It's nice to be back here in this site, I haven't visited this site for almost a year or two already, and this is my first time to write an entry here again :)

All is full of love- Bjork

Youll be given love
Youll be taken care of
Youll be given love
You have to trust it
Maybe not from the sources
Youve poured yours
Into
Maybe not
From the directions
You are
Staring at
Twist your head around
Its all around you
All is full of love
All around you
All is full of love
You just aint receiving
All is full of love

so right now, im waiting for my friend to go online so we can talk and catch up with each others' lives. we havent talked for weeks, and we're both not used to not talking to each other for quite a long time-more than 2 weeks already. before, we used to talk everyday, but then i got busy in the military and now it eats up most of my time.

What happened?? I thought she was interested in me? Last year she was very very obvious!! She was doing things that a staright girl wouldnt do, and my friends even confirmed that she was kindda into me.

I have entered the military, and we were told to forget our sense of democracy once we enter our barracks. I thought it wouldn't be that hard, but fucking hell it is!! Well, I cant back out anymore, because once you've entered there's no way out.

what the hell's happening to me? i kissed my friend, i unintentionally look at her breasts because i just realized that those make her sexy, and i find her sexy. but before, i just see her as a human capable of laughing and talking to me and having fun, but now all i see is her pretty face and sexy body. what the hell??

Right after school the other day, I got exhausted, lied down on my bed and dozed off. I dreamt of Kyan (the grooming gay from queer eye) and we were friends in my dream, and we were left alone in a room. In my dream, I think I was a kidult, maybe a young man between 19 and 21.

well, your curious minds got you into reading this. well, im just bored, and it's just that im really really bored with my life, and i think of it as a stagnant water- doesn't move, just remains as it is. then i begin to remember veronika, the character in one of paulo coelho's books? yeah, that miserable dude, we're kind of in the same boat, at least during the 1st few chapters....

please allow me to bitch around.just for now.

yeah, if you've read my previous entry, this one's connected to it. for all of those who havent read it, it's about how i messed up with my friend whom i have a crush on. i messed up because i realized just now that maybe she liked me too but then i was too preoccupied and selfish to notice.

How could i be more stupid?haha!!! last school year, there's a friend of mine who i really really like, and just a few minutes ago (while listening to john mayer's 3x5), i realized that i think she liked me too. we shall name her kitty (because she likes kittens.haha)

I've been very very upset for almost a month now, because I dont feel satisfied with the course i am in this year. I didnt really choose it, my parents did, and it's so fucking hard because i am not really inclined to it, at all. i want to shift to another course asap, but that would mean i have to wait for a year before shifting, as my current course requires 12 units of majors before shifting.

Flying High- Jem

You can't know, oh no
you can't know
how much I think about you, no
It's making my head spin
Looking at you
and you are looking at me
and we both know what we want
hmmm, so close to giving in

Feel so nice
oh yeah you feel so nice
wish I could spend the night
but I can't pay the price
oh no, no

But I'm flying so high
high off the ground
when you're around

I will follow you into the dark
Death cab for cutie

Love of mine
Someday you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light
Or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
And illuminate the "no"s
On their vacancy signs

okay, i have this friend i have been really liking. i dont know if i have a crush on her or what, but i really like her (like i want her to be a very very close friend). anyway, what has been happening is totally confusing me!!!

1. when we had a night together (we had an intimate talk one night in one of our friends' house), and she asked me to lie down with her and look at the night sky. (prior to that, i gave her a letter wherein i told her that i want to know her better. and then while we were having fun, she gently pulled me from our friends and talked about things, and that's how we ended up talking intimately) but i refused to lie down with her because i was bothered by my other friend, because before that, my other friend and i had a misunderstanding, and it was bothering me.