Well I need your help. I have a friend..who is also my roommate and as much as i love her...she insists that i am gay...which is not the problem, because she is, but the problem is that i am bi not gay..how do i tell her that. and when i have she jsut never seems to get it. the otehr part of my problem is that i am not sure that i am actually bi or gay for that matter...everytime i finally settle
well i don't coem here often anymore but i was looking around adn realized that teh same posts are still up as were 3 days ago when i looked around. Wow what has happened to oasis???? Why does no one come anymore adn how come no one ever posts??? I guess i shouldn't complain as i am no better but this site was so energetic when i started adn it seems like no one has teh time to spend here..how utt
so the other night was interesting. I was laying bed and my friend in our conversation asked if i would even have sex with her i said no. She got super pissed at that...Anyone got any reason for why she is pissed? I don't e it.I liked her at one point adn she said she wouldn't date me, but now i am glad i never dated her because we would so have not lasted long. I jsut don't understand her.
So on to problem number 2 - Norm thinks that ii have this huge crush on him because i said he was sexy one night when iw as super drunk. I don't like him that way at all, but he is so obsessive over it. I don't get it. Does he like me? or am i jsut crazy? he is confusing adn last night was weird. I was sittinf on the counter adn he was filling a bucket i was watching him do it adn then he caught my gaze and wee heldit for a while , until i looked away. It as really strange. and he didn't laugh or say anything so i know that he didn't do it to be stupid. What the hell does it mean?
Wow I have not been on here in a while adn when i look around i realize that i have no idea who alot of therse people are and alomost no ones who's entries i used to read seem to be around. I guess even though it's been like a month i still really haev nothing to write about my life is going no where and i am still unemployed. I am hough having a great time not living at home. I like living with my friends. I think it's bringing me closer to them. I feel like I am getting that connectiion back taht we all lost for so long because we never saw eachother.. Although i may be getting closer to otheres i feel liek i have lsot alot of other peopl in this transition and even peole i know i could be close with i have drifted apart from. Lynsey adn i fight everytime we talk or spend time to gether. only god knowes why we fight so often. the otehr day i begged jill not to invite her over becuasde i was not int eh "mood" for her so to speak. it's really horrible to say that you have to be int eh right "mood" to hang out with someone who is suppose to be your friend or thinks you are there friend. I feel really bad because we are suppose to got the bar his weekend with her adn we are all dropping it. i don't like bars that much tehy are so overrated adn i can't drink much anyway...makes em horrily sick..but anyway i don't know it's jsut not htat fun.
well lets see I have tottaly not updated or even been on oasis in a really long time. So I am totaly moved to the city now. I am having lots of fun so far. Althugh job finding is extremly hard and unsuccessful at the moment. I am hopeull that it will get better though i applied for 7 jobs today. hmm i am home for hte weekend now, which is good. I found a brownie unit in the city which is really why i had to come home. i lereft all my guiding stuff here not thinking that i would need it until later on turns out camp is next weekend woot. we only have like 10 girls but that is enough i suposse. hmm i don't really know what else to write. I am not in teh mood to write lots right now. so maybe later i can write more. on second though t i remember why i went to write this entry in teh first place so maybe i will do that.
As much as I love my job. I am so very glad that it is almost over. MY boss is a jack ass...ah lets not go there and the kids are so not good anymore. They are extremly disrepectful...and you would think that if you picked up your child adn they were sitting in time out that ou would ask y..I sure as hell would want to know, but nayway...we have had several kids in time outs way longer than 5 minutes like usual. Many have been sitting in time out for HOURS....that is no joke you guys..it's is getting so bad that we put them there adn tehy sit there until they are picked up, go inside or we change activities..it's ffucking ridiculous
well i was lets just say very drunk this weekend. It was fun my paretns are gone until friday and i am all alone so i tottaly had people over. Friday nite was fun not much happened, travis adn i talked a lot...geexz i love that boy. I swear that if he had drugs on him i would have done it too..and that is really bad because i don't like drugs at all. Then it was saturday nite. wow was last ite fun...alot of action going on.
i tried to embed it but it wasn't working sry
Ok is anyone else out there so sic of hearing how god hates us adn that christians are going to send us all to hell? I know I am. As a Christian I don't believer any of that crap is true and i don't think of homosexuality is a sin either. God created me adn besides he forgives sins anyway. I am so tired of reading things that say shit like that. It doesn't amke anysense. Hell my church does same - sex marriages!!!! I think it's awesome. I really jsut wisht aht people would stop putting all christians in some kinda of box that can't be touched and saying that we are all teh same. It's not true at all..infact all of my church is extremely open minded..maybe minus some of the really old crazy people..but they don't count anyway.
If there is 1 thing I hate about meeting no people..online or in person, it's when the question of partners comes up. I hate when people go "So do you have a Boyfriend??" It makes me kinda go ahh what has our world sucummed to?. But I guessyou can't expect people to be tolaterent to others all the time. I get so sick of trying to subtly tell people that I don't like boys. I know i could tottaly jsut say no, no boyfriend.
Not to sure where to start. My mind is like crazy and it's all the fault of going to this camp as a one on one worker. Which btw was aweseome. I had alot of fun..met some hot girls and guys. I got to do some cool things I had never done before, LIke zipline...that was awesome. Scary though. The only problem with the camp was that it was very very Mennonite. Which is fine in someways, but it was awkward. I found that i felt really out of place. It's not that I have anything against being mennonite, it's jsut that they seem to be alot more embracing of christianity than people who are United do(which I am) ( for those of you who are going wtf??? Christianity has many subcatagories so to speak and each is a little different) I believe in god adn I embrace it to my own degreee, but parts of jsut think that the bible has some really disagreeable things in it. I beleive that the bible is the words of god, but that some parts where maybe interpreted wrong.
I feel so alone, like physically alone. I really feel so left out in my little town with little to no connect with my out of city friends who are all working in remote areas this summer. Courts and Jill are together and wqork long hours at a resort so they never get online or even answer their cells. I think I felt the eefect of losing them for the summer today the most..it's Courts 18th Birthday and it's weird not to be there and I feel horrible that I can't be. This really makes me miss lynsey who is at camp, because I know that if I had gone too I would not be so lonely and that I would be able to see courts and jill anytime I wanted..the resort is 15 minutes from camp.I am really sad that lyns hasn't called yet I thought she might have. It's been over a week since I talked to her. But I know she is busy with teh kids at camp. I still miss her lots. Sheryl is at Guiding Mosaic so I can't really get in contact with her and tehn seh is heading to camp.
Thats right people it's Canada Day today. fireworks are in 3 and a half hours..doubt I will go though. I can't find my friends and some I just don't really want to call much less spend the evening with tonite. I was supposed to go to winnipeg to stay with my friend yesterday, but things happened. This pass week was grad and more grad and a whole lot more of grad stuff. so I am officially out of High School WOOT!!! Yah so by the end of the week I was very tired and on top of that I started my new job yesterday.
I am terribly bored today. i am not to sure, but in my boredness I remembered how much I loved this song, called babycakes, by 3 of a Kind. i tottaly recomend listening to it. I love it. hmm So also in my boredness I relized that I think my mother knows I am bi..well she probably thinks i am gay I certainly don't give off the "oh boys" vibe like I did when I was alittle younger. I was on the laptop and relized that I forgot to clear the history last time I was on so When I was on here and Gaycanada. com it was still in the browser..opps. I think I have done that before too. I would be very suprise if she did not know by now. So I have been thinking that I should tell her, but I don't really know how to approach the subject with out it seeming weird and out of place, and having my dumbass brother hear too. It makes me wonder though why she has not said anything to me about it if she has knowen as long as I think she has. But then again i could tottaly be paranoid and she could not have a fricken clue. hmm I don't know..a part of me jsut kinda wants to shout it out every now and then, but then I think that i still have to live her for the rest of the month and maybe the summer too. I am moving at the end of august so it might be better to tell her then, when I am settled and don't have to see them everyday and also have people all around to be like "Meaghan don't freak out you dumbass" hmmm I wonder how many times I have heard that one before...hahI am very excited to move on a lighter not though. I think that it will be good and fun too. I mean 3 girls in 1 house and jill who wil be there aften too we will always be having fun. We will be party house. haha HECK YES!!
I was on BOLT today, it's a really fun profile site. I usually have alot of fun looking around on there, but today it jsut seemed kinda dissapointing to look at peoples profiles i found 10!! count em 10 !!!!girls whose profile said that they were through with boys so now they are gay!!! haha it so doesn't work that way and i don't think these girls realize that it's people like them who give those of us who are actually GBLT a bad name.