I think it just takes practice for your gaydar to start working.... It seems as tho im pinging correctly now almost on every turn (tho I should admit it was pretty functional from the start) this hot guy in my math class the second class I peged as a flaming piece of sausage..... I over heard him talking to his friend about his boy-friend...... I have an operational gaydar.... thats pretty kick ass and unexpected..... I wonder if I show up on gaydar...... anyhoot.... ya thats all i wanted to say.......

Merely mending of false design
Here, now. Some value may yet be found
Though not divine,
Nor christened right,
Merit may still be.

Sad is one
Who by poor design
Limits merited value
For destined doom

Some small stake
Ross up to fill the void
And exist some small design

Reality holds no truth
Beyond reality in same

Merely mending of false design.

And yet still remains
The question

Made to fold or bend
Some merit or equity
We still may find

Bound to ghastly form
In harsh reality
Design
We may yet find

Though merit, and system of,
Only the quest
May show system or
Merited form
But neither man shall find

Merely mending of false design
Here, now. Some value may yet be found
Though not divine,
Nor christened right,
Merit may still be.

So, I was thinking.... (christopher judge seems really gay)
anyhoot.... I was thinking, that the media really only seems to cover one side of the story.... and that, atleast for me, all I ever hear is about the AFA. Now I have always been one to speak for the other side... in most cases that gives me a well earned title of a Fing Prick! However, I feel I am especially annoyed by this crap they spew, and the fact that people can get away with stupid shit and not be called out on it.... (make no mistake I believe in the freedom of speech, and the freedom of press, but the press has a responcibility, and people who dont agree with this stupid shit also have a responcibility.)
So then.... We have a lot of media coverage for the stupid pricks.... no, they dont even deserve the title of prick... prick instills a denotation of atleast knowing you are being an ass...
Anyhoot, I could go on rambling about these stupid people or, I could get to my point..... normally, I would choose rambling but.....

Do You!!!(yes you....) think it would be interesting to a counter site, something like betterfamilyvalues or something to counter the continualized bullshit spewed forth from the mouths of anti-christians such as those in the AFA... (hint....)

"Sasuke"
A gay navy pilot

He was my friend

I feel like being misserable.........
"chances of love rekindled
divided by two"

Sasuke.......
My bestest friend
was shot down while flying "rutine(sp?)" air patrols ....
this counts 6 friends dead in the illegal american war against the middle east.....

Constructor, inventor, helper,
slave. A giver. A worldless mystic.
An idealist, A hoper, A
changer. A wanter, but never
A taker.

I build bridges to hard
places. I invent new ways to
help. I give with no
thought to myself
I hope for a better, happier
tommarow. I act for change,
for the "good cause." I want
everything. But never take anything
for myself

ok so... this is going to reference a post i made some time ago about the speed of light entitled "am i crazy" so... if you haven't read it heres a link to that one (http://www.oasisjournals.com/2007/01/am-i-crazy)
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as that might suggest ive based alot of my thought processes off of how black holes work (if you know super amounts of physics that is)
so i think its time to look at something else.... time (travel)
part of the effects of the varying C universe that I suggested in that post means that... we are not 3d.... not even 4 or 5d.... we need to be 7th dimensional beings.... (i dont know about you but I always love an ego booster...) why is this? well it's because we experiance gravity.... (gravity isn't exactly a force.... but for now lets keep it kinda simple.) now i know...i said it's a 6d reality... but then i gave credit to multiverse theories... and some are... acceptable....kinda
but anyhoot.... because these 7ds work.... (hey im not killing einstein yet) atleast theoretically.... i have to confront what this means....TIME TRAVEL!!!
alrightythen....
conservation of matter/energy is the major killer of any timetravel theories... simply put.... if you travel back in time... you create more matter within the universe..... and as our conservation rules say... thats a big nono... but, lets look at this rule from a new perspective.... we know that time "began" (with the big bang.... a subject for a different post) so taking the logic beginings require ends.... (that can be used to argue fate... but that too is a subject for a different post) how about we add the factor of time to the conservation theory....
IE the universe's energy limit is not the energy at any moment.... but rather the energy of all moments......
(give me a credible attack and youll get my full respect..... )
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so, thats it.... a year to the day from my science post..... take what you want from it..........i encourage you to look at it and say.... no that aint right.... or something like that.....

kinda abstract in the presentation but pretty direct in the meaning....

To be honest, I think about death a lot.... it's foreign ground for me, And I hate not having some intell.
I don't know what I can say about suicide honestly without sounding like a cold blooded bastard....

If your gonna kill yourself, I say go ahead.... it's your own damned right to descide if you want to live your existance.... And I don't think anyone should tell you that you don't have the right to a extremely basic principle of free will. I think it's greedy and selfserving to stop someone from doing something like that.... How arrogant is it to think that one persons greif is more than the relief of someone else....
So you know what (and I will prolly get introuble with the staff of this site... if not most people in general) If your so damned set on it, go on ahead and end it...... but remember it's an equal universe (as much as it often seams it's not) to equal the plus 1 for you there has to be a negative 1 somewhere else.....

(yes prolly the only person with any psychological eduactional backround who will say that, but..........)

The pointless ramblings of someone who doesn't matter
_____

"We are always here, We always hear"

Girl
A ship in a bottle,
lost without
somebody else.

Waiting for
the sailor,
the broken glass.

Cant take my chances,
take my chances,
in the wind,
on the sea.

without my sailor.

Boy
Old habits,
Die so
hard.

Be the hero,
Save the world.

Never show
How much your scared,
even when
your all alone.

Hold your own,
Never stand aside.

Staying true
right to
the very end.

both
I'm tired of being
what they want of me.
Why cant I be my ownself?

Girl
I wanna
take charge,
and be the boss.

I want to
wear a suit,
and not get
funny looks.

I want the GI joes,
and still have my barbie dolls.

Boy
Soccer and sports
just aint my thing.
Why cant I
Sing and dance

Not be afraid
to cry, or shine,
to show my love.

I wanna be
The tender one too.

Both
Im not this someone else
Nor do I want to be.

mein klasse sind sheisser(null). ich habt das housaufgaben.... hausaufgaben... und, ja, du gaubst es.... mehr hausaufgaben...

ich werde verrückt zu gehen...
so crazy infact, Ill start speaking other languages...
It seems i get one day of break then i need to start stressing on another paper.... college may be fun, but it also has its draw backs

I hate the internet... I hate it with a passion... And I hate my computers too... so much so to say.... put my foot through one of my monitors.... and then take it outside with a trusty sledge hammer.... well it sure doesnt fix the computer... but it sure makes you feel better.... tho, i wouldnt recomend the foot part...

well seems like the saying it never rains but it pours.....

well after a week im so happy i can get me a decent fix of internet.... it's like heroin to the young generation, and even to some of the older generations...

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And Gaia Shudders

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And Gaia Shudders
but nobody cares

Hmmm... I debate whether or not I am actually out of the closet sometimes... sure there are times when you have to supress some of your attitudes and ideas to aviod "extreme bodily harm" But i still seem to find myself censoring myself alot. I mean around friends, I mean Im pretty out going... but, it seems that when a new situation comes about I find myself repressing some of my little (what I call) gay quarks. sometimes i dont know whats up... I mean i dont really care what people think of me... atleast thats what i tell myself... i don't know.... i quess im just weird.... its not like im denying the fact that those ripply muscles men have arent one of the hottest things i can and have ever seen.... its not that i have any question about ...... well never mind... you get the picture......
I dunno.... being out, your supposed to be.... well out... and open about who you are.....
maybe im just to inroverted.... I dunno.....