well, our class had a weeek outing (it was a seminar actually) and it was really really unforgettable for me. i had the chance to have a tête-à-tête with the person i like, and it was really fun. i never ever expected that we could have done that, knowing that her group of friends was way different form my group pf friends. and besides that, our groups of friends became friends. haha. it was really fun, and what we talked aboput are things that really come from within- i was really myself during that time, and i didnt feel awkward (well, actually i did, during the first few minutes) when i was talking to her. i realized that we agree on things, and i really didnt expect that we would agree on those things. she's really a great friend because she's really genuine. the only problem is i might think otherwise(i mean, not the 'otherwise otherwise'), like i might really really like her, and that can be a problem.
i have this classmate (an 'almost blockmate' because we attend most subjects together except for physics and math), and she happens to be in my fine arts class too. since she's my classmate all throughout the subjects (i mean, most of the subjects), we sit together in fine arts (since in other subjects, we are arranged differently, and the only chance we get to talk is during fine arts class). we get along really well, and she's so good to me. she also tolerates homosexuality and bisexaulity since she really likes reading slash and sometimes she and her friends would survey people and ask who's more cute if ever they become guys. anyway, just to give you an idea of what she looks like, think of garrett hedlund in troy.
this is the worst birthday ever. my dogs made me happier than the humans.
ahhh. at least writing this short entry made me feel better. need not to go into details, it's just not worth it.
A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true
2 days ago, while i was driving home, i saw my crush (since i was in the 7th grade) riding a motorcycle together with a guy, and they looked like they were having a good time chatting with one another. of course the chatting part doesnt make him gay, but it's their positions on the motorcycle that makes him look like one. i dunno if he's really a gay or not, cuz i've just connected the events.
anyway, there they were, happily chatting and like he was kindda sitting on the lap of this other guy, and the other guy's hand is like resting on my crush's arm. and there was like a twinkle on my crush's eyes! can't really believe it!
Okay, so I went to my aunt's place to celebrate my cousin's 12th birthday. We talked about a lot of tings, especially stuff about my cousin. One of the topics we talked about is the homosexuality of my cousin's classmate. Well, his classmate is gay, and he usually hangs out with his classmate. my aunt told me that she's afraid that my cuz would become one since he's hanging out with a gay. What I'm sad about is the fact that my aunt assumes that (in general)if ever someone hangs out with gay people, they eventually become one as well, and that's not at all true! I've been with a lot of lesbians since I was like 10, and I didn't even become one (though I'm a bi.
This day my robot's finished
I've been working on it for years.
It certainly will not tranish
It will even put away those tears.
This robot I made from anger and hurt
Will be my saving knight
It will hinder the pains others blurt
And just let me see a pleasant sight.
I turned the robot on for testing
Walked out and went my way
I felt great when I felt nothing
Knowing no one can get in my way.
2 days ago, I was just having one of the ‘‘arguing- routines’’ my sister and I always do about blogs. It’s just that she takes a lot of time designing her blog again and again, and it’s irritating me because she takes ages in the Internet, and the computer she uses is in my room. Sometimes she would stay up late in my room and she would leave me having eyebags the next morning because she types loudly and the glare from the computer distracts me. When I tell her that she just use the laptop, she wouldn’t reasoning out that the computer’s better since it’s faster.
When I have liked that girl, she was my inspiration in my drawings, sketches, paintings and some of my badly-written poems,even though I know that I stand no chance of getting the same feeling I have for her(coz I have told her how I feel toward her). So what I'm trying to do is to forget her and finally get over her. but it's as if I dictate myself to just see her as a friend, but I feel otherwise.
I find it very ironic for my mom to tell me not to like girls because it's immoral and abnormal and otheroffensivewordsthatmakemefeelinferior, but she confessed that she herself had a relationship with a woman back in highschool!!! She reasoned out that it's for their friendship to be saved (huh? can't get the logic behind what she did and her reason.... Isn't it that before entering into a realtionship, you have felt a special feeling for your partner? and why is she telling me that she had this relationship for friendship sake??? I have been fighting my feelings for girls because it's really hard to be who you are around people. Like I have been telling myself not to like girls so that everything would run smoothly and so that I won't wake up trying to figure out and having a problem on how to conceal my real identity fearing that I won't be accepted... But I am also a firm believer that it's not your fault to fall in love with someone, whether that person is the wrong one. I am a bisexual in my own room, and a "straight" girl outside(this statement is very metaphoric and symbolic for me. I like it.haha.)
Well, I told my friend that I like her, and she took it so well!!!! I told her through a poem I made, and she told me that it's amazing of me to write such a poem.
I was planning to tell her on tuesday, so I made the poem monday afternoon in a cafe right after school. tuesday morning, she asked me why I didn't ride the bus with her last monday, and I told her I had to take make-up quizzes in chemistry. So, come tuesday, my insides were shaking and I was fidgety, coz I was dreading the afternoon. I planned to recite the poem to her, but I was running late, so I just handed the poem to her. Wednesday came, and I thought that she will be cold towards me, knowing that she would feel awkward about it. But when we had a chat, she told me that she's cool with it. She even told me that if she's not cool with it, then she wouldn't be talking to me. Haha!!! it's so nice, coz she took it so well, and that was the first time I told somebody i like her, and all went well and more or less smooth...I'm so lucky to like somebody like her..... :)
This is an adaptation of Christopher Marlowe's "The Passionate Shepherd to His Love". Actually I made this for my English class, but I want to share this with you guys. haha!!
Anyway, here it goes...By the way, guess what's this about ;)
The Yellow Smiley to a Popper
Come away with me and be my guest
And we will feel all the delights to quest
That powder, nose candy, puff and pills,
Blue Mickey, trips and blotter yields.
I have been liking this girl for almost a year, yet I haven't told her how I feel for her because I know she likes somebody else. I know that for a fact because I am the one whom she tells everything to. Last year, I know that she's really in love with this girl (let's call her poison ivy)because she (the girl I'm liking; let's call her sprite)has been telling me stuff about her and poison ivy everytime we talk.
i feel so alone right now...ive been crying 6 times the past 3 weeks already, which is so not me... i also feel left out in my peer groups...and do you know how it feels when there's this something that you have, and you're really taking care of it, then some twerp got it from you... also this person that i have feelings for is acting kinda strange. and i really dont know why...she just started giving me the cld shoulder...and i really dont know why..she's become pretty ambiguous...
im so low right now... like i'm so weak and all. i mean, i think im torn between two rivers...and it's so hard...have you felt that way before? like you're trying to be happy and effervescent, but you're really down and depresed, and frustrated...its like you would want to hate things....all these things...but then you couldn't... there would be a great loss if you would... and i just hate it....i dunno who my real friends are in school...i just cant open up to them like i do to strangers...i belive that its a lot easier to open up to a stranger than to open up to someone you have known for a long time...it's sooo hard...