I am the sun. I am the sky. I am the wind. I am the whisper of the trees. I am the dancer in the dark. I am the melody that plays somewhere in the mountains, hail Carolina, hail Carolina - I'm coming home. Traffic is slow. Time is fleeting. My eyes stray to the horizon where Asheville glows with morning light.

Cigarette smoke. FM radio. Static on the airwaves.
Turn it off, sleep a while. Hold my breathe while the wheel drifts. Hummer passes by, shakes the ground; but it don't shake me, I'm made of tougher stuff, son. Someone is waiting for me over this hill. Someone is waiting for me in the city.

My father once told me that living is simple, it's everything else that makes you struggle. Money comes. Money goes. People stay. People flow. It's the moon, and the tide. It's the place, and the times. Stick a around, kick off your shoes. Stay a while. What have you got to loose? Leaving, going... it's all the same. The only difference is the distance between.

I'm alright. I'm okay. Turn the key. Start the ignition. Pistons fire, wheels spin, metal lurches forward swallowing the gravel. Beautiful day. Beautiful world. See Mother Earth in the distance, what a figure, how divine. The mountains are the most beautiful curves I've ever seen on a woman. Whistle at her, like the wolf.

The interstate is quiet, and it's loud. The dashboard is on fire, the sun is in my eyes. The morning air is cold, I'm shaking in my seat. Summer is taking its time getting here this year, but winter was late.

I am the sun wrestling night.
I am the sun wrestling day.
I am the sun. I am the sun. I am the sun.
Shining. Shining. Shining. Shining on.

This state needs some rain, the ground is starting to dry up. They say Atlanta is a desert. They say many things. The galciers are melting. Poloticians are riding their warhorses through the states. Comet's coming, say the Mayans. Jesus is coming, say the Christians. Revolution is coming, say the idealists. Ruin is coming, say the atheists. I wonder who we should believe.

I'm seeing change. Slow progress... but steps forward all the same. The oceans might be rising, the ice might be breaking, the ozone might be depleating... but maybe... just maybe, we'll see a few more good days. Like this one, here on the interstate.

I am the dagger in the sky.
I am the smoke from your mountains of fire.
I am the shadow of the wind.
I am the sand in the desert.
I am the clock ticking away...

Tick. Tick. Tick.
Tick. Tick.
Tick.

Poety. Poets. Poem. Poe. How are a writing desk and a raven the same? I'm not the Mad Hatter. I'm not Lewis Carol. I'm not the alias of some published writer. I'm the young man sitting at a green desk by lamp light, trying to find meaning in new metaphors. I'm the young man in the mountains, half asleep watching his dog roll over and yawn. I am so many things. I am an enigma. I am a 1994 white Ford Escort with bumper stickers and bags of laundry in my backseat. I am the trash that litters the floorboards. I am the mites in the dirty carpet. I am the gunk in the drink holders and the holes in the ceiling, and more importantly I am the leftovers of drivethru's from across the state that are slowly molding in their paper sacks... How wonderful.

Yes the interstate is a tranquil place. Yes the road is a sanctuary. A place of peace. There are accidents. Yes, there are crashes. Some die, and their blood spilled across hot pavement, but there are many others who drive by and shake their heads and look in their rear view mirrors, trying to get a glimpse at the carnage and the horror... strangely enough. Aside from the occasional misstep, yes, there is peace here. There is time to sit and think and watch the birds return from their long vacation south.

There is time to be human. There is time to be poetic. Yes. There is time.

Euphoria, OH! Euphoria, my God! Euphoria!
El-ek-tr-ik-si-te in my body, in my soul, in the soil raging from
Lightning storm of dust and blood, OH!
Wake me up! Bravo! Bravo!

Echo Immortal! Echo Immortal... Echo Immortal!
The dogs of war at my heels, all hail the dogs of war!
Hear the bells of Gemini ringing forever! Trumpets sound! Echo echo.
I give my thanks to the gladiators of time who rise for dawn!

Ring forever, ring forever; Atrium! Veritas! Astronaunt, astronaught!
Can you see tomorrow? Are you the angel from beyond?
Starfall, solarflare, earthquake, firestorm, cyclone, hurricane, ice age!
How will it all end, russian roulette; finger on the trigger, now FIRE!

Wormwood, Jesus, Hera, Jimi Hendrix, Allah, Yawgmoth, Fred Finstone
Ziggy Stardust, Horus, Jupiter, Zeus, Lennon, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr
Goliath, Ogg, Hoggle, Bartlebee, Megatron, Uther, Diana
Where is the messiah of the lotus of love?

LSD
THC
Magic Mushrooms
Dream forever, dream forever, dream forever...

Euphoria, Oh!
See me smile like the Chesire Cat!
Euphoria, my God!
Heaven is a stardust dream punctuated by comets and angels...

It is here, inside of me. Illuminating the tangent soul.
It is here, deep within me, giving radiance to flesh and bone.
It is here, screaming from the balconies of the Citadel of Stars

Wanting.
Needing. Praying.
Living.

It gives me hope
And meaning.
Like Edison, I marvel at electricity

Light the way. Light the way. Set the torches ablaze
Fire tear away the night. The sky and the cold.
I am the coyote in the stars, the storyteller in the dark, wating to be heard.

Oh! My God, hold up the heavens
Oh! My God, hold me in your arms.
Oh! My God, let me know you. Let me love you. Let you consume me in body and mind.

Here is Wormwood and Gall.
Here is a man found wanting.
Here is a soul found yearning.

Whisper to me the wonders of the sky. Whisper to me the wonders of the light.
Tell me secrets. Make me believe. I need something now
to hold together the vagrant seems. My heart is open. Body willing. Show me anything.

I
am
ready.

I
am
willing.

I
want
to love you.

I
want
to know you.

I am,
Iam,
I am so many things.

Call me down a star. Oh! call me down a comet,
and I'll ride into oblivion like a warhorse into battle against the darkness.
I am filled with vigor. Oh! My muse, don't leave me, how dreadful it is to be forsaken.

But I am not alone, and I am not broken.
I am mended, fused together with starlight and hope.
I am the rose. I am the rose. I am the rose. Thorns, stem, flower petal, sex love, machine organic automation of flesh and desire.

Veritas. Truth, Oh! My sacred truth.
There are no answers. Only questions. Ask forever. Ask the stars. Ask the stone lions. Ask the mountains. Ask the river.
They know the answer. They are the answer. It is inside of them. It is apart of them.

Just as it is a part.
Of me.
Of you.

Destiny, my love. Fate it is my love.
My love
My love.

Dreamless sleep. Eternity in wating. Oh! Isolt, I am Tristram, where are the white hands?
Where is Authur and his court? The table turned, the knights unbound.
Quest til dusk the Holy Grail.

I am the screaming wind. The shadow of the mountain. The fire inside of man.
I am the vortex that swallows stars. I am the moon barking back to dogs.
I am the dog, hiding in his doghouse. Waiting for God.

Nevermore cried the Raven. Nevermore cried the Raven.
Edgar. I love you. You are not forsaken.
I am man. That is enough. That is enough, to hold together the sky.

Atlas! Don't fail me now.
Ikenbon, ride with me against the wind.
We are the lightning in the cloud.

Oh! I am filled with grace.
Oh! I am filled with life.
Oh! I am filled with hope.

Hope.
Beauty.
Love.

It is here, hiding just beneath the flesh

It is here, swirling in this blood

It is here, filling my lungs with air

It is here, beating within my chest

It is here, sleeping underneath my fingernails

It is here, in the electricity that dances in my head

It is here... it is here... it is here...

Now the wind is whispering, speaking of it

Now the sky is on fire, illuminated by it

Now the earth is shaking as it runs with it

Now the oceans are rising to meet it

Now the mountains are changing colors as they make love to it

Now the cities are falling as they try to escape it

Now I am apart of it

Now I am... Now I am... Now I am...

The fleas of the dogs can sense it

The hawks waiting in the trees can feel it

The ants in the hill have touched it

The grass of empty meadows sway to it

The snake in Eden's garden has tasted it

The storm over the ocean has screamed with it

The sun and the moon from afar have watched it

It is fast coming... It is fast coming... It is fast coming...

How can we come to know it? It knows us all to well

How can we measure it? It has measured us since time began

How can we master it? It has been the master of us all

How can we tame it? It has made us docile like whipped dogs

How can we understand it? It understands more than we believe

How can we embrace it? It has been our lover

What is it..? What is it..? What is it..?

Questions have only pushed us further from the truth...

It is the Answer...

I believe in nothing. I believe in everything. I believe in no one. I believe in everyone. I am a paradox that walks and talks and spits and dances and runs and throws balls of fire into the sun and gives my heart to no one and everyone one and certain beautiful someone. I am the fist for your vanished air Bukowski once said as he played is electric piano and spat ink on dirty sheets of paper.

I am no savior, I am no shepard, I am nothing to be forsaken or to be loved. I am nothing to be seen or heard, and yet I keep screaming at the sky, waiting for answers from above. I am nothing, and I am everything. I am everything.

I am fucking everything.

I am only a man. I am only a man. I am only a man.

And that is enough.

Bring me your faithless. Bring me your hopeless and depraved. Bring me your criminals and psychopaths. Bring them, and today they shall feed from the waters of sacred springs. Didn't your Christ and your Bhudda believe in love and yet they never gave their heart to men or women. Strange occurance that. So throw off the lights, let the music blare, let it shake the walls and bring these cities of metal and men crashing down like towers on September 11th. Down in flames, down in fire, down with dust, down with blood.

Let it all fall and see where it lands. The truth is further than you can imagine

We are no closer to the answer.

The answer... the answer... the answer...

It doesn't hide in manuscripts. It doesn't hide in poetry, or in bibles, in books, or CD's. It doesn't come flowing out of preacher's mouths, and certainly not from the flapping jaws of poloticians. It can't be found in the ink of an authors pen, it can't be seen on two story cinema screens. You won't find it out in nature. You can't find it inside a house. It's invisible on the X-rays, because it never wasted time hiding in yourself.

You can look through the lenses of your tele/micro/radio-scopes, but you'll only find empty space, cells and frequency.

No. It's not there. The answer is hidden somewhere far more clear.

It's right here ---> .

. <--- It's right there.

...................................................................................

...................................................................................

...................................................................................

It's everywhere.

So take a moment. Scratch your head. Roll your eyes. Crack your fingers. Lick your lips. Shift your weight. Swivel your chair. Get up. Go to the Bathroom. Take a piss. Flush the answer down the drain. Turn off the computer screen.

I'll be waiting here.

(Echo Echo, come on now - electron disfuction. Now. Now. Now. Let's talk about energy, those invisible wavelengths that connect you and I)

I've seen and made love to God.
Felt her in my bones, smiling. Laughing. Screaming.
Making love to me for a thousand hours in a world of light that left me drained and empty. Naked and puzzled as to the meaning of it all. Sitting outside, smoking, the ash in my lungs stinging. She was more beautiful that words can ever hope to describe. Drifting there in her arms, entangled. arm. in. arm. leg to leg, lips locked, breathes held tight (until my lungs threatened to explode - the capillaries popping one by one). Our love gave birth to the universe. I felt her shutter with ecstasy beneath me.
Her Orgasims were like stars dying and exploding (compacting and blinding me as the supernovas washed away the all darkness from the fabrics of space), killing entire fields of the galaxy before giving birth to new stars and new worlds and new life.

I have never in all my years. In all my lives. In all the ageless journeys through these worlds in a thousand bodies and a thousand souls, in all the time staring out from behind blue eyes felt the wonder of it all.

And I am left to descibe to you all in these... fragile words, the touch of endless pleasure.

When I woke, the water of the shower had run cold and was freezing yet my skin steamed from the touch of this God, of this entity of energy who had brushed me as she passed through the quiet universe. Where I had gazed into her eyes, there were now open wounds freely bleeding tears of shame and love. Shattered at her feet by having touched her... having felt her.... having felt all of me within her.... that passion.... that love.... that lust.... that hope....

*******
(Dazzling day - burn bright - shine on empty soul, shine on)

The smashing pumpkins played here in Asheville (NC), at the Orange Peel and I was blessed with tickets to one of their shows. It was a great night filled with wonderful music, love, drugs and alcohol.

Ricky and I made love in the park, just beneath one of the trees. The moon was still wild and high and our bodies were glowing beneath it even at 2 a.m. We were there until we exhausted ourselves and then we journied back to our small apartment and entertained what company we could before passing out.

A night worth memory.

*************
(A few questions to pour over - how many metaphors)

~> Who are YOU

~> What is YOUR purpose?

~> Who do you LOVE

~> What do you FEAR

~> Why?

*********************
(It must be the moon, it must be the moon still angry at the sea)

How many years have we wasted. How much time have we thrown away to drown in our own sorrow listening to the worst music on earth as we drive across a thousand freeways in our little metal cars (blasting it until it deafens our hearing). Writing poems, writing journals, writing whatever about all that will never even matter in five years down the road save for the opportunities we missed. How much of our own sufferering is caused by -ourselves- and how we percieve this -AMAZING- world.

There are men and women dying every moment, every second, with every breath - doing their best to hang on to what binds them to life. They would trade anything to have just a few more hours. They would give their souls to walk out of the nightmares they exist in and YET --- there are so many people (including myself) who -WASTE- their -ENTIRE- youths, screaming for attention over the internet in their homes where it is warm and your every desire is cared for by another human being who slaves themself to put food on the table, to pay for your internet access, for your clothes, for all the things that -kept you alive while you were young-

And what thanks do they get? none.

Thank you Mothers and Fathers. Thank you Grandparents and Guardians. Thank you to EVERY LAST HUMAN BEING WHO HAS HELPED ANOTHER.
You will always be. My Hero.

******

There's a war going on across that wide ocean in a world of sand and I can't help feeling guilty for all those souls that can't watch the sky turn ablaze and shine with light from the gunpowder and fireworks that will wash away the stars on the fourth. My prayers go out to all our troops, all our brave women and men with their uniforms and their guns trying to do whatever it is that our political paradimes are trying to acomplish. Godspeed and good luck.

step into this blinding light and
lose control
of the lightning storm
caught in your bones
that still screams
from every corner, and every
scattered edge
of your soul
trying to be heard
over the gunfire and the bombs
that burn away the sky
and the soil
leaving only the smoldering shadows
of those touched by
atomic gods

can we save man(kind)
from his most terrible
enemy
and hated foe
staring back at him
with hungry eyes
from a thousand photographs
and empty
reflections
hiding in the web of lies
of the spiders and politicians
and the sacrament
of dead kings
and holy ghosts

prayers made to
microscopes and medicine
for a cure for his
disease
the maddness and
loss of reason
sufferering and indiginities
cancers and greed
that have driven the
entire population
of our spaceship, Earth
into an impending
annhilation

tomorrow
we will reach paradise
by burning the
world
until all we can
see and touch
is ash
by slaughtering all
that lives and breathes
and gorging ourselves
on what ever
remains

we have numbers
and we have
names
carved into the backs
of our heads
chains and wires tangled
around our hands and neck
waiting to be
thrown into the
spinning blades of these
nightmare machines

how many drums of oil
will the desert trade
for the life
of your son
how many gold rings
and precious stones
glitter and shine
if they are washed
with his
blood

where is the liberty bell
that once tolled
what has become of the
dreams
and feverish ambitions
that created these
cities
that tower into the
clouds

the sun and the moon have raced
across the horizon
for two thousand years
melting our skin and our
bones
laughing at us from
their places
in the sky

our kingdoms have all
fallen
the ancient stones eroded away
into dust
by the wind and the
fires of time
that still burn

each day grows ever
shorter
and the only certainty
is that if we
continue this senseless destruction
we cannot survive

there is still time
and
hope
for (human)ity

if we can
learn
to understand

and
to love

one another

(The Blinding Light - June 27 2007)

**********************************************************

Holding still the fading hours spilling from beneath treasured beds
Dreams escaping from every cut made in this burning fever
A blanket of smoldering light to hold back these homespun satin whispers
Breathing in rapture, trembling gateways collapsing under vagrant eyes
A hundred arms reaching up to brush the sky and blow smoke across the glowing stars
Pulling back the veil of dusks and spent twilights, grasping the universe in shaking hands
Bringing forward the end of time and reason, of men and gods
Lying broken in these kingdoms of red sheets and cheap wine
Skin boiling in ecstasy, eyes closed with tongues caught between teeth
The world crashes and throws her earthen shoulders, seas rushing to devour land and sky
While words pass between exhausted lovers
Falling forward through mists, through the sails of wrecked ships
Into worlds of light

(The Octopus Charm - February 12 2007)
**********************************************************

I have slept in the shade of the Tree of Life
My third eye waking from ancient dreams as I walked through a galaxy of light
Chasing crystal falcons across the golden deserts and the shimmering ocean of stars
I have heard the murmurs of the sky and soil, the hidden stories told by comets and constellations
The whispers of the crow to the storms, the howls of the wolves to the laughing moon
Voices reached out to me from edges of the Earth
I have spoken to the wind and the leviathans that lay beneath the chill waves
To the glass dragons that slept within the jungles of the forgotten worlds
And the titans that dream forever within the spires of gravel and quartz
I have seen the machines of war march from the castles of proud nations
The Sons of Azure have raised their shining swords
Wars fought in the names of guilty gods seated on thrones of gold and blood
I have sold my soul a thousand times to the devils that dance behind the silver sun
To the music of the harps of war, to the spiders and their webs, to the angels and the snow
For nothing more than to hold the heart of the cosmos in my shaking hands
And capture forever the beauty of the soul in immortal words
I am the dreamer, the architect of the spirit

(Solace - June 19 2007)

I had to write this for my english class... It's a narritive
descriptive essay. It's what happened between me and Jason
one night. I miss him alot and I remember this being a special
night for us.. so I tried fairly hard to make this as good as
possible. I figured maybe someone would get a kick out of reading
it *shrug* Enjoy.

***************************************************************************

Lightning cascaded through the blackened skyline as if a titan had hurtled a spear of smoldering white fire through the raging heavens, splitting the darkness with a booming echo of thunder that shook the world. The power flickered for a few seconds within the small restaurant as the amassed bodies shifted and moved uncomfortably in the unsettling darkness that was quickly followed by a chorus of screams that escaped from a few more than dramatic mouths as another thunderbolt was thrown from the storm and made the earth tumble. We were packed in, everyone from the streets having run for cover into the nearest building as the tempest gave way overhead. I was pressed between several bodies, one of them being Jason who smiled and whispered to me quietly. Another lightning bolt fell through the skyline, this time the burning arrow pierced the heart of the generator, covering the restaurant in a veil of permeating darkness that soaked into the edges of our cold bodies. A few more bursts of lightning sparked in the sky creating a small panic between the many huddled bodies within the shroud just as Jason took my hand.
For a moment I ignored it, pushing away his hand instinctively before he took it again, this time pulling me towards him so that our bodies were pressed together. His warm breath traveled the length of my shoulder, pushing the hairs on my neck into standing as he kissed me softly and traveled upwards. “Not here…

Ricky and I talked today for about seven hours... my phone bill is
going to be outrageous, that aside... He asked me if I would save myself
for him until he moves down to Asheville, if I would wait and let him be
the next guy I date...

That's such a strange concept, and it's really hard for me to understand
completely.

I'm not entirely sure what to do about it.

On another note, Michael and Havis (and probably Richie) will no longer
be speaking to me due to a friend completely betraying me and backstabbing
me. Said friend was burned at the stake, and I'll not be talking to him
any longer. *sigh*

So much drama...

Waiting here, null and devoid of life, standing sentinel over changing seasons

Fevered hands and severed voices calling from scattered bastions

Scales tipped and turned on their side, the weight of life falling over broken shoulders

Hollow creation scarred by wounds of light spilling down from poisoned eyes

These Angels in their lust did wed and bring forth polluted sacrament

On high with wings spread, shadows chilling mortal flesh, freezing shattered hands

Choking on mercury, lungs taking on silver and black

Sulfur clouds spilling down through tunnels of red and gold, suffocating the star and hope

This firebird is drowning, this pheonix is wounded and dying with flames wilting under autumn sun

Cries made to hallow men going unnoticed as winter takes hold

I'm finally in Asheville, living in my new apartment and going to college...

Kinda strange to think I'm actually here when a few months ago I was
nearly on the verge of getting lost in the system and working a pathetic
9 to 5 job in the middle of a town I loathed with every fiber of my
being... Now I'm just working 9-5 in Asheville.. I guess it's the same
really.

Ashe is a weird place... with weirder people... and even weirder stuff going,
but suprisingly, the drama is still the same.. go figure?

*ponder*

Oasis seems to be alive and well. That's good news I suppose.

This guardian of treasured doors and irreverasable pathways stands sentinel
Roads of scattered light drifting off into the hearts of severed stars
Where light and metal take shape and motion, fire burning into copper and scorched steel
Arrows cast as falling stars loosing the blue as they throw themselves into eyes scarred by telescopes
Ruin the architect and the dreamer, ruin the artist and the lover, ruin the earth in reclamation

These children so void of light, these creatures so encompassed by hate
Dust born hearts left to drink from an ocean of darkness stretching from their vaulted ceiling of stars
Begotten twilight leading to the heavens pouring out from closed eyes and stitched mouths
Eclipsed and forogtten, the remnant of of some hollow truth spoken only by comets and constellations
Ikenbon of flame and heart

***************************************

Saturn is calling, the spinning rings crying through the tapestry of space
A sound that crawls inside this skull, touching and pushing thoughts into rhythm
Conjuring manifestations from the world soul, opening nailed doors
The cloud of phantasms brushing against the rasping cogs of this mind
Becoming a fog that coils itself over my third eye
And a pulsing light that echoes silently against the dark side of this crystal house

The temples of the sky have fallen, the hanging gardens burning down
Fire rains in a tempest over the oceans of molten glass
Dim the eyes of the angels, and cloud the ethers with a veil of shooting stars
Shaking hands were never meant to catch the fading hours
Moments once precious, spill through the hourglass, grain by grain
One binding truth sounding through the storms

The weight of decisions falls, not to the kings and the stars, but into these cut hands
Dragging and choking me beneath the frame of smoking waters
All while the winged serpents spill out from these splintered doors
Mirrors once brilliant have shattered into gateways from which the seraphs scout
Their arms stretching out with arrows to pierce this fleeting wooden husk
Punching wounds into these paper eyes

The ancient tree has come undone, a golden spear driven deep into its soul
Letting amber tears spill down into the vanishing ground
My demons have risen from their beds, clawing their way into my bastion heart
Each screaming some fragmented dream or blissful sin
As they drag their blood soaked hands through this graying shell
Harvesting the light that spills from the Spirit’s cup

**********************************

Pluto is calling, frigid constructs and forgotten echoes forging tempests
Frost born storms carrying the whispers of looming serpents
The murmur of demons slowly summoning bloodied hands against my crystal door
Marking and scarring hallowed gateways with catalyst insignias
Drinking deep from the serpent’s cup, grasping the tendrils of hell bound smoke
The devil with his hand lead me down, in darkness I fell
Drowning in cold, these lungs filling with silver
The fever of death infecting these eyes, spilling hot ash across my intent
Sinking beneath these tides, chains of destruction shackled around these wrists
My drifting hands stretching out to catch the raining blades
The mark and scar that serves as a deadbolt on shattered doors
Locks and chains, keys and gates were only halos to bind the hands of my demons
Consumed by these shadows, each with their lasting mark and poisons
It becomes impossible to exist so far from light even when I’ve been staring into the sun
The remnants of shattered hope still cut and scar, bringing new wounds
“Who’s left to defend?

I honestly can't even remember the last time I checked this site,
mostly because I haven't had a reason too; I guess in alot of ways it
just reminded me of how miserable most of us are.

There are so many people lost in that decadent struggle of finding love,
becoming nearly obessed with the thought of having someone to hold and kiss,
to touch and maybe more I guess. It's an intoxication that we seemingly
become drunk from before stumbling and breaking our legs..

I've begun to wonder whether it all really matters.. Whether having someone
would really just fix someone's problems. In my eyes it only seems to give
you another anti-thesus. People mean problems, being togeather means double
problems; and yet we still long for that tendril of light and love.. that
hope that this is going to be a hollywood romance, or a disney movie ending
where we walk off into the sunset happily ever after..

What exactly IS happily ever after?

My psychiatrist has been trying to get me on some medication, mostly
because she thinks I'm seriously deppressed and fears for well, my life.
But I can't bring myself to use a bottle of carbon copy bliss, medicated
happiness even if it would help. It just seems so odd, so strange to me
that no matter what good in life there is, it's anti-thesis outweighs it
on so many levels.

I compaired how I felt to drowning, drowning in hate; and not simply
drowning, but wanting every living thing to be drowning with me - for their
lungs to be filling with fire like mine, to be consumed like sometimes I
feel.

She told me that was a warped view; but it was the truth.

Just because I'm not happy myself doesn't mean I don't understand happiness,
or that I don't want to be happy. It all boils down to the fact that
what I need to be "happy" is intangible, and what I need to be sad surrounds
me on all sides.

But I guess that's just my understanding.

Sadness aside, I think I'm doing okay. It's nice to see Oasis is still
around. I hope it's still helping people..

Darkness and light entwining, radiant hands clasping drowning shadows
This paradox sustaining as catalyst energies remain ambient; quietly suffocating
Voiceless, these titans raise their arms in union to trace scars across heaven
Burning the sky to drape themselves in a mantle of flames
The world screaming beneath their eyes as they cut the planet into fragments
Dividing the metal and ash, forests and earth, rivers and oceans
Casting storms of dust and pollution across our blue world
leaving this open husk, this disease of decay and burning trees
Existing as lifeless, spinning around the stars in quiet ruination
The final echoes of our mark, a planet of waste

"That which was lost, shall be found -- That which was broken shall be in fact mended -- That which was taken shall be returned -- That which has fallen shall rise -- That which has damned shall be forgiven -- That which was hated, shall be in fact loved"

Interesting little quote I found written into the lowest brick on a wall I pass by every day at school. I can't entirely explain what in God's name I was doing to find it, but I did. It makes me wonder who wrote it there.. and why? Who would go out of their way to put that quote into the hardest to find spot on a brick wall? Maybe it's just a message for those who find it? Who knows. Interesting anyway though.

I've been somewhat in an artistic mood as of late.. I've been writing a few more poems, with a pretty different mindset which helps circulate the literary blood I guess.. and I've been drawing/painting more than I have in the past.. year? It feels good. I think it's mostly because of a talk I had with an old friend who recently moved back this way.

I've been thinking about writing another short story.. but I had a very interesting idea this time.. A short story, based as a fairy tale, or several very short fairy tales. I think it would be interesting to write something that could be told as a story.. Something similar to folktales.. basically stories that are mystical in nature and explain a normal event.

My first idea was a story explaining why the lightning has thunder, another was to explain why the dogwood has white leaves.. just something easy.. and use characters like animals or Fae/fairies/goblins/mystical creatures.. It could be pretty interesting lol.

Another idea I had was to make an actual "fairy" tale. I've actually heard alot of people say they wonder why there aren't any "gay" fairy tales.. no knights in shining armor, saving other knights in shining armor.. that could be fun too..

Anyway. Keep smiling everyone :)

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There's a dancer in Manhatten, moving in rhythm to the thunderstorms; taking steps in time with the rain. [Leaping with the cascades -- turning with the lightning, twisting and bending with the thunder]
~*~***~>
There are lovers lost within themselves, pushing one another down into the grass, letting the reeds touch bare flesh, the rain soak hair and cool heated movement [Thunderblasts echo as heartbeats]
~*~***~*~***~>
And somewhere in the distance a stallion is crying against the black velvet sky, hooves stamping into soaking earth as it bolts through the wet blades of grass. [dodging thunder, running with the lightning -- showing mother earth that her children are still wild]
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