My friend just went all depressed on me and I had no idea what to say to him. I try to do the most listening, but I don't know what to say when I feel like I have to something. I gave some shit advice, I was a hypocrite and now I'm in a really down mood as well.
My other friend also picked up that I have a crush on this one guy (I have like 3 major crushes)... this friend can be a really arrogant bastard sometimes and now he's annoying the crap out of me because that.
I can't find a good reason to wait for something I don't know
But you're so deeply rooted into my mind
The winds bring the sound of you to my ear
And the scent of your body to my senses
I think I might start missing you,
But I just came across you in my life.
Still when I look in the water I see your face
A face so clear, but so far below the surface I can't reach
This feeling lives by me everday,
Okay, about two entries ago I was talking about this bisexual guy that has a crush on me (I inferred from his actions and speeches which was rather obvious that he did) but I don't like him the same way. I was planning on telling me last Friday at youthgroup but I went to see a drama production instead. I was planning to tell him on the phone some time when nobody was home but everyone was home for the whole week. I was planning to tell him maybe this Friday at youthgroup but Nick invited me to go bowling. Blah, so heck... today when he was on MSN saying all this stuff to me agen I felt really uncomfortable and I decided I can't wait anymore. I made sure he was there, and then confirmed whether he liked me more than a friend. Then I made it clear to him that I only like him as a friend. He was silent for a long while and then said he understood (in a rather depressing way). I'm glad I made my point across.
Woah, during English class today which we sat in our groups and wrote our debating speeches... I was sitting beside one of my crushes. When I was explaining something to him he suddenly started stroking my hair lol. He stopped and did that again but I got a bit defensive (which I shouldn't have done) because there were people around me. Omgosh, I was like blushing lol. I asked him why he did that and he said something about "hair fetish".
Okay umm, how do I say this. Well.. recently my sister has been really upset with our caregivers (note I don't live with my parents, I live in a homestay family with my sister. My parents work on the other side of the world).
She thinks they haven't lived up to their responsibilites and hates the way they do things which I agree to an extent. However, now she's all like ignoring them and locking herself in her room and isn't even going upstairs for lunch and dinner. It's been going on for three days... she goes out everyday, refuses to talk to our caregiver or go upstairs and she's always on the fone with dad and mom or someone and in an extremely grumpy mood.
Okay, there's this guy at this Christian youthgroup. He's 15 and bisexual and generally a nice guy. However, he started an obsession over me... kind of wanting me to talk to him all the time on msn. He's been calling me on the phone for three days (twice I said I was busy because I was). He says he loves me, and hearts me more than anything... and he puts my photos as his display pictures and texts me during school (he goes to another school) saying how he can't concentrate because he's thinking about me.
Wow, I have such a bad habbit of leaving stuff around. Despite my untidy room it's not just any stuff...
Remember last stuff I let my sister borrow my computer? Well, I didn't realise I had pictures of guys making out on... so she accidentally saw it and minimized it and pretended nothing happened.
This time its something like that, she came into my room... got a bit retarded and pointed my shaver at me.
Hmm, yeah well I met this guy on mogenic that's around my place. He invited me to go to this youthgroup today, it was fun and he's a really really nice guy. I also met a lot of my old friends at the youthgroup which was another awesome thing about today. Well, when we both got home we talked on msn from 11 pm to 2:30 am. Now I'm so tired I have to get to sleep. Cyah guys!
I did something really really stupid today (or technically, it's yesterday since its already 1am bcoz I was so tired and I fell asleep after dinner until now).
I feel terrible for doing it.
Edit: Shit, I realised how philosophical and waffling this entry ended up being...//
Here's a little update on what I've been up to in my holiday "trip" over the past 1-2 weeks.
Well, the first day (two weeks ago) I was at home having a rest, the second day my dad took us back to see our grandparents. Everything seemed fine.
The third day my dad went to work but at noon my dad called saying Grandma had passed away.
Since fall break started I have had little to do... my flight is 2moro and I really should start packing. It shouldn't take too long tho. =]
Well on Wednesday I was supposed to see V for Vendetta at the New Market cinema with Min, Jane and Betty. I got to the bus stop, texted Min saying I was waiting for my bus. She texted back. Then I was half way thru texting Betty when suddenly she called and was all like "I couldn't go cause mum can't take me (now)". We thought about going to see the one after that but that was at 9:30pm so we decided not to. While I was deciding whether I should still go and still on the phone with her, the bus went past without stopping... so urgh yes... I decided not to go. I texted Min saying Betty and I won't be going but she didn't reply. Only when I walked back into my house she called me and was like "Argh Max come! You guy are all ditching me." It really stinks for her coz she didn't check her phone until she got to the cinema lol. She told me Jane cancelled out too coz she preferred to go to her tutoring. So urgh yes, Min is going to have a great time at the cinema by herself.
Yus! Term 1 officially ended!
I'm going back to Taiwan (yes, I know agen...) to see my family and all that.
My dad's going to make me cut my hair... Meh... I dun want to... but then soon my school will MAKE me cut it or they'lll cut it for me lol. I want to wait until I get told off at school then I'll cut it. Hmm.
I should dye or highlight my hair this holidayz. Any suggestions on colours? Daniel says he's dying streaks of blue lol.
I saw the school counsellor today. I did not really like seeing a counsellor because I hate people finding out. To be honest he is a nice person but I didn't really think his feedback was very helpful. He almost just repeated everything I thought of or already knew. I didn't really even know why I went and saw him.
(I get amused by the most boring things but..)Well, guess what else happened else happened today. First of all, at interval Daniel was trying to finish a bottle of H2GO as fast as he could and I was timing him if he could finish it under 30 seconds but he drank too fast and suddenly he puked out the water that was in his mouth lol. Heck that was funni I wish I caught that on video xD. It was like super embarrassing for him lol.
This is the first text I got on my wonderful Sunday morning. I never really thought my crush would send a text to me out of nothing.. but hey.. it's just a chainmail.
Here's what it says:
So promise me we'll F.U.C.K 4eva!
Send this 2 10 ppl & 1 bak 2 me. To kno who ur true F.U.C.K buddies are!
Lol.. that's crack up. I sent one back...
"We gather here today to mourn the passing of Kalie Water. Who is also a loving friend, sister, daughter as well as a devoted civil union partner."
Teagan clenched her fists tightly. She was unable to unleash herself like those near her, who were drowning the church in a form of tense misery. It would be understandable and conventional for her to do the same but it is not her philosophy. She is not going to shed torturing tears.