Hmmm had a fascinating day that began with doing a project at six in the morning that I should have had in on friday...but I did it and that is what counts.

Following my early morning project I went to my zero period gym class. I had had my coffee and was in a good mood. I worked out in the weight room after running around the gym several times and the preliminary stretches, then I proceeded to indulge in a rousing game of indoor soccer with my coeducated teammates. I recieved a soccer ball to the face. One would think that if you see a soccer ball coming at your face, you would run or move...but that wasn't possible as the girl who kicked it was directly in front of me and kicked up at close range instead of somewhere to the side. It was pleasant I proceeded to shout obscenities in between apologies to the couch for using them...it was painful, but thankfully I did not end up with a bloody nose or black eye and the same girl managed to hit the couch in the back with the ball about three minutes later...also at close range. I felt vindicated.

This is somewhat of a rant, you have been warned.

You may now proceed to read my long drawn out bitch about my lack of educational funds, if this upsets you then feel free to not comment or read.

Applying for a scholarship does not guarantee that I will recieve the free money that is a scholarship. The next person that suggests I apply for scholarships to compensate for the almost $6,000 that I still need in order to pay for Mills can take their advice and shove it (because I'm feeling polite).

Today sucked. Yesterday also sucked. I think the entire week has sucked. Does this count as a suckfest, or do I need another week?

Do you have friends that just don't listen when you tell them that you're GLBTQ? Do you have friends that don't communicate?

Do you call them the Army and the Army National Guard?
Because that's what I call mine, and how I love them!

My favorite part is that they address me as "Dear American" and then try and seduce me with many dollars toward my education...but my education is more expensive than the many dollars they want to give me! $60,000 wouldn't even pay for two full years at the college I will be attending, and the added $20,000 enlistment bonus won't be enough to cover the end and a third.

soon high school will be over and i will be free to spend the entire summer sleeping and amassing a very large debt in preparation for college. But the sleeping will be good, it will be sooooooo good.

This past week I was finally able to relax enough about school to get my room clean, I hadn't cleaned it since November and it was basically a war zone filled with papers, half filled notebooks, textbooks, random books i recieved over the holidays, books i'm borrowing from a teacher, scholarship and college applications, clothes, ten thousand pairs of tennis shoes, cds (I somehow managed to lose my portable cd player somewhere in my room and have yet to actually find it...., school work i did and never turned in and newspapers...I have no idea why i was hoarding newspapers unless they were intended for AP Gov.

So my friend just called me to apologize...I think, but I couldn't really tell.

She informed me that she was just "kidding" and didn't realize that I had taken it so seriously, apparently my shocked expression hadn't been enough for her.

I pretty much told her that I felt that she was being rude and overly controlling and possessive and that I didn't feel it was necessary.
She told me that she wasn't being possessive and would never try to control me like that...right.

I'm terrified of spiders and i'm home alone and there's one in my house.

Here's an amusing conversation that i've been having about it on msn.

me:
there's a spider in my house.
Liz:
eee
me:
jessica used to kill them for me
Liz:
i remember that! she told me about that
Liz:
she said that was really the only time you ever got overly worried
me:
yeah...arachnaphobia, i like snakes and everything, but spiders....gah. i've tried killing them myself but i can't. i even have nightmares about them

yeah, so this isn't really important, more an opportunity for me to ramble.

I'm not talking to one of my close friends right now. She sometimes gets really possessive (this is when she's not screwing with my head...beginning to wonder why i still consider her a close friend).

The other day I was hanging out with this girl that I have three classes with during lunch, who my friend coincidentally can't stand, we had just come from chem and were sitting downstairs with a few people she knows discussing a project that we're working on for AP english and my friend is going up the stairs and she sees me and gestures for me to follow her so i do.

Yay! Teacher trainings and peer education!

Granted that probably sounds really stupid, but they're some of the things that I really liked about the old YEAH club and am thrilled that I'm going to have the chance to participate in this year.

We're going to start working on our lesson plan next week which will be very cool and we're putting together our talent show skit thing that I won't be in, but will help with in some capacity.

So is anyone else going to the youth empowerment summit in San Fran? My GSA is in the process of raising money to cover some of the costs, we're soliciting local businesses with these creepy letters that include a self addressed envelope with a stamp featuring the guy who wrote somewhere over the rainbow complete with a rainbow in the background and lyrics...if they didn't get it before they should by then.

So I just got a call from a marine corp recruiter, apparently they're calling all of the seniors at my high school.

So I spent a few minutes discussing me classes, the two languages I take, my writing, and my AP courses, so he's telling me some future military careers and whatnot and about midsentence I say to him "Well you see,actually, I'm gay." He goes into a state of stunned shcok for a few seconds and then he's all, "Oh...well...that disqualifies you...er...um...openness."

One of my good friends came out to me today. I've never had that happen before, I'm always coming out to other people. I must say that was a truly weird experience, especially as it came complete with pics and a significant other (we communicate via e-mail as we no longer live in the same state.)

What really upset me was that he thought that i would be upset that he hadn't told me before now and that he "hoped i would forgive him". To me all that matters is that he's safe and happy, and I just hope that I was able to accurately communicate that to him.

California no longer says "Under God" in the pledge of allegiance, this is a fairly, as in today, recent change in our laws. California feels that it goes against the separation of church and state and they can legally do this on a state level.

I mentioned this to my mom tonight, we had been discussing it in my gov. and politics class and I thought it was interesting. She didn't take it well. She brought up how non christians still spend money with "in god we trust" on it and seemed to imply that she couldn't see the difference and that it was a double standard, I completely agree--however i understand that money is issued at a federal level and that this was a state ruling, oh and did i mention that she was arguing that all non christains should just get over it? Granted she was a bit more subtle about it, but not that much, suffice it to say that i got her point.

I think I'll stick with YEAH club this year, I actually know some of the people in it, my friend Grant from german last year--very cool kid,Dawn from the sophomore history class that I did advanced study last year, and as most of the members are under classmen it's much less intimidating.

So Fred and Mark, unfortunately because Chris was power tripping and there have been a bunch of club scheduling difficulties had to plan spanish club for wednesdays so I can't go, they apologised to me though and seemed genuinely disappointed that I wouldn't be there whcih is kind of nice.

Youth educating against homophobia club meets tomorrow for the first time this year...I had resolved to go, but now I'm not so sure I want to.

I'm afraid it's going to be too much of a service focussed club like many of the others and I'm not really in to that, gah, I should at least go tomorrow and if I really don't like it I'll stop--I'm really hoping that it doesn't conflict with spanish club, hopefully mark and chelsea will set spanish club on tuesday or friday so i can go to cookie, spanish, yeah, german, and have friday lunches free.