Okay, as none of you know, I really want to be a detective with the NYPD. Anyway, a friend of mine just went to NYC for a week, and, as she knew of my love of cops, brought be an NYPD shirt!!! It's so amazingly awesome!!!!!!!! It's got the shield (no, not the badge) and it says NYPD and everything!!!!!! I'm going on and on, and I just don't care. I have an NYPD shirt!!!!!

yesterday i met an angel
she had brown hair, beautiful eyes
she held my world in her heart

a year ago i met a daemon
it was ugly and cursed
i battled it and won

a month ago i was lost
i had no map of life
then you came along and showed me how to live

yesterday i met an angel
now i call her mine
i love her more that words can tell
today, she is mine

Life is good right now. Even though R and I can't actually go out, cause her mom's a beast, we're talking every night on our cells, and we're passing letters through a mutual friend. It's the most wonderful thing, to know that someone you're in love with loves you back.

i am in love, and my heart is singing
my soul is lighter
and my mind is ringing
i'm in love

i didn't know what to say
couldn't find the words
but she's in love with me
she said so

i am in love, and my heart is singing
my soul is lighter
and my mind is ringing
i'm in love

i never dared hope
i went easy on her
didn't force my feelings on her
and gods oh gods she loves me

two in one night, i know, it's a lot, but i've got a lot on my mind.
i'm feeling bad, have been for a long time, for how i broke up with my ex the last time (see my last journal entry for that twisted tale).

okay, this is weird. i haven't been on in...wow, more than a year. but i'm sorta back, i suppose. god, my life is so screwed up right now.

hello
is anyone there
can you hear me
help me through
friend, i need you
love, i care for you
brother, i can not say
how much i care

hello
i need you
to hold my hand
the kiss my wounds
to tell me
it's going to be
alright

hello
where are you
father, mother
is that you i hear
weeping
in the middle of the night

hello
can someone hear me
can someone tell me
who i am
who can help

okay, for my little, 'let's-cheer-everyone-up-thing', i'm going to write to all of us who are depressed.
just so you know that i'm not talking about stuff that i don't know anything about, i've been depressed for most of my life, and was only recently diagnosed (about a year ago). i was later diagnosed as being bipolar, which can be even worse, sometimes. i spent all of last summer, and a month before that, on suicide watch, and i've tried to kill myself. i cut, but i'm trying to stop.

okay, here goes. two months ago, i was visited at night by a ghost. i'm very scientific, and i didn't
believe it at first. now i do. he's been teaching me to use my gift, to be a witch. i'm not very good
yet, but he says i am very promising. i have a lot of power, he says, i just have to learn how to use it.
only problem is, i'm telepathic, and i can't seem to shut it off tonight. i just keep feeling other

my senses are tingling. something's wrong. my scalp is prickling, and my witch sences are going haywire.
my dad hasn't killed himself (yet), and my mom's doing fine. so what's wrong? is emma okay? is wolf?
i can't call either of them, but i need to know. something is very wrong. what is going on? can any of you feel it?

Bulldyke

okay, folks, i need some help. i was just reading emmett's journal, and oh my god! i kept crying! i just feel...so...responsible for her. she'd kill me if she read this, which she probably will, but still. i want to hold her, and comfort her, and tell her that it's going to be all right, but i can't. 1) she won't let e, and 2) i don't know if it's true. i love her, but she doesn't love me back, i don't think.

okay folks, none of you care, but i'm going to log off now. yeah, i'm being wierd, it's my specialty.
bulldyke out.

okay, last year i wrote this paper for history, for a family history project, and i wrote about my aunts, who're suing the state of CA for gay marriage rights. well, a lot of things happened, and this woman read it, and thought it was really good, so - with my permission - she submited it to this board that's going to be publishing a book of essays by teenagers, and out of 400+ papers, mine was one of the ones chossen!!! isn't that so cool?!?! it's coming out (no pun intended) in february, and it's called hip deep. i'm extatic.