I really find it a pain that everyone around me is still in love and even more of them are falling in love everyday. I say I want to be single, but my heart tells me to go out with this one girl that really likes me (I like her too). Yet I can't, not only am I still in the closet when it comes to my parents; but my parents will not let me date anyone. I sorta wish that I never found out that she liked me, so that I can go on in blissful ignorance, but I can't I mean since I found out that she liked me, I have been doing so much better.
Since my attempt at a Youth Group that doubled as a GSA was shot down, a few more kids came out to me as either gay or a straight ally. I mean even a few 11 year olds supported what I was doing. Well I will try the idea again in a few years.
So I went to my job today at the church and I saw the Opus Dei priest talking with our main priest about who did what. So my priest said that the church is cleaned and manteined by me and that seemed to piss off the Opus Dei priest. I think he had some girl problems as a kid...or as Jay puts it really, really jealous of the fact that I and the other workers are born female. Jay is a little bit whacked in the head for a 13-year-old boy who hits on his friends even though they beat him up every time...but that is how I met him and got him to join the GSA youth group.
Today I was at church, about to enter a planning meeting for a possible GSA at this church. I was expecting that a new priest was coming to help, but I just didn't know from where. Well I was going into the closet were me and a few of the others were going to meet (Kind of ironic, meeting in a closet to start a GSA). So as I was just about to go in I saw the new priest, he was creepy, but still out of curiousity I asked him where he came from and what order he was.
The kids I usually help with their problems since they were in kindergarten, are now going into 7th grade and all I could say when I saw them off before, "Wow you guys are getting old!" funny thing was they said I was getting old myself. I mean I am 16, and searching for a college while they are looking for a high school. It is kind of depressing, knowing that they have problems these days that I can't help them with because I never dated anyone in my life and a few of them are dating now.
I am a bit tired of the act, I have been putting up. Heh, I finally came out to a rather large group of my friends and they took it well considering a few are a tad bit homophobic. But I didn't tell everyone, because it could lead to me having to leave my school because my parents would kick me out of the house. So yeah at the same time one of my best friends is sick and in need of a surgery, and she never had one before while I had a few.
I have a lot of friends who are 11-13 and many of them are starting to have problems with dating so they come to me, assuming that since I am 16, I would know something. I don't I honestly don't (I never been on a date or with any body in that way...I only felt unrequited love so far) and most of the situations these kids come to me with are ones 11-13 year old shouldn't really be having issues with.
I am bisexual and I am not out to anyone, except on the net. In recent years, my friends in the girl's school has been starting to date one by one. So with the fact that I am known for good advice and I am single, I became some kind of "Dear Abby" figure and everyone of my friends started coming to me for help. At first I was fine with that, until everyone started feeling guilty for how they were using me.