The School Girls Guide To The Galaxy

My eyes sprang open, wide with shock.

“Um, I hate to be a pain in the backside.. but, uh, what you’re doing is kinda a pain in MY backside

DRAMATIC DRUM ROLL
cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha SHIZZZZZZ-ZAAAAAAAAM!

-A bang and a flash of light and a cloest appears-
-Close up shot on the handle turns-
-The door opens.. and SARAH IS INSIDE AND DOESNT SEEM TO BE MOVING!!!!!!!!!! CALL AN AMBULANCE!

Oh well, at least she has her laptop in there and access to sites like this.

Well, first of all, kia ora everyone. Sorry about the above, I can tend to get a little over excited.

Manual

Right my dear,
I’m going down.
I’m going to drive you in manual,
Broom broom broom.

What’s this?
WHATS TAKING SO LONG?
Geez.
It’s been like,
A minute.
And I’m driving as fast as I can.

Brooooooooooooooooooom
Broom broom broom,
Nearly done honey?

..What?

Why are you looking at me like that?

No I do NOT only care about myself!
I’m your man and I want to please you!

The Core of the Matter

They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
Well then,
I guess I got mushed,
And stuck on someone’s shoe.

This apple thinks that is the core of the matter.

I am stick to death,
Of how I can’t branch out into ME.

They say the best way to make an apple crumble,
Is to torture it for ten minutes.
All I want,
Is for them to leaf me alone.

That is where it all stems from.

Looking at Me Funny

Looking at the wild blue yonder,
Outside the open door.
It isn’t actually there.
But,
the neighbours are.

..They’re looking at me funny.

How odd that they should find my eccentric ways amiss.
All I’m doing is sitting.
On a cat.
Oops.
They’re looking at me funny.

Flick a finger in their general direction.
The result is quite a hoot.
I was wrong before.