so i was newly elected the vice president of my colleges alliance which is in the top five groups of this college. and as a freshman!!!! anyways, since i was newly elected a huge load of work was dropped on me which i love but sometimes trying to deal with my responsibilities with the group and school and my girlfriend doesnt leave as much time as i had with my friends. one of my friends actually got mad at me because i told her i would watch some tv with her yesterday and i did but it was only an hour and she told me i wasnt giving enough effort.

its that space between
neither dreaming or awake
when i feel you still

Question: how do you guys have sex?
answer: look it up!

Question: If you fell in love with a guy would you marry him?
Answer: if you fell in love with some of the same gender would you marry them? the truth is im not attracted to men. im not going to give an absolute. wierd things happen. but im gay and i dont see myself ever falling for a man.

Question: is it a choice?
Answer: my personal belief is very diffrent and very similar with many others. i believe our basic attractions. our primal instincts. desire, passion, lust, love i believe those are all results of somehting out of my control. what is it? im not sure. many study think it happens in your development. you dont gety enough of your assigned hormone. but im not sure all i know is you cant control those feelings. those desires. supress it? yes but never get rid of them. i do believe living as a homosexual person is a choice. me having a girlfriend is a choice i make yet my attraction isnt. living in that "lifestyle" is up to you. doi you deny what you feel for the pleasure of society or embrass your thoughts, feeling, and desires.

Chapter 3

Carter walked over to her locker and smiled. She saw Laney Jacobs books fall out of her locker. She giggled to herself and moved quickly. As she bent down she took a quick peak into Laney’s locker. It was clean, organized and very, very clean. She smiled and grabbed a book. Just then Laney looked up and they locked. Carter felt her whole body swoon. Those eyes, she thought, those eyes are going to be the death of me. Carter smiled innocently and held the book up for Laney. Laney seemed caught until carter held the book out and then grabbed it and looked at her watch.

Chapter 2

Carter woke in a start and took a look around. She was in an unfamiliar place. Suddenly she remembers what happened and felt her face as the pain started pouring into her brain. She sat up and found her shoes and quickly pulled them on. With a deep breath she stood and crept out the door.
“Hey, sport.

Chapter 1

The New Jesus. That’s what the news was calling him. Adam Jacobs posed on the front of the magazine. Holding a bible in his left hand and making an exaggerated movement with his other. The man’s dark hair and pale blue eyes showed a stern look in his eyes. His black tailored suit was crisp and wrinkle free. Laney sat on her bed and looked down at the cover not wanting to look at the article. Why wasn’t she as proud as everyone else? She got up and placed the article on her nightstand and sat back down on her bed. She hesitated in turning on the television knowing his face would be plastered on it. She picked up her cell phone and punched in Elise’s number and waited for the rings. When she didn’t answer, Laney left a message and then hung up. Her mother walked in and put away her clothes in the drawers without a word and then, as if for the first time seeing Laney.

I watched her when I was younger
Doing chores and making meals
Sometimes I swear she’s still here with me
At least that how it feels

She used to read me stories
When I lay down at night
Now when I shut my eyes
She seems to fade from sight

Every time I wake in sweat
She came and sat near my bed
Always there for me
She very quietly said

Then one day I woke
Late in the middle of the night

Who are you to preach to me?
About some man I could never see
Preaching of his love for all
All except for me

Because I love someone
Who is the same sex as I?
That gives you right to judge me
And pull gods love aside?

Have you even read that book
That you so firmly grasp?
If you did you would find
That loving is your number one task

But you seem to skip those words
That hold basis for your belief

i dont want to sleep- not that i could if i wanted to
see im okay during the day
when the sunlight comes across my face in warmth
i can sleep then but yet i awake
dreaming of your face wishing i could solve this case
of the robbing of my heart
but i walk through the day
my head pulled down looking at the ground
thinking of you
im still okay when this happens- i still can live
i can fake a smile and laughter