Met this guy on Gaydar, lives in the same town as me. We met up just as friends and everything, and I made that perfectly clear, but nevertheless we did go for a meal and it was kind of a date. Anyway, we got really drunk and he kept talking about how cute I was and stuff. And he invited me back to his, but I said no.
Anyway we ended up making out for ages, and we had to keep moving along because these 2 guys were behind us going the same way as us. Anyway we found a little secluded bit, and we could no longer hear the straight guys. Anyway, they walked past without us hearing and we pulled away really quickly, and they kept staring at us. Hah. After a few minutes once they disappeared from sight we heard "You make me sick" being shouted from far away. That was kinda lame, but we just laughed it off really.
Okay, I had a really cool long weekend (Fri-Mon). I didn't actually have a Friday because of work, but Saturday..oh I think I got drunk at home, I can't really remember that far back.
Anyway, Sunday was really fun. Went to our local club, absolutely packed and I was so pissed I didn't even notice. I saw Kirsty (the girl I first came out to), we love each other to pieces in front of everyone totally went insane when I saw her. She jumped on me and wrapped her legs around me and we were just like "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!", lmao. So drunk. She was with some guy who like kept giving me evils. Honestly, straight people are so fucked.
Pink at G-A-Y was fucking amazing. So many people are saying it was better than when Madonna was there, and she's apparently broken the record for longest act to play there (it was 1hr 15mins, and she played something like 17 songs).
I was very close to being at the front of the stage, I was only a few lines back! She looked directly into my eyes, I knew all the words and most of the crowd at the front was smaller than me, so I was tall enough to get noticed. Oh it was so cool. She looked at me!!! *dies*
I did it. I came out to my mum.
Oh my god, I feel so...I don't even know, I'm a bit drunk. Well, quite drunk. But like, I don't feel much different. But now I feel like I could come out to the entire world.
She was totally accepting. We discussed how a couple of years back she said she would be disappointed, and she explained she didn't mean she would be disappointed in me, but rather, she would be disappointed FOR me that I couldn't have children, that people would prejudice me and that I wouldn't experience some of the wonderful experiences that she's felt.
Okay so like, wtf.
Me and my mum are big fans of p!nk, as I know a lot of people on this site are. Well, she's playing live at G-A-Y on Saturday, and it's only £18 entry...and I like mentioned this to my mum and was all like "Oh it'd be cool to see her, but the venue is a gay bar." And she was like "So? Let's just go."
My mum wants to take me to a gay bar to see P!nk. Could this get any weirder. And she's talking about inviting her boyfriend along too.
I hate getting my haircut. It's an utter trauma every single time. Tomorrow, after putting it off for a couple of weeks and no longer being able to put up with my monstrously unkempt hair I'm going to get it cut. Really.
I say that confidently now, but tomorrow I may well report something else entirely, finding some excuse not to have done it. It's ridiculous really. So pathetic are the reasons that it is only through the medium of the Internet that I could actually express them.
I came out to my first person yesterday, whoo! We just went to a pub for lunch, and she's like bisexual and she already kind of knew, but I actually came out and properly said it. And so then she was all like "Oh my god I have to take you to London to go to Soho." And I was like, "Well let's just do it now." So we did :)
Went to London around..oh I dunno, 8.30pm (I live only 20 mins by train). Then we went to Camden first of all, for like a couple of drinks in just normal straight bars, just had a funny time, people watching and stuff. And then we went over to Soho, went to The Village, which was just so nice, first time in a gay club and it was just like, OH MY GOD men kissing and being together. The world should be like that, seriously. You can just be yourself and nobody judges you or looks at you funny, that's what I love about London.
I thought about a poll recently about how loving (or liking) a person who did not reciprocate felt. Whilst I won't delve into the complex situations and emotions that can surround such situations, I found some sober (and sombre) lyrics in Leann Rimes's song Insensitive
Okay, got seriously drunk last night. Big time. Same on Saturday. However, rather than the alcoholic sitting at home drinking 3 bottles of wine to myself kind of drunk, I was out clubbing. Anyway, I had a brilliant weekend and woke up feeling happy. Yay.
So then I phoned my mum, just to see if I did anything the night before - naturally, I don't remember coming home or going to bed or much of anything. And sometimes I do stupid things like leave the grill on and nearly make the house explode. She said, "We need a long chat when I get in" - but she said it in a caring way, not a stern way. My immediate thought was "Oh my god I've said I'm gay or something", and because she's at work she refused to say what it was. But then she said it was something "dangerous", on a par with blowing up the house. I asked her if it was a "life changing" thing, and she said "No of course not" but that it could have been a "life ending thing."
Right, as much as I staved off writing something about this, the pull of Oasis has won me over. I just HAVE to write something before I go mad.
Last night we went to a pub for a drink after a really nice day out with friends. We were going to have a BBQ and shit, but once people got home everyone was "too tired" or "had too much homework", so just me and a friend got kinda disappointed (because we don't act like 40 year olds). Anyway, later on my friend phoned me to go to the pub, so we did. When there we met two guys from school, one of them is quite out to everyone, but at the same time, isn't. I don't know if that makes sense, but there we have it.
And so Easter falls upon us. Today is the one day I get paid for not going to work. Whoo!
I completely wasted it of course, converting 24 and burning it to DVD, then watched it. Could have got some coursework done, but didn't. I feel a bit bad now, and I'm starting to get butterflies as the return day (Thursday) to school looms. Eek!
Mum commented today on how many cars she saw outside the church. We started discussing religion. I kind of thought it was stupid how these people go to church in their droves and the rest of the year they don't do it at all. Why are people so compelled to go at Easter? If you're going to believe in God, do it properly. We also laughed at the prospect of ME getting up on a Sunday morning to go to church. Then I thought to myself how they could make it a bit more entertaining. Half of the reason people have gone off religion is that it's BORING.
I bought P!nk's new album I'm Not Dead. It's not bad but it's not as good as Misundaztood...I like Who Knew, Dear Mr. President and Leave Me Alone. Despite the elementary school political opinions illustrated in Dear Mr. President, I did like:
What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away?
What kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay?
This song features the Indigo Girls who I've never heard of but are apparently out lesbians. Anyone else heard their stuff?
God my life is so boring!
I am becoming a little publically gay. I got really drunk round someone's house, and good lord, I don't remember a thing. Reports on Monday morning were not good though. Apparently I lap danced someone. A guy. Argh! I had 3 bottles of wine mind you. On the other hand I managed to walk home all by myself which I thought was a rather impressive feat. Some friends watched me walk down the street, and I was described as "Bambi learning to walk". Perhaps this subconcious gay acting is going to get more and more out of hand to the point where I can no longer deny it? Maybe the time of coming out is coming? Who knows. I certainly don't feel like it when I'm sober. Anyway..
During the latter part day I had a big Beautiful South moment. They are really famous, so if you don't know who they are, get your act together and Google/iTunes them.
Anyway, a strange coincidence occured today. They sing a lot of songs which are "talked", so far as they don't sing them in the typical poppy/rocky way of a song, but in a more theatre-musical way. So anyway I was thinking today, "wouldn't this be cool if they sang a homosexual-supportive tune" and, lo and behold, 2 hours later I literally stumbled across their song '101% Man'. It's a pretty good song. Nothing spectacular, but I like it. If you have 79p to spare and ITMS, download it. The lyrics are: