When I had first discovered the possibility that I might not be 100% straight I was frightened. In time I became angry, frustrated, and depressed. I would have given many things to have someone similar to me in my everyday life to talk to.
Within the last hour I've had one friend share with me that her sister had just told her two days ago that she is bisexual. It is a big deal to her. She is happy for her sister, but still adjusting to the change herself. She asked me to share my story, specifically when I had told my brothers and parents and what their responses were.
I came out to my parents tonight... it only took me six years lol
It was 100% how I had always expected it. I told them, they gave me great big hugs, I cried, got over it, and we chatted =)
I was kinda shocked though.. I thought that it wouldn't have been such a surprise for them.. that they already had sneaking suspicions.. but they didn't. I thought that was weird...
Anywho, I feel good. and fortunate to have such a supportive and loving family.
Now, the only people I must tell to be "100%" out are my two older brothers. Piece-o-cake.
Everyone but my family knows that I'm gay. Even my brothers best friend and girlfriend know lol, oy!
This August I'm going to Singapore for my last year of my business degree. I was hoping to let my family know a few months before I leave. I want to avoid telling them the night before though.. cuz' I would think from my parents point of view it would be insane to have your only daughter tell you that she's gay, and then let her go and hop on a plane to another continent the next day lol, I know I'd freak out, with a thousand thoughts/questions/concerns running through my head.
I really don't like going out to clubs.
I sit on the side, drink, and attempt to have conversations with people over the loud music. Or I end up dancing with some guy, getting a little too close, and end up telling him I'm gay if things go to far.
I brush him off, sometimes not even knowing his name. I feel like a bitch. But, I cannot deny that I love and long for the feeling of being embraced and held close. I am human. I desire to feel cared for, protected. Warm. And lets face it. It's way easier to pick out a cute straight boy to dance with, than a cute gay girl.
This year has been nice. Actually, for the last year and a half to two years I have had no troubles with the fact that I am gay. In fact, I've come to love it.
Honestly, my only grudge is the lack of opportunity to meet other gay girls. When I hear my straight friends talk about how hard it is to find a good guy... I feel bitter. I feel bitter because they have no idea how lucky they are to have so many people to choose from! They have much more opportunity to meet people that they're not only physically attracted to, but compatible with as well.
According to a friend of a friend, they had a hunch I was gay from the way I walk... I think this makes this the second time that's been said to me? not sure though, can't remember.
The way we walk can often reflect our attitude, or personality or whatever... so, does this mean I have the gay vibe?
Yes. In my mind it does =)
She asked me on a real date last night. Dinner, ice cream and movie, or something of the such. Then we'll probably head back to either my place or her place =)
Last night I went to her place and we watched a couple of movies, The Girl Next Door and Across the Galaxy. We actually watched a lot of the girl next door, Elisha Cuthbert is just that hot. Now, I had never seen across the galaxy before... I won't lie, still have no idea what it's about. The only thing I saw in that movie last night was these weird blue guys dancing/popping around.
Last night we went on our little coffee date. It was sweet. We sat and chatted for just over an hour, then headed back to my place to watch a movie.
We spent the first 45 min or so in my room, just talking. When we talk, we talk about anything and everything: favorite disney movies, school, friends, drugs, silly childhood stories, etc. Of course the one time my mom was hovering outside my room we were on the topic of sex for all of five minutes.
So, we're going on a coffee date tomorrow. Then afterwards I invited her back to my place, we're going to watch a movie. Kisses and cuddles permitted =)
I'm excited. Tomorrow is my last exam of five. Last night, for the first time since my first yr uni, I resorted to pulling an all nighter in the last attempts to study for my managerial exam. It was pathetic. Now it's 6 pm, I'm just waking up from a nice long afternoon nap, and I have an exam tomorrow at 9am that I have not studied for quite yet... it's just ethics though, it's very manageable.
So. This girl. I think we're already starting to grow fond of each other. Although, *if a relationship were to happen, it's not going to happen anytime soon.
So, I just spent about two and half hours chatting on msn with a girl I used to go to high school with, reconnected via that gay.com site I mentioned earlier.
We've got lots in common, and some things not. I told her I lack experience, she says she has tones. She said she'd protect me from all the lesbians at the gay bar from praying on me lol I thought that was cute. She's kinda sexy, and she says I have a very nice body, and that I'd adore her if I got to know her. I think, she would make for a real cool playmate ;D and for a real good friend =)
I just signed up at Gays.com...
it's like fbook... but gay.
Twill be interesting to see if anything becomes of it!
Lunch. I've decided to thaw a shrimp ring for myself, haven't had one of those for a while. It's the lunch of champions, and happens to be one of my favorite snacks while studying.
It's the beginning of the afternoon and I've been up for about 8 hours already...
What is your "interested in" on fbook??
The last couple of days I've been debating whether or not to change mine from nothing, to women and men.
Now, I'm not the type of person to shout out to the world (or in this case, a large part of my social network), "I'm gay!!", however I certainly don't mind people knowing. I think the major reason I'm hesitating is because by putting up that information, I feel like I'm advertising myself in a way that I feel is unnecessary. Buuut at the same time I see it as a fun way to let people who would not otherwise know, know!
I'm out to my dermatologist... beat that.
I've been dealing with miner acne since I was about 14. Although this year, it battled it's way up to moderate and pounded my face into the ground lol As you can imagine, I've tried a few creams, cleansers, etc. My mom's been buying me all these products. After doctors prescribed bullshit money grabbing products didn't work, my mom cut the crap and got a reference from my cousin, who is a doctor, to see a dermatologist. I swear she cares more about my face than I do myself!