whenever i dream, he's usually in it.
there was one with cannibals and laughter.
another with a clear lake and plastic boats.
so many and i'm always with you.
monday night, i wanted to die.
i sort of wish i had.
i stared at all the pills in my house and cried,
because i didn't want my last thought to be shrouded in pain.
i was afraid that it would also be an image of him.
so i cried and cried and cried and in the morning i couldn't see.
so i stayed home.
listened to Emily Haines & the Soft Skeleton and could feel my organs groaning to a halt.
They don't want to live anymore;