Well this is about the crap day I've been having. I haven't actually had a bad day for a few weeks. I mean, I have times when I'm low but for the past weeks I can be postive, optimistic and confident and ride it through without feeling extremely messed up. But today.. it's just total whoreyness.
I forgot the bring my wallet to school today and I lost my pe gear at school. Grr I can't find it it's really annoying.
Heyoz people. This is a seperate journal entry from my other one created just minutes ago because the other one focuses more on that one single event that happened today and this one will just be a general overview of things that happened in the weekend.
For the main thing that happened today - refer to here.
Ah... the irony. Today I went to new market with my sister (Oh Yay! Family Bonding!) because she needs to fix her laptop. We were waiting at bus stop and I started talking to her what people are like.
Okay you dirty little whore mouse button made me refresh the page and I have to retype this. Rah! Okay thank God I'm in a good mood or I might go eat a zonkey or something.
Hmm okay yeah that crush of mine. I'll call him Sam.
Whoop! Last day of February!
Oklies, another thing I need to improve on is not be tempted so easily by things I want. I've been buying too much food lately 'cause I'm just hungus like that. So I spent all my allowance on food this week (Hory crap I sound like some compulsive eating mofo). But neways I'm still lanky as a stick so I also find that odd.
After hours of studying and crap, I've got MOST of my homework done. School's really getting to become a pain in the arse. It's 11:30 pm already and I'm yearning to get my shower.
I am the only constant in my life*****
Don't beat myself over things****
Don't be too hard on myself***
I can be myself free from depression*****
Perfectionism is far-fetched****
If I take care of the small things, the big things will follow*****
No family is perfect**
I have great friends that I don't always acknowledge***
The Grand Garden
I open my eyes
It seems like it was still a dream
But no longer does it matter
What they say true remains truth
No longer does doves symbolise peace
Those vultures scavenge among wingless angels
When did ‘it' start feeling alone?
They say it was always like this
Maybe we ought to believe
But when children diseased
I feel so alone right now. I want to talk to someone but I just don't want to talk about it either. I feel like I want to do something yet I want to stay in solitude. This is so messed up.
Okay so school's started and all... we get so much homework this year... and I have so much commitment like volleyball (which I'll probably drop =\), debating, science national brain challenge, piano and extra tutoring this term I just can't manage enough time to do the things I love.
Okay, well well well. Sorry about the title I have a tendency to put random things up there when I can't think of anything. So umm... this just a little update.
Okay, right now it's past 4am and I've been up the whole night. I'm merely posting this to get stuff off my mind because there's been so much I had to absorb over the past hours. I can not think or engage in critical thought at this very moment, perhaps all I'm writing is simply an act of reflex, an urge to pour out the emotions within me.
With the Overseer
Okay, so I'm ranting on agen, after my recent fucked up depression... today I was out with some friends then I lost my wallet somewhere. There were like $200 bucks and a $50 bus card along with my key, ID card and other shit. This is really pissing me off, that money took me ages to save, and I thought I would treat myself to some new clothes after feeling so fucked up with the money I saved throughout the year...