I looked back at what's been going on here. I don't have anything to say about it but jeez you guys. I'm just kinda rolling my eyes at this point. This place has been so full of drama recently... |D;

In other news. This month is gonna be kinda awesome. There's a SlutWalk in Boston next weekend, which I'm psyched for.

For those who don't know, SlutWalks protest slut-shaming, victim-blaming, and rape culture.

And then the next weekend after there's a con, you know, the UU ones I go on about. :D

I could post a whole huge post about how that went but I'm tired and don't feel like it. Haha. Maybe later?

It was fun though. And interesting.

I'm still kind of tired from the trip though. I think it was because of the lack of real food (see: veggies). All I ate was like, pasta or peanut butter and jelly or canned beans and rice. And I did more physical labor than usual on top of that.

My diet is usually considerably more full of vegetables. :P

But yeah, just wanted to let you all know I'm back and stuff. So hi.

So today I was just hanging around the facebooks, minding my own business...

When BAM.

A friend asks me if I'm busy the next few days.

I say no, I'm not... Because I'm not.

And she's like "Umm. I know this is really last minute, but we're having a camping trip and people bailed on me, do you want to come?"

and I'm like "Okay, I'll see what I can do." Because, I've always wanted to do for-real camping but never got the chance because my dad hates camping. Haha.

My uterus still hates me, but less, relatively. :P

I was really moody at the gyno appointment yesterday... Which made things worse because she could tell and she kept apologizing (medical professionals keep doing that with me. It's weird. It's something about being a dude that needs his vagina checked that makes people go "I'm sorry I'm sorry I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable I'm sorry". But at least they're respectful so I'm not complaining.) and I was like.. Gah. That just made it kinda worse. |D;

(I'm feeling better now though. :] )

I still have a really difficult time grasping the concept that there are people younger than me who are sexually active... Which I mean, I'm 18. You'd think I'd be used to this idea by now. :P

asddsjkafsfdajk. I'm all cramped up and I feel sick and disgusting.

I hate my body so much right now and I just want it to stop. It's been nearly 6 weeks. 6 fucking weeks and it's only gotten worse.

She went to Mass Art, which is gonna be my school next fall, and a bunch of students preformed and it was super fantastic and then she played and it was even super-er fantastic-er.

And she's so adorable. Haha. And I bought a CD from her and she signed it for me. :]

Also, this very talented young woman played tonight as well and she's just amazing. You should give her a listen.

Been offline for a few days because a very good friend came to visit and he lives far away so I didn't want to sit on the computer and ignore him. haha.

I have messages to respond do and I promise that I will... I'm just kind of out of it. |D; There are a lot of people I need to respond to on the internet right now, (including but not limited to this website)

There are a few things I wanted to say though.

1. Sometimes I forget that I'm not asexual... I guess this makes sense considering that I only see the one person I'm attracted to a few times a year. :P

Okayso, I got a new guitar, and I named her Dayna, why? Because I like the spelling. I really didn't put much more thought into it than that, which is weird for me, but a good thing. Haha.

And she's sososo gorgeous, and sounds sososo much nicer than my old guitar (which is junior sized and much quieter and and more twangy/bright sounding) and akdajkldfdkljsf. Just. So pretty. My old guitar is a bright orangey yellowey brown color and kinda cute, but Dayna is this really dark brown... And gorgeouusss...

You know what? I'll show you.

I was talking to my friend um... I need nicknames.

Red. I might've called him this here before actually. I was talking to Red about that kid I'm attracted to that I shall nickname um. Teal, while I'm going with colors.

Anyway Red has had this issue with being jealous of Teal for a while. And then I mentioned that I had a crush on Teal and then Red got worse. And then he was all "bluhbluh" and I thought for a while that he had a crush on me (which, he still might.) but he didn't want to so he was being awkward.

It's when stuff like this happens that I just want to run away.

I feel like I'm gonna cry... Or throw up... Or something.

...I don't know what to tell him because he wants me to reassure him that he's not right. But he hit the nail on the head.

Shit.

So that pain medicine that I took that one time has stopped trying to kill me, which is good. Before I felt like my stomach was trying to eat itself if I let it empty too much, not pleasant.

But now I have a cold. It's not nearly as bad so I'm thankful but it's still yucky.

The good news is, my blood test and ultrasound came out normal, but now she wants to put me on progesterone for 10 days to see if it stops the bleeding. XP I'm not terribly enthusiastic about this. I mean, it's just 10 days... But... Gah. I don't like it. I don't want to screw with my hormones, they're where they're supposed to be.

And I have to see a real gyno because they couldn't tell anything from the pap smear. (But at least my doctor is sending me to someone with experience with trans people)

So I went to the doctor's today.

Apparently, I'm also pee shy. I completely failed to pee into a cup. Kinda embarrassing. (Didn't someone else here go through that a little while ago?) They gave me water and I still couldn't do it. There's something psychological about being pressured into peeing that makes it pretty much impossible for me.

The little bit I have been able to find out about being trans, on T and spotting (as opposed to having a full-on period. Which, I didn't differentiate at first because I didn't realize that it made a difference... And apparently spotting is a worse sign. Fun) has all basically said that it, among with other symptoms, which I have had, "could be signs of something serious". Isn't that fan-fucking tastic?

Soyeah. There's a good chance that I've got a serious health problem going on down there.