +0300

it seems that thats what im doing i keeping on believing the lies my moms tells me and each time its the same pain the feeling that i wont let happen againg but always does. Ok so she told me that she was going to this grieving xcenter i was wickedass bored so i dedcided id come.

im worried

alya — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 07:34:34 +0300

God im really worried about my health . I have insomnia headaches about 5 x a week blackouts dizzy spell significant weight loss fatigue.... The docters say its probbly just depression . This has been going on since last year and im starting to get really worreid . I have been tested for like everything mono , lyme , white blood cell count... there going to test me for 4 some hear t provblem called long qt snydrome 2 days after xmas. And the only reason there doing that is cause my dad died in afgahnastan this summer and they dont know what from and this is a possibilty .

how often do you wish you were dead ?

alya — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 17:28:00 +0300

* more than once a day\n* once a day\n* once a week\n* more than once a week\n* every couple of weeks\n

:( :)

alya — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 09:28:28 +0300

hey people
i used to post hear a lot when i had destructive habits and tons of shit going on and i was really pissed and depressed all the time . Well my dad died i n june and i have changed a lot. i lost lik 30 - 20 pounds in like a month i barly eat but i was nt as depressed , i think i have almoust become numb . I feel pain when i shouldnt and dont when i should . I have a a litlle bit of semi intense anxiety but over random things . I ll get all worked up about stuff that deosnt matter and not over thing s i should . But i more on the same boderline depressed mood most of the time just stayin there its weird . It may seem while reading this that i just am 5050 happy unhappy . But its more like i subconcinsly bottle up my emotions and freak and feel the pain but then go back to the chill calm mood it s very strange . I am definetly not a happy person im not mean just numb i guess i donn know ?

yep its a semi dark peom for class

alya — Fri, 01 Dec 2006 07:03:33 +0300

Note: i really realll really apreciete comments so pleaaazzz tell me what you think , good, bad, or whatever

Her dreams break off after her death
She is constantly shooting up meth
Watch her play others will leave
For they don’t know what she actually believes
She sits there all still as if in a dream
Turn on the lights you know she will scream
They all break it off , lfor they don’t like to watch

my mom :(

alya — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 17:13:58 +0300

i dont get it a try so hard to get along buts like shes pushing me away , it hurst do bad. It seems as though since my dad died she has not been inj one good mood. I know this is false but its how it feels. SHe hangs with my brother 24/7 and the only time we ever talk is when we argue. I try not to argue with and i tell what wee arguing about is pointless and lets drop it , and then she'l say something like your just doing this to caus you already said all that you want to