Why do I feel so detached from everything?
Is it a sign of a problem when I become so detached I don't 'feel' like I have any more problems?
Like a cancerous growth inside me that I haven't discovered or have learnt to ignore -
But I no longer feel its pain either.
So what difference does it actually make? Is it true that you need problems to make you more human, to make you understand the highs and lows, to make you empathise better?
Why is this all about outcomes? Is there something else just... intrinsically wrong about it?
I made the cast for the german play at my university!
I'm so excited I haven't acted since high school and this would improve my german so much.
Lots of good news lately. I also got chosen as one of two trainees to go to this national debating tournament. Also, I am potentially going to AMUNC in July (Australasian Model United Nations Conference) - pending how much the university is willing to subsidise us.
And the boyfriend's been goooood. We've gotten over our rough patch and we tidied my room yesterday and I bought him dinner (Thai food). It was soooo nice.
You know what I don't like about some people? How they look down on or label people who party, drink and use drugs as not getting anywhere in life. There's this conception that if you party and drink that much, you must be 'conforming', an arsehole, or intellectually challenged.
i don't even care
(but I do)
I don't want it
I just want to write this down. Process my emotions.
No one is an island. But sometimes I just want to be one.
I cheated on my boyfriend, and I promised I would never hurt him. Why does cheating come with such absolute and universal stigma? It's always focused on the victim, I just wish people also understood cheaters are not simply malicious people wanting to hurt their partners. I just wish people understood while cheating may be an act done with voliton, people aren't without flaws and there are mitigating factors and a narrative behind everything.
I don't like complaining about problems, because complaining is admitting that it's a problem.
First law class this week
First person sat next to me
First thing he said to me
'What do you think about Libya?'
'What effect do you think the US intervention will have?'
I found it hilarious - who does that? Just because you got into law school you suddenly read the news, like telling people about the news... and forget how to socialise properly?
He was also a fat fuck
Lots of arrogant people in law school, this is gona be fun
(because I'm also one of them)
Yes I do
Resumed my gym routine today, I miss that feeling, that rush you get after you push yourself. I figured that's just what I needed - right now I feel much more alive.
I've also moved out recently. Things are starting to fall into place. I'm saving a lot of money cooking my own meals, and also appreciating cooking itself. My boyfriend's over a lot and he helps keep things in order. I'm a domestic idiot. My god there are still so many things to do (assembling some furniture I bought, putting a wash on, taking shirts to the dry cleaners etc. so on)
Since I'm a freak I'm doing Summer School while everyone's on break. And since I'm a mega freak the paper I'm doing is called Philosophy of Law. I got my essay back on Friday and it was an A+! And what's even more exciting is that our lecturer is a guest lecturer from Australia National University and she suggested that I try and publish it in an undergraduate law journal! She is now advising me, and although she said no promises I'm stoked!
Full Silk Square Scarf $189-->$30
Red WORLD Skinny Jeans $245-->$105
Black WORLD Dress Shirt $189-->$50
Grey Marcs Wintercoat $369-->$169
Red Marcs Hoodie $149-->$25
I LOVE SALES
I'm going to sleep
So much stuff to pack and shit.
At least my wardrobe is looking amazing!
I apologise for the double post, but this is concerned with a completely different subject matter. I've been thinking for about a week, about how inactive I've been. So from now on I'm going to write an opinion piece once in a while on something I've recently read that I think is interesting, controversial, or topical.
My friend just called me up earlier and told me they found a nice townhouse to share in the CBD! It's not too bad, $180 a week and twenty minute walk from the university (which is pretty damn close). I'm excited and nervous at the same time... new chapter in my life ahhhhhh.
Technically I'm not moving out either I've been homestaying for years and this year I've been cooking and doing everything myself. But it definitely is big news!