god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aviv is a fucking genius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to fuck him forever!!!!!! FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
good night ladies and gents.

i know women can be ball breakers....so does that mean they can also be cunt breakers? if so....i nominate bulldyke as cunt breaker of the year.

it's my party and i'll suck dick if i want to!

swinging the extremes again :(
i love feist!!!! she's just soo!!!! feist!!

IM MOVING!!!! YAY!!!! My family is FINALLY coming back!! They've ordered their tickets to Thailand on the 29th of July where they'll spend a week (just for a holiday...it's our family's favourite holiday destination) and bring me up from Israel too if they can before coming to Israel and settling in the centre.

Ooh dear, life's a funny thing isn't it? I've been swinging back and foward from old Adam to new Adam, as my therapist calls it, "The pendulum affect"....or some such. I've dumped Ohad, he was treating me badly, it had to be done. I've gone back to the one night stands, but I've severed my alcohol and weed consumption...which I think is a step in the right direction...holding up well so far...but we'll see what the weekend brings.

ow!
gave ohad the flick...prick!
sank two bottles of wine and ...erhm...pot...don't know how much...?
got aviv maybe (fingers crossed) coming tommorow....got three others stringed and poised for sex...thoguh i think not tonight i have uni tommorow and it's late.
feel horny..like genuinely horny...for the first time in a long time tonight...shame it's gonna go to waste.
had a massive fight with family the other day...shouldn't have told them about the new habbit (pot)...i'm gonna curb it anyways...alcohol is more fun. wanna try ecstasy though....tehe. fuck em

It's worse today.

It came back today after an absence I wish was longer. Though having said that no absence could have been long enough. Anxiety; had me by the balls all day, and now in the night it gathers strength.
I can hold it inside but it eats away at you. Everyone can read me....I used to be the big mystery man, now everyone knows exactly what i'm feeling. they know, when i'm happy, sad, angry, stressed, tired...basic things...but they can also tell when i've gotten layed...when i'm stoned...when i'm hung over...when i'm drunk...when i feel self conscious...

i'll hate until he says he loves me again
i'll hate you
i'll hate him
and most especially
i'll hate me.

why do i need a therapist? no...seriously...i wanna know....i don't remember why i decided to go to one? i don't need one....i'm fine.

I Love Ohad.
Officially. he told me the other day that he loves me, and all i could think of to say was "you love me?"

decidedly a bad day today

hello!
feels like i haven't posted in yonks, eees things have happened. but is anyone really interested? i'd say...no. i'll sum it up in points:
- ohad said he loves me
-i told ohad i love him
-i decided to go back to therapy and had my first session yesterday
-the ukranian fuck buddy knows ohad and doesn't like him, told me to be careful of ohad
-the ukranian fuck buddy said he loves me
-im broke
-i feel ugly today
-i miss ohad
-i have no patience, i want to fight somebody
-my clothes are boring me
-i love my friend Rina
-i miss my family
-i need to sleep

I LOVE MY PILLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ohad - i just wanted to say his name before i go to sleep.
lyla tov (good night in hebrew)

FUCKING OHAD! or as pat calls him....Nonads.