I've been recently venting my opinions, including homophobia, on another medium that goes beyond text. YouTube is now my place of ranting, although I might post here as nobody in my "real life" knows I post here, and it's nice to come here.

Anyway, check out my YouTube page, www.youtube.com/MentalityUK - subscribe! hehe :P

I posted a video that was rather popular about Sally Kern, which no doubt most American visitors to OasisMag has heard about due to her outrageous homophobic comments she made a few weeks ago. Feel free to give me a hand battling the homophobes who have been rather vocal on that video's comments page :-)

I can't believe how far I've come personally since joining Oasis. Thanks Jeff! :-)

Being wanted is a funny thing, something I've considered recently in moments of self pity.

Most of us all have a yearning to be wanted by someone else. It's the basis I suppose of relationships with boyfriends/girlfriends. Being wanted by another, above all others. You are his, He is yours. Beyond that we have "best" friends, or family members we're really close to.

I'm second best to everyone I know. Kirstie has Dean. Terry has Sam. Holly has Natalie. Gemma has Luke and the kids. Dad has Jacqui, and, well, I certainly wouldn't qualify as his favourite even if she weren't around! I am nobody's "one" person, I am nobody's "top" friend, though I make it on to quite a few "top 8" lists! Not so much as a pet dog.

I had Alex, who then on Monday decided the long distance thing wasn't working, and that he felt "restricted" because he hasn't had the chance yet to go out and "experiment". Breaking up with a layer of BS on top is so tiresome, particularly when no matter how clued you are on the cliches, their protestations that it's the truth comforts you. But deep down you know.

And so I go back to sitting here, second best, Bridget Jones style, holding a glass of wine and listening to Amy Winehouse. Even she has Blake. Pathetic.

Well, happy new year and all that.

For me it hasn't got off to a good start, but it never does. Fell out with a close friend, but I'm not going to dwell on it. Pushing on.

Still with Alex, 5 weeks and 3 days now! lol. Met up in London again just before Christmas, had another nice (but very cold) day.

I'm worried about some stuff and my manic depression isn't helping any, some days up, some days down, some days worried, some days thinking I'm being stupid. Very irritating.

Anyway, don't feel much like writing, but thought I'd post something :)

So, it turns out we couldn't last a month of being single lol.

Looking back at my posts I've gone against everything I said I would adhere to - a level head, reason and logic.

However, when me and Alex tried to stay single we were just using the words and acting like we were in a long distance relationship regardless, and it seemed pointless to continue the charade. So I phoned him and we made it official - boyfriends! That word sounds kind of juvenile to me, but I don't care quite frankly.

4 days and counting - my second longest relationship yet lol.

It is annoying not being able to touch each other, though a blessing in some ways for me. Nevertheless, it's nothing a webcam and a good combination of adjectives and verbs can't solve ;) It's more that this guy who I couldn't, and can't, stop thinking about is now mine and he reciprocates those emotions that makes me happy. We hope to meet up again in London either mid-December just before Xmas or early to mid January. One or the other.

No matter what happens, I love him :-)

Wow.

So, since my last posting, about being bitten by the lurve bug, there's been a little development in the drama.

So this guy messaged me on MSN and said he needed to speak to me about something but I was away from the computer. So I spoke to him the next day and he said he's going to break up with his boyfriend. I was thinking to myself, "is that it?" However, he then went on to say that he hopes I don't think he's a freak, but he's been thinking of me every single day since we met in London! Which is exactly how I've been feeling! And he thinks I'm amazing and we had this connection that he didn't feel with his boyfriend. He explained he only got with him because he was there, and thought I wasn't interested! So I explained how I had been feeling and he was like, "ohhhh my god" lol.

So then we kind of talked about what we were going to do because we had agreed not to do the long distance thing. But then I thought about it a bit more and I figured, well, it's not like he lives in Australia. And he is going to be moving down to London next September when he goes to uni so it's not a permanent thing. So, in the end we decided we'd stay single or in some weird open relationship thing for a month, and then meet up in London again just before or after Christmas, and then if we feel the same way, we'd go for it. Sounds sensible. Trying to keep a level head about the whole thing though, whirlwind relationships don't have the best reputation! I figured though if I don't take a chance then the end result is not being with him, so might as well just go for it. I feel sometimes you just have to take a leap into unknown territory if you're ever going to find out if something is going to work. Relationships aren't a mathematical equation and it could all end up going well, so maybe it's worth it.

I'm all loved up :-)

I haven't posted here for some time for no particular reason. I think when I first came to Oasis it was as a closeted 18 year old and now, here I am, more out than Jack McFarland and just turned 20 (Nov 2nd).

Despite the progress my life has made in respect to my sexuality my emancipation hasn't been all it's cracked up to be. I apologise in advance by the way as from this point on, despite my age, this is going to inevitably turn into one of those weepy teenage angst ridden journal entries about unrequited love.

And, in that short apology, I've pretty much told my story. I'll elaborate though. Something happened to me I had given up hope of ever happening - I fell for someone. Completely out of the blue. Sort of. I agreed to meet someone I knew online in London. Had such a lovely day together, both felt like we knew each other for a longer period than we actually had. Totally comfortable with each other. Completely romantic day! As usual I tried to maintain a level head, not getting too carried away, etc etc, but I just couldn't help how I felt - and I'd never felt like it before. Now, this guy doesn't live near London he lives in the midlands which is a good couple hours away by train. And we both agreed not to do the long distance relationship thing because... well it just sucks, usually. So 2 weeks later he has a boyfriend from his area. Why do I feel so shit about that? We weren't in a relationship or anything, yet I'm totally envious of this guy. It's really upset me, and I have absolutely no right to be upset!

I'm used to being an emotionless cunt, so, this is new to me. I just felt like writing something about it, to get it out of my system, I feel too much of a loser to tell anyone I know IRL.

I find myself feeling more and more isolated from this world that we live in. I mean, yes, I muddle through like everyone else – I'm no more or less intelligent than the average human, no more or less better looking than your average human either. I have no hidden talents, I can't play an instrument, I haven't a particularly amazing eye for fashion. Yet I also feel that I'm one of the increasing few who chooses to believe, without fear of reprisal or retribution, that certain things are hogwash. My disbelief in a God, be it in the form of Yahweh or Allah, and religion is reasonably well documented in other blog entries.

Religion, by the by, is not something my friend's suffer as an affliction, with the exception of a few. I do find increasingly though that people I speak to sit in this sort of pseudo-religious, pseudo-spiritual category of astrology and “alternative medicines”. And, as if my already sinful derogation of the supernatural weren't enough, do not for a second think I'm less likely to inflict a similar barrage of insults on this pile of crap as I do with the former. Am I sorry that it might offend? Perhaps. Am I regretful? Certainly not.

Let's start with the most popular trend, one which around half the population have adopted as an almost daily ritual. Reading your stars. Some (and I hope most) do it in a rather whimsical manner, not really believing in it, but with the train of thought that it doesn't do any harm. Others, like my mother, have actually paid money to have “their” stars read personally by the likes of Jonathan Cainer. Yes, for only £26.95 you can have the rest of your year mapped out and graphed, charted, recorded and some nice sub-editor can write a nice long essay on your future. All of course with similar vague phrases, or “cold reading” (look it up). The likes of Derren Brown, the famous illusionist, have clearly exposed these readings as, at best, confidence inspiring. I saw a recent very simple experiment of these daily horoscopes performed on TV. Capricorn's daily reading was given to 20 people in the street, 19 of which were varying starsigns and one was actually a Capricorn. 50% of the random participants said they could identify with it. The only single Capricorn of the group could not think how it linked with her life at all.

Yes, you might want to amusingly look over your stars whilst waiting for the kettle to boil. Please don't take them seriously and certainly don't make any important actions in your life based on what a daily (or yearly) “reading” advises you to do. Quite how they have wormed their way into our daily papers is beyond me. Quite how the demand for them jumped to such a proportion is mind numbing. Nevertheless this links back to the fact that I feel there is an increasing number of people who are turning to perhaps comforting, but nevertheless ridiculous, notions of our existence. To arrogantly believe the planets and their respective moons' movements are affecting our petty life circumstances is a joke. Astrology by the way is based on this belief, and it was created by a man in 2AD. Since then the Earth has tilted approximately 23 degrees, but the system has never changed. Please don't say you need more evidence than that?

But why should I think evidence convinces anyone nowadays? Why should I believe that logical, reasonable arguments based on hard facts that are practically slamming you in the face, would do anything to curtail this insanity? As a matter of fact I will send this blog to my mother, and whilst at best she might accept astrology as based on nothing but faith will continue to divulge in it. Why? I suspect the response will be some argument based on no evidence, but it will be anything but acceptance of fault, or conversion to a more sensible homepage on Internet Explorer than jonathancainer.com.

Okay, so astrology is not to be taken seriously. But what harm does it do, I hear you cry. Why attack it so vigorously? If some nutty woman (sorry, mum) wishes to participate in some harmless self-indulgence that makes her happy, why not? Well I suppose there is no harm in such a specific circumstance. However, if you look more broadly at the industry as a whole, it's basically a scam. Extortionate phone lines to hear your “in depth” readings, I've even cited one example of my own mother spending what ended up being a total of, I suspect, around £75 on readings for her and her family. A complete and utter swindle. These people (sorry, “astrologists”) don't just dabble in the world of the supernatural for the fun of it, like some sort of cosmological philanthropists. It's a multi-million pound scam, much like religion, but with less integrity from its leaders.

It gets worse. Moving on from astrology, we can move on to a rather more sinister profiteering industry which preys on people's illnesses. Homeopathy. This, if you're not familiar with it, is a type of alternative medicine which claims to cure “like for like.” In other words, think of it as curing “symptoms with something that causes that symptom.” So, if you have a rash, a homeopathic doctor might prescribe a medicine vial which contains a solution of water and ivy. This line of thought is almost plausible when you think of vaccines, but this momentary grant of interest is quickly evaporated when you look a little further. Homeopathic medicine is stronger, apparently, the more it is diluted. It is almost always diluted to the point where hardly any, if any at all, of the original molecules of the curing agent (i.e. Ivy) are left in the water. Effectively, you are being prescribed water. To put this another way, many homeopathic medicines come branded with something like '30c'. This means that the original agent is diluted in 100 parts water to the power of 30. Would you like that in a number? 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. That is one hundred nonillion. That is, if you took a drop of your curing agent, and put it in the ocean, you wouldn't even be close to how diluted your homeopathic medicine is. In fact, you would need all the atoms in our solar system. Not one molecule of your original substance would exist. Homeopathic doctors argue (against any evidence or science) that water has a “memory” which “somehow” remembers the effects of the cure.

Hilarious, right? Yes! It is! So why on Earth is it a medicine supported on the NHS? That's right kids. Your taxes (yes, you!) are actually funding homeopathic treatment centers on the National Health Service. It is this I object to, and this is precisely why such so-called harmless alternatives are damaging. If you want to be a loon, fine. Why should I pay for you? And, given the backing of the NHS, the loonies who read their stars and go to psychic readers and wear crystals around their necks, also believe in this. And it is this that delays their treatments of possibly other more severe diseases. I'd like to see a vial of water cure cancer. Taking homeopathy and putting it on the pedestal of miracle science is not only unjustified, it's dangerous.

No, no, no, I'm quite happy with my mispositioned chakras and misaligned yang thank you very much. Please wake up people.

So I got really drunk last night and slept with my ex. In the middle of town. I'm probably on CCTV shagging. How embarrassing. It wasn't even very good.

I don't know if it was our shared fear of flying to New York tomorrow, or the effect of the depressingly rare bout of sunshine we got this afternoon, but me and my sister, Gemma, had an intelligent conversation. It was rather insightful, so far as it affirmed my belief that I'm right about a lot of things because other people are, quite simply, ignorant. Yes I know, my arrogance would seem to know no bounds!

I find the worst kind of ignorant people are those who freely admit they are ignorant and don't care. They refuse to be educated on an issue because they have their beliefs. They mistake their right to have an opinion/belief as a right to be ignorant. That is unfortunately the category in which my sister falls. Such people can easily be identified simply by being asked to explain why they think something. Often the answer will be "because I do." Or, depending on context, "because it is."

For example, let's take this controversial conversation we were having in the garden this afternoon. Gay adoption. Or, more precisely, gay parenting. It's a sensitive issue, one that evokes the capriciousness of even the most steadfast homo-friendly liberal. She believes, as many do, that a child needs a mother and a father figure. Simple as that. It's worked for eons, why question it? Well, mainly because slavery worked for eons too - but not for everyone. Much the same way gay people are now actually seen as "people", and therefore, a lot of them naturally have a desire to be parents. The nuclear family works for some, not for others. Seeing as their, ahem, plumbing, doesn't allow for such a so-called miracle they are forced to turn to science.

I digress. The point is not that gay people want to be parents or that they can be. The point is, why shouldn't they be? In other words, and this is the question I posed to my ignorant sister, why is having same sex parents wrong? And thereon she revealed her ignorance, announcing, "because it is." Well I'm glad that's cleared up.

I'm a strong believer in basing an opinion on fact. Sometimes, in fact, a lot of the time, facts are presented by both sides of an argument. It is therefore your responsibility to choose which facts and figures you think are better. Usually better results can be identified as unbiased and not having some secret agenda. Particularly with this topic a religious undertone. Allow me to illustrate.

The Family Research Council (sounds posh, doesn't it?), points out that there is a correlation between homosexuality and pedophilia. They wrote a lovely essay about how us gay predators fancy young boys. I could also point out of course there is a correlation between rising global temperatures and the falling number of pirates on the planet. Of course if you were the kind of person foolish/stupid enough to believe that the FRC is anything but a fundamentalist Christian right wing group out to cast aspersions on any and every "practicing" homosexual, you probably wouldn't have read this far down my rant. Similarly it would be wrong of me to take statistics conjured up by a pro-gay group as they would probably be twisted, just in a less malicious way. So the solution to finding what I consider best opinions is to turn to non-biased groups solely concerned with studying the psychological and physiological effects of having gay parents on children.

One such group would be the famous American Psychological Association. They have much influence in the world of psychology. They state, and I quote,

"research has shown that the adjustment, development, and psychological well-being of children is unrelated to parental sexual orientation and that the children of lesbian and gay parents are as likely as those of heterosexual parents to flourish."

One concern I often hear raised is that having gay parents will encourage sexual bias (in other words, gay parents raise gay children). I've made the point before, but I'll make it again - I am living testimony to the fact that straight parents don't raise straight children. Why on Earth would gay parents raise gay children?

In fact the only argument I have seen raised that even closely resembles reason and logic is the scientific fact that children raised in 1 parent families do not fare as well as in families with a mother and a father. The fundamental flaw with this however, as you may have worked out, is that having two parents with ONE gender does not equal one parent. There is no evidence to suggest that lack of both gender roles is equal to having one parent.

So, if you're one of those intransigent people who look at the facts but continue to hold an opposite point of view based upon nothing but your personal convictions, at least spare a thought for the poor children likeminded individuals like yourself sentence to foster care. The ability of people such as yourself to sedulously avoid the ineluctable truth on such a vast range of issues, from the existence of God to gay parenting, never ceases to amaze me.

Amen.

I have many news agencies attached to my so-called personalised Google homepage, including the BBC, CNN, Foxnews.com and Reuters as well as Gay.com's UK and US branches. This has seemingly been named "iGoogle" which in turn seems to be a rather eerily biased hommage to Apple's naming trend.

However, (and I'm very sorry in feeling like this) but it's slightly frustrating to find that the 3 stories published are ALL (yes, all 3) relevant to HIV. Not all gay men are HIV+, including myself. That doesn't mean I don't care about HIV/AIDS issues, I really really do. I have given money to such causes as that's the only gesture I can practically participate in. BUT... there seems to be a stronger and stronger presence of affiliating HIV/AIDS infection with the general gay public, which is simply not true, and whilst I have no aversion to public awareness I do find myself irritated by the constant bombardment. It's like being told abstinence is the only cure for HIV-free infection which simply isn't true.

To put it more generally, I'm a gay teenager in the UK (lol, I'm still clinging to the label of "teenager") and I find myself at very low risk of ever becoming HIV+. So logging on to gay.com or any other news freed which summarises gay news from several sources, I find it very annoying when every single one of those stories relates to a breakthrough in HIV/AIDS healthcare - as if that's purely relevant to me because I'm gay?

Apart from finding a cure for cancer, there is nothing more I would love than to find out that a cure or semi-cure for HIV/AIDS had been discovered. That would be great news, and that's an understatement. I am not interested however on what the effects of depression might be upon sufferers of HIV. Or how kidney failure is more prominent in HIV sufferers. Such issues might be relevant in an online forum or magazine which is specifically read by HIV sufferers. But a website like GAY.com shouldn't lean so much towards reporting HIV issues.

When will governments realise that peace is not achieved through war? It never will be, no matter how powerful you think you are. Rome thought it was very powerful and that it could bully other nations into submission, flexing its muscles at every possible opponent. Indeed, it worked for awhile, but it had its very hard times. Thousands if not millions died throughout its extremely bloody history and it was eventually conquered (although admittedly not in a day).

Does this not remind you of any other country nowadays? Err, let's think.. the USA perhaps? Oh so powerful. Virtually limitless money at its disposal, a huge army, very advanced technology, some of the most elite soldiers in existence. At least, that's the way they were prior to September 11th. Ever since then cracks have been showing on the surface. Their limitless funding for the Iraq war was unjustified and not well spent, but with all the dramatics back then people were blinded by the pictures of horror. The shepherd's led the sheep into a war we really had no real perspective on. Oh the wonders of hindsight!

Now 4 years on, the US is spreading thin. They haven't got indisposable amounts of money nor indisposable amounts of troops. Its own citizens don't know if they want to be run by republicans and put up with this war any longer, or vote democrats to pull themselves out of the hole that's being dug for them by this mad man, but have to deal with a more liberal society (heaven forbid gays get even MORE rights!). The international community dislikes them, or at best finds them laughable/embarrassing...

And now they want to start a fight with Russia? Hardly wise. Consider the fact Russia didn't devolve unimaginable amounts of its own money, or its formidable army, into a despot country in some flimsy attempt to instill democracy into a country they royally fucked up without proper planning. Apologies for the pococurantism towards troops that have worked hard to not fuck it up, but that is nevertheless the result so far. The Russian president has said they (Russia and the US) have now entered an "arms race" again. Cold War anyone? Don't forget, Russia hasn't spread itself thin with a seemingly pointless war. I seriously worry who is in a stronger position.

The Russian president also laughably says, "These actions by Russia should not be feared." Yeah, right. They just fucking well fired what is essentially a warning shot. And naturally, George Bush being the stubborn Texan fool that he is will happily commit the lives of hundreds to death and unhappiness if it means saving face, under the guise of "ensuring US security." Err, question for Bush. How does installing a missile defence system help US security, when the very installation of such a system will in turn start a fight with a much more powerful country than the ones you're supposedly defending yourself from?!?!

Whatever the case, Russia shouldn't be trying to flex their pride and power. It didn't work for Rome, it didn't work for the UK, it doesn't work for the USA and it won't work for the Russians. All this bullshit ends in is more and more innocent citizens losing their sons and daughters in the crossfire of two big wigs in suits, pretending to know how to run a country. It's heart breaking to watch this unfold yet again, despite that we are constantly reminded what horrors war ends in - World War 1 and 2, Vietnam, Falklands, Iraq, Palestine/Iran.

Let's pray true politics breaks through and prevents this from spiralling (even more) out of control.

For the last few days I've started to not only contemplate, but accept, the possibility of suicide. Actually I think I've been thinking about it for years.

I was at a point where dying really scared me, and that's why I couldn't go through with it. But I've given some thought to the idea and I calmly and logically concluded I'd either do the hose pipe in a car thing or jump off a very tall building. I mean I hate my body for various reasons, few of which can be resolved with self-help or surgery. It's just I don't want to inflict the despair it would cause upon my sister, neice and nephew. I don't even care what it would do to the rest of my family or friends, I'm too unhappy to care. Just those three. That is the only thing stopping me.

It's sad and pathetic, I know. It's selfish too. I've given long thought to it, there's nothing anyone can say that would make me think any different.

I'm just left not knowing what to do. I'm gay so I'll not have children in any practical way and I don't think I want them right now anyway whatever the circumstances. I don't think if I had them in an unconventional way my family would love them in the same way as if I were straight. I'm likely to be lonely for the rest of my life due to my own hatred of my body. So all in all, I see a life of childlessness and loneliness. I face a daily battle dealing with this. Sure, I perforate those feelings with pissed up nights out, alcoholism and fake laughter, but that can't go on forever.

I don't have any idea what I want to do with my life either. I don't go to uni, I wouldn't go to college except my dad won't pay maintenance money unless I'm in education. I don't want to work full time, but I would if doing so would lead to anything worthwhile. But it wouldn't. I feel worthless, I feel know my family is disappointed in me and nothing seems worth it anymore.

I've fully explained my problems to an online friend who's solution is, "Your body aint going nowhere so you have to deal with it." But I can't. I can't deal with it. So what do you do when your mind has reached the point at which it can cope and which it can't? It feels like death would just be a lot more logical and simplistic than years of alcoholism, recovery, maybe cancer, than "dealing with it" myself. I've tried dealing with it. Honestly. I'm a fairly objective person who is able to give advice to others, but if someone came to me with the same problems I would be forced to simply say "Deal with it or die." And that's where I am at the moment.

I can't reproduce, nor do I want to unnaturally, and I can't get into a relationship or make someone else happy. I don't make myself happy, nor can I. What's the point of living other than to not depress my sister for a short period of time? I mean the only people who would be truly depressed if I did die is my sister, neice and nephew. Well, my sister loves her kids more than me obviously so she'd get over it, and my neice and nephew are 3 and 2 respectively, they'd forget soon enough. I'll never be happy with myself. So what's there to live for? Quite frankly I'm one of the most worthless human beings ever. That's not a "feel sorry for myself" comment, I've given a lot of thought to this. I really am fairly pointless. I truly am unhappy with myself.

Meh.

Well, Easter weekend turned out to be quite fun. I had an 18th birthday I went to on Saturday and it turned out I knew the bar owner and she gave me free drinks. I got extremely slaughtered and I don't remember a good few hours of the end of the night. Whoo!

Sunday I felt fine but didn't really feel up to going out, so didn't. However, my sister did go out. She had 4 friends over and all 6 of 'em went out. They left so sober. She came back so drunk. She stumbled through the garden, put her arms over me like a barrier and kept rambling "Don't you pick on my brother just cause he's gay", which nobody was doing or even attempting to do. Silly cow. She then fell over in the garden, on me. Her friend Dave started rolling a spliff in the kitchen which she then proceeded to partly smoke. Bear in mind my sister is such an anti-smoker/anti-drugs. That's how drunk she was.

Then my sister and her friend Verity and I sat in my bedroom smoking away, and my sister's all like "Why do you have to be gay?" and saying she really wanted a neice and nephew. She started to cry a bit. That kind of upset me actually so I gave her one of my stearn looks and told her to stop drinking. I was pretty drunk too at this point mind you. She ended up holding back the tears and then she sort of stumbled up to bed. Meh.

Monday me and about 13 friends all went to this pub to catch up, as the Easter break has meant people are back from university. Then we all went to another pub, got something to eat. Then later in the evening about 9.30 4 more friends came, by this time there was about 6 of us left. I ended up being the only one who was there from 4pm-midnight lol. Myself and the people who came later ended up discussing all this political crap - euthanasia, gay marriage, what we're doing with our lives, education, immigration. We put the world to rights! lol.

Today I am going to do nothing but watch Lost and perhaps 24. And eat pizza.

I like getting to know people. It's fun, even more so when they are very different to who you're used to. So we have a new cleaner at work, she's a Jamaican woman with a pretty thick accent and not the greatest grasp of the English language. Exactly the type of person a British conservative is likely to look down on, which is precisely why I prefer to embrace her more than others!

So I said I'd love to go to Jamaica, but I said to her, "They hate us fags over there though." And she laughed, and said that there were gay people there too. Then she made me laugh because a serious expression fell upon her face and out of nowhere she said "But they would kill you if they caught you." It was very funny, in a strange way. So anyway, it led me to read up on gay rights and such in Jamaica.

I knew it was bad, but not THAT bad! And I also ended up reading a couple of comments on another website posted by Jamaican ex-pats. They had said whilst they were very homophobic when they were younger, since moving to other countries such as the UK and Australia they had met very nice gay people and that their views had been changed. So that was nice. And I think it might be the case of this new cleaner woman too! She thinks I'm great (well, duh *cheeky grin*) and I passed her on the stairs today and she patted my bum!

Could it be that *I* have been one of these "very nice gay people" that a Jamaican ex-pat has met, and changed their homophobic opinions? Oh I would be pleased! I think I'll start having some gay conversations with her to gauge her opinion. God I'm bored.

Pointless entry, but I wanted to write something ^_^

So, my Friday/Saturday was pretty boring.

Friday night was absolutely awful at work. We had like 2 checkouts open from 8pm (we trade until 10pm) and the queues were so long. I was just standing there like a lemon being looked at, people expecting me to do something. Unfortunately there was nobody left in the entire store who was checkout trained. So embarrassing.

Saturday wasn't so bad, kept it together. Writing this just before going to work on Sunday.

The good thing about this weekend at work is it's Red Nose Day here (the actual 'day' was on Friday), so we didn't have to wear uniform. Also I got to wear the campest red & sparkly cowboy hat. Oh I looked SO gay. And I was proper queening about in front of people. Wheee!

Might go out tonight and get unashamedly pissed. I still haven't gone to a gay bar for YONKS, I don't really have many gay friends. Well, I have 4 lesbian friends (2 couples), all of whom don't frequent the nearest gay bar because of stupid drama about girlfriends cheating with people who are regulars there and other stupid reasons. So I'm still not going to get laid.

Also, I saw this funny clip on YouTube. I had no idea George Takei was gay. In fact, I didn't even know that was his name, I just recognised him from Star Trek (which I don't even watch, goes to show what a famous program it is). Anyway, I thought it was funny. Before watching it you might wish to read up on the homophobic comments made by Tim Hardaway otherwise it's not as funny.

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