That's me. Well, actually, part of the time I was walking backwards and talking to myself while it was pouring but then I saw lightning and decided to come inside.

Now. It's not like me to go outside in the rain for the pourpuse of being in the rain. So I'll tell you why I was out there.

Okay, I'm taking a shower right? And my dad tells me that Sora (My crush/ BFF) came by, and that she's walking around the block. So, naturally, I move at 5 times my normal speed and rush outside to catch up with her. And then my heart drops. She's crying. She hasn't noticed me yet so I call to her and run to her. She tells me that she got in a fight with her stepmom. (They were taking a walk together.) And we begin walking back towards my house. Her stepmom tells her that she's gonna be in big trouble if she keeps walking and I'm totally lost and don't know what to do so we just keep walking. Her stepmom tells her that she's in trouble and says she's gonna talk to her dad. But I'm not sure what happened exactly but we walk back in the other direction.

I'm po'ed and Nintendo marketing. Why do they call it "pre-ordering" if they have a limited supply? Dosen't that make it "reserving?" Well anyway, they were out when we went to reserve. Grrr. Not the kind of thing you'd expect either, I didn't think there were that many video game players in the area. But either way we'll just order it on Amazon.

Annndddd.. I'm going to stop taking dance class... I'm just not interested anymore. Yeah, I'm always like this. No one thing can hold my interest for more than a month besides art. So I guess I'll have to get a carrer in art because I wouldn't be able to keep a job in anything else.

I am a HUGE fan of Death Note, if you didn't know. And there's an anime now. I only found two episodes (on youtube) but they're beautiful. The voices are perfect and the art is amazing. And it's just like the manga expect animated, with color, and sound.

And I've only seen traillers for the movies but Ryuk is gourgeous in CGI. =D

*fangirl tears of joy*

Kay. Done now. (That's got to be my

Seriously. She licks people as a threat. I ask her why she does that. She says she does that to me because it works and because I'm gay.

I mean seriously. 0_0 She told me that it's my weakness. What is going on in that head of hers?

We were watching Chrono Crusade, and she told me to say that Chrono is cute, just to make her feel better, so I told her that Rosette is cute just to annoy her. Even though I don't really think so. Haha. And also, I'm going to cosplay as chrono someday. It'd be fun.

About Sora (My best friend and crush. If you haven't read my previous journals.) She knows I'm gay, but she is still just as clingy, and she also seems to drop a lot of hints unless I'm reading her totally wrong. But I think she's going out with someone. (Sorry, my memory skills are not the best.)

You know, sometimes I wish you could choose who you fall in love with. When I was little I thought that was the case. And I also used to wonder why people had a hard time telling someone they loved them. And I 'decided' that I wouldn't be like that. So why am I like that now? I guess I failed at that too.

Yup. I fail. Total failure. I knew I should have said something sooner. I knew it. X_X

In fact, I fail so much I don't even know weather I'm happy or sad. Duuuurrr...

Okay, now you're wondering what happened aren't you? Sora, my best friend, and super-crush. She was kissed by a boy she apparently likes. (I find this really annoying because she's younger than me. X_X I'm so behind.) I'm not sure what's happening, she wasn't as excited as I expected her to be. (And yes I'm certain that that's not just my optimistic side talking... Well.. mabye a little.) But either way I'm pretty sure I don't have a chance with her. Watch me as I crawl back into my little hole now.

Yup, I just came back from it. It was small, but it was pretty cool. I cosplayed as L Friday and Saturday.

I feel so stupid. Today there was this "Whose Line is it Anime?" and they were picking people from the audience. Light, L, and another person and I were picked for this one thing. And when the microphone was handed to me I stalled because I couldn't think of anything. Eventually I took some suggestions from the audience and I felt so stupid. But that's not important, The important part is what happened next.

I didn't see Sora today. But I wasn't really expecting too, I did see her sister a little while but she ditched me for the TV. heh.

My mom called. I spoke to my sister. I miss her so much. She's not going to be here for my birthday. I want her here for my birthday. It's not fair.

My mom won't let my sister talk to my dad. I'm not sure why. But she won't. So my dad is obviously more than a little upset about this. Which isn't helping matters.

I went to an Anime club-thing today. It was weird that I saw a couple of girls that I haddn't seen in two years..(We wen't to 7th grade together, but I stopped. She didn't really remember me at first. Not that I really expected her too.) I thought they might be there, but I wasn't really expecting it. And I made a couple new friends, she was just randomly showing me her art, and I saw a picture of Xigbar so I'm like "Xigbar! Yay!" And we started talking about Kingdom Hearts. And we played this Naruto game. I played Haku and lost to Zabuza. :( He's so mean! D: And what's funny is that wasn't the only Haku vs. Zabuza fight. Hehe. And it was just totally awesome. Sort of like a mini-anime convention minus the pocky and the cosplayers. Hehe.

I slept over at Sora's. It was... Interesting to say the least. We were going to bed around like, 10:30. We slept on the couch for some reason. And she suddenley remembered that I wanted to talk to her.

It took me a little while, but I said it. I said "I'm a lesbian." And her reaction was totally unexpected.

You know what she said? I'll tell you what she said. She said "That's hot." (Spirits go up.) And then she says "If you get the hots for me I'm gonna run." (Spirits go down.) And then she said that I'm going to turn out bi. And I'm like "No. I don't like guys like that, I don't think I ever will." That was kind of annoying. And then she asked me stupid stuff like "You're still a Yaoi (Shohen-ai. Whatever.) fangirl right?" And I'm like "Yeah, I just like Yuri too." and stuff like that so I'm like "nothing's changed. Okay? I'm still the same person."

Sora came over. She didn't come over to talk, she came over to give me cake. She loved the gifts. And she saw the note. And I'm going to sleep over at her house ummm... Friday? I'm not TOTALLY forgetful... Except for when I am... Which is right now... She's gonna come get me so I'll like either tell her then, or if I chicken out again I'll tell her while I'm over there. And I've decided that I'm not going to eat any chocolate until I do. Which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have a bar of 70% dark chocolate sitting near my bed right now. Hehe, I'm giving myself incentive.

Okay, for those who don't know. I have a crush on this girl, Sora. And today is her birthday. So I bought her two manga and a jewelry box. (I bought the jewelry box a while ago for her, but decided to make it a birthday present since it was coming up.) Because I'm overly cautious and wanted to make sure she got something she liked. Though when I think about it, she'd like most anything I gave her if it was from me. Buut. I'm always like this when it comes to present-buying. And since the tickets for the concert I wanted to go to sold out I spent some of that money on gifts. Heh.

Sora's birthday is tomorrow. She won't be here tommorow but I got her present ready. It's a little souviner I bought at Longwood Gardens, it's like a little jewlery box with a kitten and some flowers on it. I thought it was super cute so I got it for her... Anyways, what I did was I stuck a note in next to the gift (It wouldn't fit inside.. Heh.) that says that I want to talk to her and she should come over sometime soon. I don't know if I'll be brave enough to tell her that I like her. But I think I'm ready to tell her that I'm lesbian. And I think I should wait a little while between when I tell her that I'm lesbian and that I like her depending on her reaction to the former. Heh.

I saw Sora again today. And I would have told her (how I feel about her.) but I couldn't get her alone. Her sister and her brother were there. And I forgot to tell her that I want to talk to her. X_X

We went to my house to pick up a controller, and on the way back Sora mentioned us sharing a bed (For some reason unknownst to me.) and her brother, being the hormonal (perverted) teenager he is was like "Holy Shit!" And we both shout "PERVERT!" It was so funny.

I saw Sora today. We watched a couple of bad movies. And then she was going bowling. And I didn't get the chance to tell her. And I have to make this entry quick because her sister might come over soon.

But grrrr. We were writing back and fourth. (The movie was playing and one of Kim's sisters was annoyed at us talking.) and I didn't use that as a chance. And I'm stupid. Because I didn't say anything about wanting to talk to her. Why am I stupid.